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Looking to get Hitched? These 1st Messages Lead to Marriage

Do you have dreams of being a June bride or groom?

Have you ever wondered what the secret is to turning digital love into eternal love?

It appears the answer lies in the first message you send to your online crush.

In a recent study, our friends at PlentyOfFish surveyed over 1,000 of their former users in the United States who are now married to their partners whom they met online. They shared with us what made them think they’d found “the one.”

You Had Me At “Hello”

In their survey results, POF found two common first messages respondents received. The most popular first message (17%) highlighted something in a user’s profile that caught their crush’s eye.

The second?

“Hey, what’s up?”

This may be a sign we should rethink looking past this simple message, as it could turn into something long term.

first message

Respondents also said they kept things relatively simple for their first date. The most popular first date among the married couples surveyed was dinner, followed by coffee or drinks, and finished up with an evening stroll.

How Long Until You Know They’re “The One?”

When it came to the first date, men fell hard for their dates faster than women.

More men also reported falling in love at first sight  (17%) than women (11%).

Overall, 40% of respondents said they knew they found “The One” after only a few weeks. Sometimes you just know.

The one

Most Online Daters Are True Romantics

An impressive majority of POF users stated they believed in soulmates, with over 76% of married respondents agreeing (72% of men and 78% of women).

soulmates

Final Advice From the Happy Couples

POF asked the respondents their best piece of advice they wish someone had told them during their online dating days.

Most of the couples said they wished they had said “yes” to more dates, sent and replied to more messages, and allowed themselves to have more fun (22%).

The most popular piece of advice (44%) the would have given themselves is to ditch the idea of having a “type” online. You never know, by expanding your type and opening up your preferences in a significant other, you could end up meeting someone you never would have met otherwise!

advice for dating online

Are you looking for love online?

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Almost 1/2 Women Dating Online are Single Moms

Mother's Day SurveyIt’s Mother’s Day weekend and time to take a digital peek at the single mother’s who are dating online and what their kids think of their dates.

If you think being a single mom reduces your chance of finding love online, this is a misconception among many others. Read on.

According to dating site PlentyOfFish, a survey of their users revealed that 44% of women dating on the Internet are single moms and their reasons for going online and what they’re looking for may surprise you. With almost 28% of single moms admitting they’ve been dating online for over three years, this survey states that they might not be looking for a knight in white armor.

What’s exciting for single moms, it is turns out they’re finding love 10% faster than women without children at home. Does this mean you should post photos of your children in your online dating profile?

As an online dating expert and dating coach, I’m not a fan of having your children appear as your primary profile photo, but believe it’s important to state within the text portion of your profile that you’re proud of your children (and list their ages). It turns out that an overwhelming 76% of single moms do indeed mention their children and/or post photos of them in their profiles.

According to POF:

Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.

But what do the kids have to say about their mom’s dates?
According to POF, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag or a deal-breaker.

Related: 10 Mother’s Day Quotes to Warm Your Heart

POF Mother's Day Survey - Chart 3 - updated

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other key findings include:

  • 1.2% are interested in meeting a clone of their ex, while 60.28% said they didn’t have a type.
  • 51.81% will introduce their date to their children once they are in a monogamous relationship.
  • 54.98% said that with their busy schedule, there was no time to meet anyone anywhere else.
  • 53.99% said that online dating allowed them to get to know someone without sacrificing time with their kid(s).
  • 56.97% are dating online to find a partnership, as compared to less than 1% who are looking for financial support.
  • 62.29% will go online whenever they can find a spare second, followed by weekday nights when their kids are asleep.

On this Mother’s Day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. To find out how you can have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile, visit CyberDatingExpert.com and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.

Most Millennials Have Been Ghosted

Millennials Ghosting

Source: Giphy

Breaking up isn’t hard to do anymore.  All you have to do is ghost and disappear.  One minute you’re texting your steady girlfriend or boyfriend non-stop then suddenly they going MIA with no explanation. It’s simple, but oh so hurtful and I don’t recommend it.

Everyday I hear another story of someone who’s been ghosted, also known as ghosting, or the digital disappearing act. When it’s time to call it quits with your boyfriend or girlfriend, where have the manners gone?

Related: Ghosted for the First Time

One of our favorite online dating sites, Plenty of Fish, just released a survey of 800 singles 18-33, which showed that showing that 80% of these singles had been ghosted.

POF says, “Ghosting” seems to be the new trend when ending a relationship, with the majority of singles reporting getting dumped when the person they were dating suddenly cut off all communication with them, without explanation.”

What do do when you’ve been ghosted?

If you’re steady squeeze or digital crush disappeared, bid a fond farewell and get back on that dating saddle.

The good news from the POF survey on digital dating showed that millennials don’t skip a digital beat when this happens to them. Their report showed that 14.% surveyed wasted no time in getting back into the dating scene by scheduling multiple dates for one night. I’ve always said the best revenge is a life well-lived.

Related: Confused, Is He Ghosting?

Communication is Key

Part of the survey studied the attachment between millennials and their mobile phones. Millennials are so attached to their phones, it’s not surprising that 66% of respondents said their preferred method of communication with an online date is through text messaging, followed by only 14% preferring a phone call.

Mobile dating speeds up the process. The classic “three day rule” of waiting to call after a date has gone out the window with millennials. Now, 20% will contact someone the same day to follow up for a second date after a great first date.  Almost half wait a day or two, while 15% don’t bother at all and wait for their date to reach out first. If you wait the full week, your date might forget your name by the time you call.

POF Millennial Dating Study

Overall, millennials have impacted and changed the dating game quite a bit, but at the end of the digital day, they’re still looking for love. That’s good news for all hopeful romantics. Over 1/4 of the respondents stated they check their dating app once a day, while others admitted to checking in at least 5 times a day.

So log on and keep those push notifications coming.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Olympics, Sports, and Your Love Life

POF Olympics

When you’re single and are on an online dating site, you spend hours-and-hours often answering questions to find a compatible match.

When it comes to physical activities, most men I know who are huge skiers, won’t date a woman who won’t play in the snow with them.

In conjunction with the Sochi Olympics, PlentyOfFish looked at 50,000 of their single members to find out which sports fans will get lucky in love and which activities were the best turn-on?s.

The survey showed that nearly 1 in 2 single men are watching the Olympics because the athletes are sexy, and roughly 1 in 3 single women admit to watching a sport purely for the sex appeal.

POF found that snowboarding and ice hockey were considered the sexiest Winter Olympic Sports by the single women, while the majority of men preferred figure skating.

It was no surprise that the top ranked most handsome male athlete was Olympic snowboarder Bode Miller.

The Top 5 Sexiest athletes at Sochi from the singles survey include:

  1. Bode Miller (Skiing) 22.4%
  2. Henrik Lundqvist (Hockey) 15.6%
  3. Charlie White (Figure Skating) 6.1%
  4. Bobby Brown (Skiing) 3.4%
  5. Shani Davis (Speed Skating) 1.4%

Top 5 Sexiest Female Athletes Competing at Sochi:

  1. Lolo Jones (Bobsleigh) 14.9%
  2. Linn Haug (Snowboarding) 14.2%
  3. Anna Fenninger (Skiing) 11.2%
  4. Anna Sidorova (Curling) 10.8%
  5. Tina Maze (Alpine Skiing) 8.6%

Other findings include:

  • Snowboarding and Ice Hockey are considered the sexiest Winter Olympic sport by single women, each earning 27.3% of the votes
  • An overwhelming 43.6% of single men consider Figure Skating to be the sexiest Winter Olympic sport
  • Men and women agree that curling is the least attractive Winter Olympic sport ? (41.7% of women and 28.3% of men)
  • 49.1% of singles consider Beach Volleyball the sexiest Summer Olympic sport
  • 51.9% of singles consider Weight Lifting to be the least attractive Summer Olympic sport

So how does this relate to your dating life?

PlentyOfFish found the following statistics:

  • Singles who share a love of Hockey are 440% more likely to form a relationship
  • Singles who share a love of Skiing are 380% more likely to form a relationship
  • Singles who share a love of Swimming are 280% times more likely to form a relationship
  • Singles who share a love of Biking are 280% times more likely to form a relationship.

So what’s the answer? Start spending more time outdoors if you want to find a relationship. Go to sports bars and watch hockey games, take a ski lesson, and wipe the dust off the bicycle that’s sitting in your garage.

Do you enjoy outdoor activities with a date?

Your comments are welcome.

Original post from POF

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Love Story – Elizabeth and Michael

Cyber Love Story - Elizabeth and MichaelMeet Elizabeth and Michael who found love online on PlentyofFish.

Here’s what Michael has to say about his online dating journey.

For our first date, Elizabeth and I met at a wine bar on a Thursday evening. We had been communicating for a couple of weeks before hand. Mainly by text. We exchanged messages on POF for a day or so and then exchanged phone numbers.

She ordered a white and I a red and we split a plate of various cheeses and cold cuts. We had planned on playing trivia; a weekly thing that bar does, but we skipped it because the conversation was going so well, well enough to warrant a second glass of wine. 8:00 turned into 9:00 which turned into almost 10:00.

There was some lip locking at the bar. We didn’t much care for who was around us. We called it a night and she gave me a ride to my car. It was quite cold that evening. We agreed to get together again on the weekend, which we did on Saturday.

Date number two was fantastic. After getting somewhat lost, I picked her up and we headed for downtown. I had offered to take her ice skating, which I hadn’t done since I was about 11 years old. (I?m 41 now). So we went in circles around the rink, me gripping the rail in one hand and hers in the other. Maybe I was just being sneaky. There were a few falls, but that was okay, it was good for a laugh. After, we had hot cocoa and walked a bit. Then it was off to the airport to look at the stars, which we didn’t really see due to the clouds. I don’t think we would have noticed them even if the night were perfectly clear.

What the date was meant to do was to live out some of the things we had been talking about when we were texting. We spent the rest of the night together.

Fast forward to now. We’ve been seeing each other regularly, about three days a week. I’m writing this email from her living room. We have future plans for time together and things to do.

Congratulations to Elizabeth and Michael who met on POF.com and became Facebook official a little over a month later.

Do you have an online dating story to share? Send us your story and you might get featured in our Cyber Love Story series.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

 

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles and Online Dating BootCamp programs.

Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt.

Halloween Costumes to Rock Your Dating Life

Halloween - Miley CyrusWill you be ‘twerking’ dressed as Miley Cyrus on Halloween to catch his eye?

We all know that Halloween is a great time to dress up and flirt. Since it falls on a Thursday this year, the weekend before will be filled with lots of parties to go to, while still saving your costume to wear again on October 31st.

Our friends at Plenty of Fish researched the most popular Halloween costumes for 2013 to see what singles would be wearing this year.

Of the 2000 single men and women polled, POF found the vixen costume ranked high for the guys, where the girls were Batman Costume - Halloweenattracted to the Super hero, with Batman costumes high on the list.? Almost 25% of the women polled would be happy to flirt with a Batman, so they’ll be in luck this year. POF’s poll found that 32% of the single men would be wearing a Batman costume.

Costume stores are finding Cyrus’s MTV Video Music Awards mouse outfit to be the big seller this year. While we expect many single ladies to dress up as Miley Cyrus this year, some guys still like the classic beauty look. POF found that 25% of single men would find it easy to approach a twerker, while 20.5% would be happy to approach a classic beauty dressed as Kate Middleton.

Halloween - Orange is the New BlackTo flirt with the guys, 22% of women will be dressing up as Beyonce, while 15.6% will be geared up in prison jumpsuits from the Netfiix hit show, Orange is the New Black.

Just like online dating profiles, where women are looking for a man with a sense of humor, 51% of the women said they’d be attracted to a guy wearing a funny costume. The guys polled were not in favor of approaching a woman dressed in a pregnant Kim Kardashian costume.

Can you fall in love on Halloween or will singles just be looking to hook up? POF found that 53% of women gave a thumbs down to hooking up on Halloween and an overwhelming 87% said they?ve never had a one-night stand on Halloween.

We say it’s time to log on to your online dating site and update your profile to include the Halloween festivities you’ll be attending and what you’ll be wearing. You never know, you just might find an online date this weekend to celebrate Halloween with.

Photo credits: Miley Cyrus Costume: $189. at Bonanza.com. Batman Costume: $48.99? and Orange jumpsuit $19,99 at HalloweenCostumes.com.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and let us know what you’ll be dressing up as this Halloween.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For online dating advice, sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Cyber Love Story – Chanel and Brandon

c3d4q59rMeet Chanel and Brandon who met online on POF.com.

Chanel was immediately intrigued by Brandon’s sense of humor. They soon started chatting online for hours, laughing, and getting to know each other.

Brandon was instantly enamored with Chanel’s outgoing and fun personality, and knew right away that she was someone he had to get to know.

When their first date at a comedy club rolled around, they hit it off effortlessly, and an online spark immediately turned into a real-life connection. Soon enough, Brandon was asking for permission to propose, and presented her with a diamond ring made from his grandmother and they were engaged.

Brandon and Chanel remember their wedding day on July 21, 2012 as a completely magical affair. Because they met online, they selected a Plentyoffish theme throughout to celebrate their love for the color blue! The couple also performed a Korean tea ceremony called Pae-Baek, in which each family welcomes the new member with blessings and words of wisdom. The pair further paid tribute to their families by wearing Chanel’s mother and father’s original wedding bands.

After overcoming obstacles together including unemployment, family health scares, and even entering in “Tough Mudder,” a brutal obstacle-style 12 mile race designed by Navy Seals, the couple is looking forward to traveling and starting a family together!

Congratulations to Chanel and Brandon who found love online on Plenty of Fish.

Share your Cyber Love Story with us!

Submit Your Online Dating Stories

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com.? Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene.? For more dating advice, sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
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Singer-Songwriter Sinead O?Connor is Looking for Love Online

Sinead O'Connor

Photo credit: SineadOConnor.com

Do you think online dating is just for everyday people who aren?t being set up by their friends? If so, think again. More celebrities are joining online dating sites to seek love in a web 2.0 world.

Grammy award-winning singer-songwriter, Sinead O?Connor is hoping she?ll find her dream guy on Plenty of Fish.

According to CBS News, O?Connor recently shared the news with friends and readers on her blog. ??This is to let you all know before anyone else does that I have now officially joined the dating site known as PlentyOfFish.com (or pof) under the username of VeryCareful1 and invite anyone interested to view my profile.?

O?Connor knows that you need to cast a wide net on the Internet and added, ?Although I am living in Dublin I am of course also very much indeed interested in meeting nice gentlemen from other countries.? Sinead O?Connor divorced her husband of 18-days, Barry Herridge in 2011.

Other celebrities who have dabbled in online dating include Gossip Girl?s Chase Crawford on JDate, Joan Rivers who was spotted on Match.com, Pirates of the Caribbean Star Orlando Bloom, and True Blood?s Deobrah Ann Woll.

Would you write to a celebrity if you saw their profile online? Thoughts and comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for more dating advice and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Do you want dating, relationship and lifestyle advice delivered weekly to your inbox? Sign up for our Weekly Flirt newsletter.

PlentyofFish.com on Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

radioshowlogoListen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show where my guest, Kate Bilenki – Director of Love at PlentyofFish.com talked about how POF became the largest online dating site in the world.

POF is a free site, but you can hear how you can increase your chance of finding a relationship by 230% over the other internet dating profiles with their serious membership program.

Kate and I provided some dating tips to help you become more successful on Plenty of Fish. Find out which fish personality is the most popular. Is it the barracuda, angel fish, octopus or swordfish?

Listen to the show to find out more about dating, love, and romance in a Web 2.0 world.

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show with PlentyofFish.com

radioshowlogoJoin Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira on Saturday, November 21, 2009 as she welcomes Kate Bilenki, Director of Love at the online dating site, Plenty of Fish to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show.

PlentyofFish.com was started in 2003 by Markus Frind in his apartment and is now the number one rated free online dating site in the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. with over 16 million members.

Call in at 646-929-0012 at 11am/Pacific Time, 2pm/Eastern time for dating advice and to learn more about dating, love, and romance in a Web 2.0 World.

Listen to Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert on Blog Talk Radio