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OkCupid Creates Right to Love Badge to Support ACLU

Ok Cupid ACLU Badge

One of our favorite online dating sites, OkCupid has partnered with the ACLU for a #RighttoLove Badge to show their support of ACLU, inclusion in honor of Pride month.

As reported on the OkCupid blog, 90% 0f OkCupid users who answered the YES to the question,”Do you support the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)?” will receive the badge.

Also, OkCupid will be donating $1 for each user who adds the badge to their profile, up to $50,000.

Ariel Charytan, CEO of OkCupid says on their blog, “Nothing is more attractive than people who believe in every individual’s #RightToLove who they want to love.”

The site reports a 64% Increase in Political Terms on Dater’s Profiles in 2018, and we see similar sentiments and trends at Cyber-Dating Expert, with singles swiping left on Trump supporters, or making politics a deal-breaker for dating.

RELATED: Love VS. Trump: Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

The conversation about politics on OkCupid is working, as they report profiles that included politics are, “52% more likely to have mutual likes and 78% more likely to have a successful conversation than members who do not.”

Charytan adds, “At OkCupid, we’re proud to be a champion of inclusivity because we believe you should be able to love whomever you want, regardless of your gender, sexual orientation, or ethnicity.”

Interesting stats on daters who support the ACLU include:

Ok Cupid ACLU

  • They’re 4 times more likely to consider themselves feminist (and are looking to dating a feminist)
  • They’re 2 times as likely to have responded “hell no” to the question,”Trump?”
  • They’re 30 times more likely to believe in climate change.

Melissa Hobley, chief marketing officer at OkCupid, tells Refinery29, “LGBTQ communities using political filters on OkCupid comes from the feeling that their rights are under attack by the current presidential administration.” Hobley adds, “Many folks don’t want to have the experience of talking to someone, going on a date, only to find that they voted for Trump — because the stakes are very high.”

Every OkCupid user who answered the question of “do you support the ACLU” will receive the badge on their profile.

RELATED: Do Politics and Love Help or Hurt Your Relationship?

OkCupid was the first dating app to offer 22 gender and 12 orientation options on their users profiles.

OkCupid ACLU Badge

If you’re’ a member of OkCupid, click here to answer the question and to receive the badge.

At Cyber-Dating Expert, we believe in inclusion and love for all. We constantly track the trends of politics and dating. We know the importance of finding a date with similar attitudes and values, and are proud of the dating industry as they address these issues.

Julie Spira is and award-winning dating coach and America’s Top Online Dating Expert . She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs. As a political dating expert, Julie’s now writing her third book, Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships.

10 Ways to Flirt BIG TIME on St. Patrick’s Day Weekend

Cyber Dating ExpertIt’s St. Patrick’s Day weekend, and since the holiday falls on a Saturday, the fun and activities will start on Friday.

How should you get in the spirit of this flirty holiday?

Should you be wearing green as an ice breaker?

Years ago, I would wear a button that said “Kiss Me, I’m Irish,” even though there wasn’t a speck of Irish blood in me.

To help ramp up your digital flirting skills, here’s the online dating expert’s guide to dating and flirting on St. Patrick’s Day.

1. Send a flirty text. Texting the the person you have a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” will brighten their day. Add a four-leaf clover emoji. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Wear green. Find the tackiest flashing buttons, goofiest, hats, and make sure to wear something green to celebrate. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Change your dating profile. It’s time to mix it up online. Post a photo wearing something green, ask if someone wants to get lucky in love, post quotes about the luck of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on your profiles and on social media. Get bolder and post “Kiss me if you’re Irish.”

Start swiping right in the morning on Tinder, Bumble, or other mobile dating apps to find a date by the afternoon.

4. Send a GIF. Open your mobile dating app and send a fun animated GIF to your digital crush. These days, apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and even Facebook and Twitter are using Giphy.

5. Send an animated e-card. We’re big fans of JibJab!, where you send a customized a video or e-card starring you. It will come complete with background music and is guaranteed to give a smile or two.

6. Smile everywhere you go. A smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Compliment everyone. You might normally run away from the guy with the tacky green tee shirt, but stop and say hello. Take it one step further and pose in a ‘selfie’ together. He won’t be able to help himself and will put his arm around you for the photo. If the sparks start to fly, it’s your invitation to continue the conversation. Be even bolder and post it, with permission of course, on Facebook or Instagram.

8. Find a parade. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

 

9. Go to the dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love. Our friend Dr. Helen Fisher, Chief Science Officer of Match tells the New York Times that having a dog shows you’re caring and can make a good parent.

Match also reports that 50% of singles wouldn’t date someone who didn’t like pets. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and take a walk to the local dog park. Your dog will do the flirting for you and it will be a great conversation starter.

10. Make a Shamrock Shake. We have a healthy recipe for a Shamrock Shake that you’ll absolutely love and it can be a fun date idea. If you aren’t into buying the ingredients, and are flying solo, head to Starbucks for a coffee date and order a green tea Frappuccino, or go to a sushi bar and order green tea and green tea ice cream.

 

Wishing you much love, luck, and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus – Dating Expert Julie Spira Weighs In

Ben Affleck Romance - Julie Spira Weighs inHeartthrob Ben Affleck has moved on, so how should Jennifer Garner feel about it?

Access Hollywood Live has been following the story of Ben Affleck’s new romance with SNL producer Lyndsay Shookus, and I was asked to weigh in on their public appearance

ACL hosts Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover asked me if if was too soon for the couple to become official.  After all, Jen and Ben only filed for divorce three months earlier.

Will Ben Affleck’s New Relationship Last?

While I don’t have the crystal ball and everyone deserves to find love and happiness after a divorce or a split, it’s too soon to know whether it will last. The couple appears to be happy and in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

The reality is, men do typically move on more quickly then women. Men often overlap and go from relationship-to-relationship, often grabbing onto a rebound relationship quickly, while women tend to mourn and take the time to grieve the ending of a romance that didn’t go the distance.

As told to Access Hollywood Live,

“That doesn’t mean the new relationship will last forever. It really doesn’t even mean your ex has upgraded. It just means they’ve found a replacement person, for now.”

So how does someone go on (like Jennifer Garner), when you see your ex in a new relationship? In Jennifer’s case, it’s very public, however these days, everyone’s relationship statuses are public because of social media. The world wide web is filled with social media celebrities who chat IRL with Hollywood celebs in a digital world.

Page Six reports that Garner isn’t too happy with the news of Affleck’s romance. The new couple have been seen all smiles in Los Angeles.

I told Access Hollywood Live,

“Even if your sweetheart is on vacation thousands of miles away, you’re going to see it online or on Facebook, and you’re going to think, ‘My gosh, it’s happening right in my living room.’ It really does sting when you see it so publicly.”

RELATED:  5 Ways to Cope When Your Ex Starts to Date

Julie Spira is a celebrity dating coach, relationship expert, and online dating expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter

Dating Resolutions You Can Really Keep

New Year's Resolutions

 

My how time flies!

It’s already the middle of January in 2017.  The V word is right around the corner, Valentine’s Day, the ‘Super Bowl ‘of dating.

For those who made New Year’s resolutions, if they included joining a gym, losing weight, dating again or finding love, here’s some wise dating advice to add to your list that we know you can really keep.

1. I will create a NEW online dating profile.

If you’ve tried dating sites without success, guess what? You’ve got a lousy profile. Whether you decide to hire a dating coach to hold your hand or take on the task on your own, it’s time to say out with the old, in with the new. Your stale profile needs a digital facelift to attract your dream date.

2. I will log on EVERY morning before work and EVERY night before going to sleep.

If you can find an hour a day to call your BFFs to talk about your day, or your empty date card, you have time to log on twice so your profile shows you are active and for you to write to and respond to potential dates.

3. I will ACCEPT three dates a week and will stop looking for perfection.

Going on a date doesn’t mean you’ll be walking down the aisle with your date or merging bank accounts. It’s just a date; a meet-and-greet. The more you date, the better dater you will become. So if someone has 50% of what you’re looking for, agree to go on a date. Who knows? He or she just might become a new friend or might have someone else for you if there’s no romantic connection. Fill your date card (less than 50% of the week) by scheduling three dates. Coffee, lunch, drinks, you name it.

RELATED: Moving From Best Friends to In a Relationship

4. I will go out on TWO dates with each person.

Say goodbye to one-and-done dating and hello to meeting new and exciting people. We believe that everyone deserve a second chance. First dates can make many nervous. In fact some people change locations in the same night (dinner somewhere and dessert elsewhere) just to say they’ve gone on two dates. The goal of your first date should be to keep it light and simple and SCHEDULE a second date on the calendar.

5. I will search and write to TEN people a day. Before you shoot the messenger, you should know that by writing to ten people, you might only get one reply. Remember, not everyone is logging on at the same time, some go on vacation, and others are dating multiple people. It’s not unusual for someone to thank you for your email, but to tell you they’ve met one person and want to see where it goes. The only way to be successful is to be PROACTIVE. That means ladies can write to men, so toss out the old rules. Men will be flattered to hear from you, because they are writing to a lot of women and many don’t write back.

Related: Dating Netiquette: Why Grammar Matters

Think of dating and finding the perfect match for you like looking for a job. You won’t stop searching for a job when you’re out of work, even after three bad interviews or no replies. The same goes with dating. If you’re looking for love, you need to put in the effort to win the digital love lottery.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Photo credit: Fotolia

Our Irresistible Profiles Coaching programs come in a variety of levels, from Going Steady, a profile critique to Totally in Love, with a brand new profile and 30 days of unlimited text/email support, to our VIP Digital Matchmaker plan for the most serious of singles, which includes a new profile and 10 private coaching sessions.

So get out of fear mode, stop ghosting, stop swiping without meeting IRL, and come to the digital party with all the tools you need for a happy and loving 2017.

If you need some help in getting started with your online dating profile, contact us and we’ll help you create that IRRESISTIBLE Profile to help you stand out among the millions of online daters.

Julie Spira is a dating coach and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. She’s a finalist for Best Dating Coach in the 2017 iDate Awards. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter, where you’ll also be able to download for free the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

National Kissing Day – Pucker Up

5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night - Cyber Dating ExpertToday, world will be celebrating International Kissing Day, so if you’re still on a high from Fourth of July fireworks, there’s no need to let the flame sizzle.

Every year on July 6th, singles and couples will have a good excuse to become more romantic and flirty for this annual holiday. It’s time to get creative, both on the lips and in the desired location of that memorable kiss.

In honor of International Kissing Day, our friends at online dating site Zoosk conducted a survey of 3500 singles in the United States to find out everything you need to know about kissing. From air kisses to French kisses, find out the most popular styles of kissing and the biggest turn-offs for a bad kiss.

Related: Kissable Lips

According to the survey, most singles have dated a bad kisser. With 73% of the singles polled claiming they’ve been stuck in a bad kissing situation, know that you’re not alone when you meet a kisser with the slobbering tongue, bad breath, or the one who kisses with his or her mouth closed.

Speaking of closed, the Zoosk survey showed that 83% of singles do prefer to kiss with their eyes closed as compared to wide-open.

Music and romance do go hand-in-hand, so it’s natural that those surveyed had some favorite make-out songs. The top selections included “Could I Have This Kiss Forever?” by Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias, as well as “A Kiss From a Rose” by Seal and “Blow Me One Last Kiss” by Pink.

French kissing, surprisingly enough is more popular in the United States than in France. According to the survey, 46% of Americans prefer the French kiss as compared to 21% of those kissing in France.

Where do couples want to memorialize their kiss? The beach came in as the top choice with 30% of the votes, followed by kissing in the car, by a roaring fireplace, and on a carriage ride in Central Park in New York City.

If you’re away from your sweetheart, remember to send a few digital hugs and kisses XOXO’s via text on your mobile phone to celebrate International Kissing Day. Remember that a goodbye kiss can be more important than the hello kiss and leave a wonderful memory to the end of your date.

What’s your kissing style? Do you have your own kissing dos and don’ts? A dream spot for that first kiss?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter

 

#DateChat With Guest Host @StephanSpeaks

Date Chat with Stephan Speaks

Join us for another fun and exciting #DateChat on Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 5p/PT, 8p/ET as we tackle the subject of digital cheating and relationships. Is flirting on Facebook or Twitter considered emotional cheating?

Just what is emotional cheating and how can you use social media to enhance your relationship without crossing the line?

READ: I saw his text messages. Is he cheating or is it over?

This week our guest host is my friend Stephan Lobossiere, a man who’s on a mission to make relationships happier and more fulfilling. Make sure you follow him on Twitter @StephanSpeaks before #DateChat begins.

Stephan is a certified relationship coach, speaker and author. He’ll be giving away copies of his book, God Where is my Boaz? to two lucky #DateChat participants.

Stephan seizes every opportunity to help both men and women overcome the challenges that hinder their relationships. From understanding the opposite sex, to navigating the paths and avoiding the pitfalls of relationships and self-growth, Stephan’s relationship advice and insight helps countless individuals achieve an authentically amazing life. Stephan empowers millions to take charge of the difficult situations standing in the way of the life and love they seek and to make impactful changes on a daily basis and we’re thrilled to have his input on this week’s #DateChat.

With an international following of singles and couples alike, the name Stephan Labossiere is synonymous with breaking down relationship barriers, pushing past common facades, and exposing the truth. It is this understanding of REAL relationships that he brings to everyone he encounters.

Stephan’s a busy guy and we’re thrilled to have one hour of his time on #DateChat on February 26, 2015 at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Make sure to tell your friends!

READ: Is flirting on Facebook or Twitter Considered Cheating?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

 

 

Julie Spira Named in Top 10 Best Online Dating Experts

10 Best Online Dating ExpertsIt’s an honor and joy to have been named in the “Top 10 Best Online Dating Experts” by DatingAdvice.com.

Words can’t describe how super-thrilled I am to be a part of this wonderful community.

Being in the business of love and helping singles find love on the Internet since 1994 is something I’m so proud of. Every day I hold the digital hands of singles and help them ease into taking their relationships from online to offline. I give them the strength and confidence to start over when their relationships run their course and I feature their success stories in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.

Many thanks to the Editors at DatingAdvice.com for acknowledging my passion in this industry that I love so very much and for selecting me as their featured Online Dating Expert. I invite you to sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for more online dating advice and to stay in touch.

I thank you from the very bottom of my heart and as always, I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

For Lovers and Lovers in Waiting Live Chat

I’m super-excited to have been selected by GenConnect to host their live Valentine’s chat this week, “For Lovers and Lovers in Waiting.”

Click on the link below on Thursday, February 3rd at 3:30pm, EST/ 12:30pm/PST for a live Q & A, where I’ll answer all of your relationship questions leading up to Valentine’s Day. I know how stressful Valentine’s can be. I see all the red candy hearts in the grocery store. Regardless of your relationship stage, take a moment and join our live chat. The best part is, one person will win an Irresistible online dating profile, valued at $495.

Our hashtag on twitter is #gCLove so you can follow the conversation.

Live Chat With Cyber Dating Expert Julie Spira

Your Tango 31-Day Challenge

Your Tango 5 Steps to Being a Sexier New YouOne of my favorite dating advice and lifestyle sites, Your Tango is having a challenge that you must sign up for. Their 31-Days to a Better Sex Life will feature some of the top relationship and dating advice experts in the world.

It’s an honor to be included in this list of dating experts along with John Grey from Venus and Mars fame, my friend and author Dr. Diana Kirschner, and Dr. Ava Cadell.

My article, 5 Steps to Being a Sexier New You appeared on day 3 of the 31-day challenge. So while you’re waiting for that perfect online date to appear in your Inbox, check out my article and all of the other awesome advice during the month of October and practice these simples steps. I look forward to hearing your comments and progress.

Are you single and still sleeping in your flannel pajamas while waiting for Mr. Right to sweep you off your feet? Throw away the Cinderella dreams along with your outdated nightie and get ready to learn the art of flirting before you walk out the door for the evening.

Often, when you aren?t in a relationship, you don?t dress as if your dream guy was picking you up for dinner. Let?s face it. It?s easy to get lazy and end up in a rut. You can?t remember your last kiss. You?ve gained a few pounds since your last relationship. You’ve started to wear less makeup. Your favorite dress never made it to the dry cleaner and still has a spot on the side from the night you spilled red wine on it. The last time you got waxed was when someone detailed your car a year ago.

Sound familiar? My advice is very simple. Start creating rituals at home that will prepare you to feel great about yourself. You can create a sexier new you before having a crush on that someone special. You?ll be surprised at how you?ll start attracting men. Won?t it be fun when suddenly you can pick and choose?

Here?s my step-by-step guide to get in the mood for love without even having to leave the house most of the time. Don?t worry, love will find you when the time is right.

Step 1. Toss away a few pieces of old lingerie that?s cluttering your bureau. Do this right away. It?s time to erase the memories of your past passionate affairs. Out with the old, and in with the new.

Step 2. Invest in one new piece of lingerie. Find a great sale at Victoria?s Secret or go online and select one that fits within your budget. Pick out your favorite color. Think of your new purchase as your favorite little black dress. Before you go imagining wearing it with your new dream guy someday, wear it for yourself first. For now, you?ll be wearing this to sleep at night at least once a week. You?re on your way to a sexier new you.

Step 3. Take a look at your makeup drawer. When was the last time you invested in a simple lip-gloss? Toss away the old makeup and head over to your local department store. Walk around the cosmetics department and find a comfy stool to sit on. Get ready for a free makeover. Imagine yourself going on a date night, while your makeup is being professionally applied. The date night is with your number one fan, yourself. Make sure to get a list of the colors and pick up one item. My suggestion is to replace your outdated lip-gloss with a new color for the season. There?s something very sexy about luscious lips and it?s time your lips are made for kissing.

Step 4. Back at the ranch, it?s time to set the scene in your romantic bedroom. Put away the photos of your family and friends in your bedroom. Move your computer to another room in the house. You?ll be creating a romantic atmosphere and will leave the boardroom behind. Light some candles. Put on some relaxing music, and grab some massage oil. There?s no need to purchase Kama Sutra oils if you don?t have them handy. Baby oil will work just fine. Give yourself a well-deserved foot massage and then curl up with a romance novel.

Step 5. On the following week, change the ritual slightly and if you have a bathtub in your home or apartment, take a bubble bath. Light your candles and have the music going in the background. Put on your new sexy signature piece of lingerie afterward and fall asleep in dreamland. You?ll wake up every morning and start to feel sexier just from creating these rituals.

Now, go out in public and smile at everyone you meet. It?s time to practice the art of flirting. I?ve been flirting since my first crush when I was four years old. It never goes out of style. You?ll appear happier, more confident, more approachable, and there is nothing sexier than a confident woman to attract a quality man. You?ll walk into a room and people will wonder, ?Who?s that girl??

Personally, I have practiced these steps and I know they do work. With very little investment, other than one piece of new lingerie and a lip-gloss, you will notice a shift in your attitude. I can?t tell you how many times I have felt better going to sleep just by lighting a few candles and reading an uplifting book or story, and falling asleep wearing my signature piece of lingerie. You?re now on your way to creating a sexier new you!

Click here for the full article on Your Tango>>>

Cyber Love Story of the Week – Vanessa and Ray

Cyber Love Story of the WeekVanessa moved from the east coast to the suburbs of Houston a few years ago. ?She wanted to meet new and interesting people, but was too busy with her job at NASA and didn’t have time to enter the dating scene.

Based upon recommendations from friends, she joined the online dating site BlackPeopleMeet.com as a free member. When she saw Ray’s profile, she decided to upgrade her membership immediately to meet him.

She sent Ray, a foster parent, an email introduction. Ray responded and the communication began.

During their first lunch date, they quickly realized that they both had a lot in common. Both Vanessa and Ray had children from their previous marriages. They also both enjoyed crossword puzzles and exercising.

The two easily blended their families together and two years after their first online date, they were married.

Congratulations to Vanessa and Ray who found love online on BlackPeopleMeet.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

Read More Cyber Love Stories>>>

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