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What to Get Your Date for Valentine’s Day – Gift Guide Ideas

Valentine's Dating IdeasSelecting a gift for Valentine’s Day can be tricky. It’s not unusual to get a gift you don’t like.

A survey commissioned by Finder.com of 2,001 American adults, and conducted by Pureprofile in February 2018, showed an estimated $30.3 billion will be spent this Valentine’s Day!

If you go overboard on a new relationship with fancy jewelry, it can scare someone away.

If you don’t bring flowers or acknowledge your significant other on the most romantic day of the year, you might end up in the dog house.

How to you handle gift giving?

On KABC -7, I discussed a few gift ideas will help guide you into his or her arms.

With half of Americans celebrating Valentines’ Day this year, sometimes you could use a little help.

Here are 5 Gift Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

Key Me Valentine's gift1. A Key to Your Heart and Home

A new mobile app, KeyMe, makes it easy to take your relationship to the next level.

How it works: Open their app and take a photo of your key.

Scan it and send it up to the Cloud. You can then email your information to your significant other.

He or she then can find a KeyMe Kiosk at many different retail locations including Bed, Bath and Beyond, 7-Eleven, and many grocery stores, etc. Their new key will be printed there in 30 seconds.  Cost: $2.99.

Amazon Echo2. Amazon Echo

For those of you who have Alexa-envy, Amazon has reduced the price on several of their Echo devices.

This second-generation fabric echo can bring the inner-DJ out, while you request your favorite songs, or get the latest news and sports scores. If you want to see his or her smiling face, select the Echo Show to watch video clips, see lyrics, and say sweet dreams.

Echo (2nd Generation) with improved sound, powered by Dolby, and a new design – Charcoal Fabric

Available in many stores, you can also order this on Amazon Prime and get two-day delivery. Cost: $84.99 – $179.99

Cyber Love Song of the Week3. Music Playlist

Nothing is more romantic than curating your own set list for your sweetheart. It’s deeply personal and will show your love through music.

If you attended a concert together as a couple, or there’s a song that’s just for the two of you, include it in your musical gift.

 

Tulips

 

4. Flowers

If you only buy one gift this year for a woman, make sure it’s flowers.

It’s the simplest and most romantic gift you can select.

While $2 billion will be spent on flowers this year, with 250 million roses produced for Valentine’s Day, bringing a dozen red tulips for a new relationship, or one long-stemmed rose, will warm her heart.

Cost: $2 – $200

 

5. Gift Cards

Gift Cards

As a last resort, if you’re not sure what to get, and you’ve run out of time, GiftCards.com can come to your rescue.

Last Valentine’s Day, I received a gift cards to Sephora and to the local movie theatre, and enjoyed them both immensely.

You can order them online, and they’re perfect for those in a long-distance relationship, or go ahead and splurge on one for yourself.

Wishing you much love and joy on Valentine’s Day.

Is it Too Late to Ask? Valentine’s Day Cut-off Rule

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.com

Valentine’s Day is five days from now, and the Super Bowl memories have already faded away.

Have you asked your date to be your Valentine yet?

If not, are you aware that there is a “cut-off” rule for when to decide who you will be spending February 14th with?

If you have watched Curb Your Enthusiasm, you might recall that Larry David discussed the cut-off rule in an episode. They determined 9:30-10:00pm for the cut-off time to phone a friend. It became a heated discussion.

The same ‘cut-off’ theory applies to Valentine’s Day.

In my online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, one of my rules of netiquette was the cut-off rule.

This rule applied to the most common misrepresentation in an online dating profile – the accuracy of your age.  Although I believe in authenticity, I had decided that 5 years was the maximum amount of years that you could take off your age in your profile, if you felt you needed to fit into a search.

I added that you need to be honest in the body of your email, on the phone, or certainly the latest by the first-date. I don’t promote lying on your profile, I just know that many singles do.

RELATED: Watch Valentine’s Survival Guide

Getting back to Valentine’s Day. When is it too late to ask the woman you are dating out for Wednesday night?

Here’s my relationship advice. I took a poll during the Super Bowl posing this question.

Most men felt they could wait until the last day, if there was chemistry with someone they had just met. I disagree. I believe one week is the maximum, and that once the Super Bowl was over, it was time to put the date in ink on the calendar and reserve whatever remaining restaurants were available at such a late date.

Think about it.

Most restaurants book up a month in advance of Valentine’s Day, so there will be slim pickings. You can always opt for in-room dining and bring food home, and set the table with fine china and candles.

If you are waiting until the last minute, don’t be surprised to find your date has made other plans. A smart, confident woman doesn’t wait around for the phone to ring. She’d rather be alone than be an afterthought.

RELATED: What do I do if he Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

If you have made Valentine’s plans and have a change of heart, don’t go down in history as the guy or girl who cancels on her Valentine’s date the week of because someone better came along. It will come back to haunt you. If you are gearing up for this romantic day, logging into your online dating profile on a regular basis during the days leading to Valentine’s may put you in the dog house, instead of the bedroom.

With or without a date, my advice is to try and enjoy Valentine’s Day and be open to the possibilities of love, or hanging out with friends. Open your mobile dating app and start swiping and chatting. Your next Valentine just might be a click away.

RELATED: 7 Ways to Find a Date by Valentine’s Day

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira – ABC News – Valentine’s Survival Guide

 

With Valentine’s Day just a week away, I sat down with ABC-7’s Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva with a Valentine’s Survival Guide to get you to and through the most romantic day of the year.

Can you find love online in time for Valentine’s Day?

I say yes! With the convenience of your mobile phone, we’ll have you chatting and dating in a digital split second.

Here are 10 Tips to Help You Survive Valentine’s Day With a Hug and a Smile

  • Sign up for a Mobile Dating AppUse your Facebook photos to create a new profile and say “love is in the air.” Have a friend or a dating coach like myself help you with your profile.

 

  • Become a serial dater – This is the time I give you permission to date up a storm. Schedule one date a day until Valentine’s Day. Double-down and schedule two dates a day, where one will surely rise to the top and be worthy of a second date.

 

  • Use Premium Features – Match shows you peak times, where their Top Spot feature will show your profile to get the most visibility for just a few hours. OkCupid’s Boost feature will do the same for 15 minutes.

 

  • Give your date a card – A hand signed card or a love note will warm his or her heart for all dating stages.

 

  • Don’t forget Flowers Two billion dollars will be spent on Valentine’s Day flowers this year. Bring one long-stemmed rose or a dozen tulips to have the same effect, while not breaking the bank.

 

  • Say ‘I Love You’ – If you’re relationship is moving forward, there’s no better time to profess your love than on Valentine’s Day.

 

  • Choose In-Room Dining or Cook a Meal Together – If you’ve waited too long to make a reservation at his or her favorite place, pick up some prepared meals at the grocery store, or ingredients for a spicy romantic dinner. Remember to bring candles.

 

  • The gift of time – Valentine’s Day is about spending quality time together, and there’s not better gift than just being together.

 

  • Valentine’s Breakups – It’s not a great idea, but if your relationship has been sliding downhill since the past holiday season, have a talk with your significant other, sooner rather than later. Valentine’s Day can be filled with pressure, so be kind about it and if you’re going to call it quits, do so in person, and not on the phone, email, or in a text message.

 

  • Singles Awareness Day is on February 15th – If you’re not in the mood to find a Valentine and hate the holiday, there’s no need to fret. The day after will be a holiday to celebrate your single status.

Don’t let the pressure get to you about Valentine’s Day. Some people are still paying off their credit cards from December gift giving. A study shows that 54% plan to spend less than $100 and only 10% of singles spend over $250 on Valentine’s Day.

A survey from OneHourTranslation.com of over 4000 people around the world, showed that 31% plan to purchase their gifts online this year, so there’s still time to send something romantic to your Valentine or digital crush.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and is an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles on finding love online for over 24 years. 

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

 

It’s Showtime – Why the Super Bowl is Like Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day versus the Super Bowl

It’s officially Super Bowl week and Valentine’s Day is two weeks from today.

I’ve gone on record saying the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women.

Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year.

As we count down the days to the 52nd Super Bowl (LII) at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, whether you’re rooting for the AFC championship team, the New England Patriots or the NFC championships team, the Philadelphia Eagles, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

It’s that big of a deal for both sexes and here are the reasons why.

Women often wonder if men hate Valentine’s Day and a report by WalletHub says 53% of women say they’d break up with their significant other if they got nothing for Valentine’s Day. The same report shows that 9 million marriage proposals will take place on February 14th.

 Valentine’s Day is the third-largest consumer holiday of the year, with over $18 billion dollars spent in the name of love!

Back to sports, men often wonder if the women are authentically cheering for their favorite team, or if they really like football at all.

Most men don’t want to be distracted by women while watching the game, unless they’re viewing the cheerleaders on TV. Guys wait all year for this day and romance is put on hold until one team gets the ring, one that doesn’t include a diamond center stone with the promise to have and to hold forever.

We know between football pools and the high cost of advertising, this Sunday will be an expensive day for many.

This year, the Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day are ten days apart.

With Valentine’s Day being held in the middle of the week on a Wednesday, some decide to celebrate the holiday over the weekend before, on February 10th-12th, or on the long President’s weekend of February 16th- 19th, to avoid the huge expense on that one night of the year.

The pressure on Valentine’s Day is enormous. The pressure for your favorite team to win the title of Super Bowl Champion is at an all-time high.

Valentine’s Day IS the Super Bowl of Dating

These next two weeks are truly a double-header, so enjoy the ride. Most guys won’t even make a dinner reservation or ask a girl out until after Super Bowl Sunday. I encourage you not to wait until the last minute to ask your date to be your Valentine, or you might find out that she’s made other plans.

RELATED: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women?

Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. It’s the end of the season and the two best teams go for the ring.

Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything, for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, which ironically is “Singles Awareness Day” or any day after.

Guys, if you’re playing the field swiping right and left on mobile dating apps, or flirting on Tinder and Instagram, if you don’t ask our your digital crush, you lose.

Game over.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say “I love you” for the first time.

Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’ It’s on the digital wish list for women, period.

Are you Prepared for Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day?

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue to view the game at and with whom they would like to spend watching the teams battle it out.

Women like to be prepared for Valentine’s Day. They start giving little hints out a month in advance about their favorite romantic restaurant, post photos of jewelry or trinkets on instagram and facebook, all with the hope the the guy they’re dating will take the cue and book a reservation before their favorite eatery is fully booked.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed, but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau, or someone she is dating ,doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it. Expect a breakup or a big confrontation.

RELATED: 10 Valentine’s Date Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her “number one guy” will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the dating totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to both of you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, we’re here to help.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl and do you love, or hate Valentine’s Day?

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles for almost 25 years in finding love online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Sign up for our Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

7 Ways to Find a Date By Valentine’s Day

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one month away, and it’s countdown time for romance.

Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love by Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Search for events on Eventbrite, Facebook, and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from last year, or even six month ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos from a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find your favorite photos that got the most likes on Facebook or Instagram, and add them to your profile. If you got a new puppy add a cute photo of your four-legged friend to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot.

RELATED: What to Do if He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

3. Start Swiping! Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average three mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years! Connect your instagram feed or spotify account to your mobile profile, so people can see exactly what you look like now, and know your musical taste.

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

It’s peak season, now through Valentine’s Day, with Sunday being one of the most popular days for onlien daters. I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when your digital crush sends you a message!

Upgrade during peak times and rush hour for just a few dollars to a premium service on sites such as OkCupid and Match.

Use the “Boost” feature on Tinder to appear at the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Flirting on Facebook? If so, you’re not alone. Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

RELATED: Facebook Love Stories: Showcasing Tales of Romance and Dishing Out Tips for Dating on Social Media

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo, and over 50% of singles have tried to get back together with an ex. Go ahead and send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

RELATED: How to Get Back Together With Your Ex

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

5 Tips to ROCK Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday - Cyber Dating Expert

What’s all the buzz about Dating Sunday?

With the New Year and love on the minds of many singles, Match and other dating sites have predicted the first Sunday after New Year’s as the busiest time of the year for activity. The EXACT time you should be logging on for love is at 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT.

Area you ready for the world’s largest digital love fest?

RELATED: Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on ABC News on Dating Sunday

Here are some tips to make the most of Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday Tip #1: Don’t be Shy: I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal,” so go ahead and make the first move. Check out who has viewed your profile and reply back the same day. If you don’t respond, someone else will.

Dating Sunday Tip #2. Get Ready to Push. Log onto your mobile dating app profile and check your settings. Make sure your push notifications are set to ON, so you’ll get notified if your digital crush responds to you and then start swiping, big time.

Dating Sunday Tip #3. Upload New Photos and Smile! It’s a new year, so replace your existing profile photos with some new fun shots. The built-in cameras are terrific on mobile phones now, so have a friend help take new photos of you, or hire a professional to look your best. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we have photographers we work with and we’ll make sure your profile is date-worthy when we create your Irresistible Profile.

Dating Sunday Tip #4. Log On Frequently. Your soulmate can’t find you if you’re invisible. Log on twice daily to keep your profile active, especially in the evening during peak traffic hours, and take time to see who has viewed your profile or liked your photos.

Dating Sunday Tip #5: Fill Your Bucket List. Match has a great feature called, the bucket list, where you can list the things you’ve been dreaming about doing. If you like hiking, say you hike on weekends, but would love to hike Mt. Kilamanjaro someday. You might not make it to the top of the mountain, but you will easily fill your date card with those who also enjoy hiking. If you’d love to go on a safari in Africa, add it to your bucket list. You might meet someone who’s been there and can’t wait to show you his or her photos, or better yet, you just might end up there with someone you meet online.

Singles will be looking for love online in record numbers, exactly at 8:55pm/ET on Sunday, January 7th. Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and peak season is happening now, through Valentine’s Day.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for Dating Advice Delivered to Your InBox

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

5 Gifts To Impress Your First Date

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sIt’s still possible to find a date for Valentine’s by just popping up your mobile dating apps.  Turn on your push notifications and be bold and agree to meet on Valentine’s Day.

With that in mind, if you score a date, what are you supposed to do about a gift? Should you give anything at all? Our guest blogger Michelle G.,CRS® offers these tips for Valentine’s gift ideas for a 1st time date.


Valentine’s Day reignites the conversation of whether a first date gift is appropriate. Some argue that it may be a bit “cheesy” to show your softer side on a first date, while others may feel the fear of their gift being rejected. My recommendation is to do what feels right for you.

In today’s competitive dating landscape, it’s all about the little details to help you stand out from the crowd. The rule of thumb for choosing a gift is to make your choice based on a previous conversation you had with your date. If you haven’t had a chance to glean any tips on what to gift just yet, here are some foolproof ideas to spark up your first date.

Here are 5 Simple Gifts to Give on a First Date

Flowers1. Flower Bouquet

Who doesn’t love flowers or a gift from nature? Flowers and plants are thoughtful, unisex and not too personal. If you didn’t know, there was a time when flowers where a traditional (and lovely) first date gift every woman loved. Stand out from the crowd, impress your date and start off on the right foot with a bouquet of red roses or white lilies.

P.S. Pick up red tulips from the grocery store. They’re a fraction of the cost of roses and you’ll have the same impact.

RELATED: 3 Online Dating Photos to Avoid this Valentine’s

2. Greeting Card

A thoughtful greeting card with an uplifting or inspirational message can also work miracles when you’re looking to stand out and make an impression on a first date. Your positive spirit can take you places you never thought possible, faster than you could imagine. Everyone can use a little extra cheer in their lives and you could stand out on your first date by turning up your positively with a thoughtful greeting card.

P.S. We love digital cards from JibJab!

Chocolate Chip Cookies3. Baked Goodies

If you’re meeting in a coffee shop, treat your date to a delicious pastry and watch how quickly you can control the ambiance and mood of your date. Be mindful of any food allergies, intolerances (gluten), or sensitivities (dairy) your date might have. You don’t want to inadvertently get them sick. To be sure, wait until they arrive at the coffee shop, ask them if they have a food intolerance, then offer a treat. You’ll be a rockstar for caring!

P.S. Bake some homemade cookies for both of you to share.

 

4. Chocolates

An oldie but a goodie… If you’re not sure what kind of chocolates your date likes, an incognito way of asking is to share insider information about your favorite foods and desserts first before asking them what they like. Then, by the magic of reciprocity, your date will feel compelled to share similar information with you and voilà; you’ll know what types of chocolates he or she likes… Try this simple technique on your next date!

P.S. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac!

RELATED: What do I do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

5. Bottle of Wine

Coda WinesThis is an excellent gift idea for when you want to show off your classier side. In case you feel this is a risky move, just know that wine’s not too “forward” of a gift and it’s well accepted. While you may not know what type of wine your date prefers, it is the thought that counts! The best recommendation when selecting a bottle of wine is to go for a red Cabernet Sauvignon or a refreshing white Pinot.

P.S. You can ramp it up with a bottle of prosecco from the grocery store if you think your date likes bubbles or check out codawines.com, where their wines are inspird by music.

For more Valentine’s Day ideas, read our Valentine’s Day Survival Guide.

Follow @AskMichelleG on Twitter

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

 

What Do I Do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day?

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a single woman is feeling anxious because the guy she’s dating hasn’t asked her out yet for Valentine’s Day. Here’s her question and our answer.

Dear Julie,

I met this great guy online and we’ve gone out on five dates since the New Year. I really like him and we haven’t discussed dating exclusively yet, but I’ve seen him the past two Saturday nights, so I really think I’m becoming his girlfriend.

Should I be worried that he didn’t ask me out yet for Valentine’s Day? It’s next week, so what is he waiting for? Would it be wrong of me to bring it up first? Maybe he was focused on football, but that game is over and I really want to spend Valentine’s with him.

What should I say or do?

Corrine

Dear Corrine,

First of all, congratulations on meeting a great guy online. January is one of the busiest months for online dating and lots of singles are joining dating sites as part of their New Year’s resolutions list.

You didn’t mention if both of you still have ACTIVE dating profiles up or not. I have a feeling you probably do, as if you haven’t had the talk about exclusivity or Valentine’s, he might assume you’re dating other people and he might be doing the same.

Believe it or not, most guys don’t like Valentine’s Day. They think it’s overrated, expensive, and would rather stay home and watch TV. However the romantic and smart ones will know that if they don’t ask you out on the biggest romance day of the week, they’ll be in the dog house and might not get a chance to continue dating you after the 14th. Is this harsh? I think it’s more a matter of tradition.

READ MORE: Why Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

So if you have a dating profile that’s still online and you’d like to see this guy exclusively and hopefully for Valentine’s Day, I urge you NOT to log on.  He and his friends don’t need to see that you’re busy scouring the Internet for potential dates.  How would you feel after a great date with this new guy, if you noticed that he went online right away? Probably not great.

So my best advice is, if you don’t want to date others and really like this guy, then don’t. Take your profile down if you like, but don’t let him know that you did this.  You should do it for yourself, not because you think he has to do the same. He’ll probably notice it, but a man needs to make the decision to be exclusive based on how he feels when he’s with you. If your dates are fun and light and you’re a joy to be around, he’ll notice those red candy boxes everywhere and will probably want to do something with you for Valentine’s Day.

Towards the end of this week, let him know that you really are traditional and love sharing Valentine’s Day with the person you’re dating. Stop and LISTEN to what he says. If he starts to pull back or changes the subject, it might mean he has made other plans. The best thing you could do is not get upset with him. If he asks you out for the 13th or the 15th, reply with, “Oh, I was hoping I’d be your Valentine.”

READ MORE: 7 TIPS TO GET LUCKY IN LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

You’ve only gone out on five dates and that’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy when a relationship is so new. Buy him a cute card, or better yet, there are so many fun cards on JibJab, the animated card site, so send him a humorous card; not something that says, “I love you,” and see how he responds.

The bottom line is, he knows it’s Valentine’s Day, but might not know how special that day is for you. Rather than having him spend a lot of money on a fancy restaurant, why not suggest collaborating on an in-room-dining experience, where each one of you brings or makes a different dish. It’s a great way to bond in a relationship without all of the pressure.

Do you have a question for Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.
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Valentine’s Gift Giving for ALL Relationship Stages

Does it always have to be so complicated when giving gifts for  Valentine’s Day?  You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go and the pressure is on.

We’re here to lighten things up for you, so If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps you want to get something for your long-time love, we’ve got you covered, regardless of your relationship status.

READ MORE: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Here’s our Valentine’s gifts cheat sheet for all relationship statuses.

Newly dating – If you’ve only had a few dates and aren’t exclusive yet, bringing her 1 dozen red tulips will brighten her Valentine’s Day. You won’t be splurging for expensive roses or going overboard, but will still have the impact of bringing her flowers. Start her day off by sending her a fun Valentine’s e-card. I’m a big fan of Jib-Jab, where you can customize the card with a photo of yourself or send a video card. Bringing her lingerie sends a message that you’re only looking for sex (who isn’t?), but at this point she should be selecting her her own lingerie. Spending time together will be the best gift, because if you ignore February 14th, don’t expect to see her again on the 15th.

Going Steady – Honeymoon Phase (1-3 months) – If you’ve been dating for a month or two, she’ll be expecting to be your Valentine’s date if geography doesn’t get in the way. At this point, bring her a hand written card (yes the kind you buy in the store), add in a gift certificate for a massage at her favorite spa, or offer to cook her a meal and have in-room-dining and always bring flowers.  Other fun items include sending her a box of chocolate covered strawberries, or bringing a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne. This way you can feed each other when it’s time for dessert and create new memories together.

Getting Serious – Imperfect Phase (4-6 months) – By now you’ve become an item. You might have even changed your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” and have a drawer at her place. When you’re headed towards the half-year mark, she’ll want to receive roses from you, tulips won’t do. There are plenty of great sites online for you to order flowers from, or you can go to your local grocery store to pick up a dozen. When a woman doesn’t get flowers on Valentine’s Day from her guy, she starts to wonder if you’re still swooning over her. If you’ve taken a trip away together, bring her a personalized gift such as a silver framed photo of the two of you to memorialize your vacation together.

READ MORE: Surviving Valentine’s With a Long Distance Love

Sydney evan Love RingTotally in Love – Over 6 months  Once you’re headed towards the one-year mark, it’s time to up the ante in the love department. She’s going to want something very personal. If jewelry is in your budget, getting her a sterling silver heart necklace, trinket, or bracelet from Tiffany & Company, may end up on your list. I’m a HUGE fan of the Sydney Evan LOVE jewelry line and have been seen all over town wearing a love necklace. There are trinkets in all price ranges. For those of you ready to step it up, but aren’t ready to pop the Q, give her a lovely commitment ring or the Sydney Evan LOVE ring that’s been seen on many celebrities.  It will show you have all 10 toes in, without getting engaged or setting a wedding date.

It’s Complicated – The ex and almost ex – If your relationship is winding down or you’ve recently broken up, should you acknowledge someone who you didn’t go the distance with? Studies have shown that 20% of singles actually text an ex on Valentine’s Day. Whatever you do, don’t send mixed messages and send flowers to someone, when you’re in the arms of another. Trust me, it will sting. You can send them a birthday present, congratulate them on their new job, and call them on holidays to say hello. That is acceptable for every holiday, but Valentine’s Day. If you’ve moved on, sending chocolate covered strawberries shouldn’t be on your gift list. The best gift you can give, is the gift of time apart, so you both can move on.

READ MORE: Would You Text an Ex?

What will you be giving as a Valentine’s gift this year?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice 

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook

 

Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

Valentine's Day versus the Super BowlIt’s officially Super Bowl week and Valentine’s Day is two weeks from today.

As we count down the days to Super Bowl 51 (LI) at NRG Stadium in Houston. Stadium, whether you’re rooting for the New England Patriots or the Atlanta Falcons, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

Women often wonder if men hate Valentine’s Day and are sending roses and buying them chocolate just to stay out of the doghouse.  Men want to know if the girls are authentically cheering for their favorite team and if they really like sports at all, or are they there just to see Lady Gaga perform in the half time show.

In other words, most men don’t want to be distracted by women while watching the game, unless they’re viewing the cheerleaders on TV.  Guys wait all year for this day and romance is put on hold until one team gets the ring.

This year, the Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day are nine days apart. Some decide to celebrate the holiday over the weekend before, on February 10-12th and others pony up the price fixe menu at a romantic restaurant, because they know if you’re not together on Valentine’s Day, there will be an explosion, and it won’t be when you’re under the sheets.

Valentine’s Day is the Super Bowl of Dating

I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men. It’s a double-header, so enjoy the ride. Most guys won’t even make a dinner reservation or ask a girl out until after Super Bowl Sunday. I encourage you not to wait until the last minute to ask your date to be your Valentine, or you might find out that she’s made other plans.

RELATED: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Here’s my side-by-side comparison of the Super Bowl and Valentine’s.

Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year.

Meanwhile, across the hall, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day. With these two major events just over one week apart, it’s obvious that the Super Bowl for men is revered in the same way as Valentine’s Day is for women. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women?

Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. It’s the end of the season and the two best teams go for the ring.

Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything, for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or any day after. Guys, if you’re playing the field on mobile dating apps or flirting on Tinder and Bumble, if you don’t ask our your digital crush, you lose. Game over.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say I love you for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’ It’s on the digital wish list for women, period.

Are you Prepared for Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day?

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue to view the game at and with whom they would like to spend watching the teams battle it out. Women like to be prepared. They start giving little hints out a month in advance about their favorite romantic restaurant, post photos of jewelry or trinkets on instagram and facebook, all with the hope the the guy they’re dating will take the cue and book a reservation before their favorite eatery is fully booked.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed, but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau, or someone she is dating ,doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it. Expect a breakup or a big confrontation.

RELATED: 10 Valentine’s Date Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her “number one guy” will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the dating totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to both of you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, we’re here to help.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl and do you love, or hate Valentine’s Day?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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