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7 Ways to Find a Date By Valentine’s Day

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one month away, and it’s countdown time for romance.

Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love by Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Search for events on Eventbrite, Facebook, and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from last year, or even six month ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos from a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find your favorite photos that got the most likes on Facebook or Instagram, and add them to your profile. If you got a new puppy add a cute photo of your four-legged friend to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot.

RELATED: What to Do if He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

3. Start Swiping! Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average three mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years! Connect your instagram feed or spotify account to your mobile profile, so people can see exactly what you look like now, and know your musical taste.

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

It’s peak season, now through Valentine’s Day, with Sunday being one of the most popular days for onlien daters. I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when your digital crush sends you a message!

Upgrade during peak times and rush hour for just a few dollars to a premium service on sites such as OkCupid and Match.

Use the “Boost” feature on Tinder to appear at the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Flirting on Facebook? If so, you’re not alone. Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

RELATED: Facebook Love Stories: Showcasing Tales of Romance and Dishing Out Tips for Dating on Social Media

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo, and over 50% of singles have tried to get back together with an ex. Go ahead and send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

RELATED: How to Get Back Together With Your Ex

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

5 Tips to ROCK Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday - Cyber Dating Expert

What’s all the buzz about Dating Sunday?

With the New Year and love on the minds of many singles, Match and other dating sites have predicted the first Sunday after New Year’s as the busiest time of the year for activity. The EXACT time you should be logging on for love is at 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT.

Area you ready for the world’s largest digital love fest?

RELATED: Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on ABC News on Dating Sunday

Here are some tips to make the most of Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday Tip #1: Don’t be Shy: I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal,” so go ahead and make the first move. Check out who has viewed your profile and reply back the same day. If you don’t respond, someone else will.

Dating Sunday Tip #2. Get Ready to Push. Log onto your mobile dating app profile and check your settings. Make sure your push notifications are set to ON, so you’ll get notified if your digital crush responds to you and then start swiping, big time.

Dating Sunday Tip #3. Upload New Photos and Smile! It’s a new year, so replace your existing profile photos with some new fun shots. The built-in cameras are terrific on mobile phones now, so have a friend help take new photos of you, or hire a professional to look your best. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we have photographers we work with and we’ll make sure your profile is date-worthy when we create your Irresistible Profile.

Dating Sunday Tip #4. Log On Frequently. Your soulmate can’t find you if you’re invisible. Log on twice daily to keep your profile active, especially in the evening during peak traffic hours, and take time to see who has viewed your profile or liked your photos.

Dating Sunday Tip #5: Fill Your Bucket List. Match has a great feature called, the bucket list, where you can list the things you’ve been dreaming about doing. If you like hiking, say you hike on weekends, but would love to hike Mt. Kilamanjaro someday. You might not make it to the top of the mountain, but you will easily fill your date card with those who also enjoy hiking. If you’d love to go on a safari in Africa, add it to your bucket list. You might meet someone who’s been there and can’t wait to show you his or her photos, or better yet, you just might end up there with someone you meet online.

Singles will be looking for love online in record numbers, exactly at 8:55pm/ET on Sunday, January 7th. Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and peak season is happening now, through Valentine’s Day.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

5 Gifts To Impress Your First Date

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sIt’s still possible to find a date for Valentine’s by just popping up your mobile dating apps.  Turn on your push notifications and be bold and agree to meet on Valentine’s Day.

With that in mind, if you score a date, what are you supposed to do about a gift? Should you give anything at all? Our guest blogger Michelle G.,CRS® offers these tips for Valentine’s gift ideas for a 1st time date.


Valentine’s Day reignites the conversation of whether a first date gift is appropriate. Some argue that it may be a bit “cheesy” to show your softer side on a first date, while others may feel the fear of their gift being rejected. My recommendation is to do what feels right for you.

In today’s competitive dating landscape, it’s all about the little details to help you stand out from the crowd. The rule of thumb for choosing a gift is to make your choice based on a previous conversation you had with your date. If you haven’t had a chance to glean any tips on what to gift just yet, here are some foolproof ideas to spark up your first date.

Here are 5 Simple Gifts to Give on a First Date

Flowers1. Flower Bouquet

Who doesn’t love flowers or a gift from nature? Flowers and plants are thoughtful, unisex and not too personal. If you didn’t know, there was a time when flowers where a traditional (and lovely) first date gift every woman loved. Stand out from the crowd, impress your date and start off on the right foot with a bouquet of red roses or white lilies.

P.S. Pick up red tulips from the grocery store. They’re a fraction of the cost of roses and you’ll have the same impact.

RELATED: 3 Online Dating Photos to Avoid this Valentine’s

2. Greeting Card

A thoughtful greeting card with an uplifting or inspirational message can also work miracles when you’re looking to stand out and make an impression on a first date. Your positive spirit can take you places you never thought possible, faster than you could imagine. Everyone can use a little extra cheer in their lives and you could stand out on your first date by turning up your positively with a thoughtful greeting card.

P.S. We love digital cards from JibJab!

Chocolate Chip Cookies3. Baked Goodies

If you’re meeting in a coffee shop, treat your date to a delicious pastry and watch how quickly you can control the ambiance and mood of your date. Be mindful of any food allergies, intolerances (gluten), or sensitivities (dairy) your date might have. You don’t want to inadvertently get them sick. To be sure, wait until they arrive at the coffee shop, ask them if they have a food intolerance, then offer a treat. You’ll be a rockstar for caring!

P.S. Bake some homemade cookies for both of you to share.

 

4. Chocolates

An oldie but a goodie… If you’re not sure what kind of chocolates your date likes, an incognito way of asking is to share insider information about your favorite foods and desserts first before asking them what they like. Then, by the magic of reciprocity, your date will feel compelled to share similar information with you and voilà; you’ll know what types of chocolates he or she likes… Try this simple technique on your next date!

P.S. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac!

RELATED: What do I do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

5. Bottle of Wine

Coda WinesThis is an excellent gift idea for when you want to show off your classier side. In case you feel this is a risky move, just know that wine’s not too “forward” of a gift and it’s well accepted. While you may not know what type of wine your date prefers, it is the thought that counts! The best recommendation when selecting a bottle of wine is to go for a red Cabernet Sauvignon or a refreshing white Pinot.

P.S. You can ramp it up with a bottle of prosecco from the grocery store if you think your date likes bubbles or check out codawines.com, where their wines are inspird by music.

For more Valentine’s Day ideas, read our Valentine’s Day Survival Guide.

Follow @AskMichelleG on Twitter

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

 

What Do I Do If He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day?

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

In this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a single woman is feeling anxious because the guy she’s dating hasn’t asked her out yet for Valentine’s Day. Here’s her question and our answer.

Dear Julie,

I met this great guy online and we’ve gone out on five dates since the New Year. I really like him and we haven’t discussed dating exclusively yet, but I’ve seen him the past two Saturday nights, so I really think I’m becoming his girlfriend.

Should I be worried that he didn’t ask me out yet for Valentine’s Day? It’s next week, so what is he waiting for? Would it be wrong of me to bring it up first? Maybe he was focused on football, but that game is over and I really want to spend Valentine’s with him.

What should I say or do?

Corrine

Dear Corrine,

First of all, congratulations on meeting a great guy online. January is one of the busiest months for online dating and lots of singles are joining dating sites as part of their New Year’s resolutions list.

You didn’t mention if both of you still have ACTIVE dating profiles up or not. I have a feeling you probably do, as if you haven’t had the talk about exclusivity or Valentine’s, he might assume you’re dating other people and he might be doing the same.

Believe it or not, most guys don’t like Valentine’s Day. They think it’s overrated, expensive, and would rather stay home and watch TV. However the romantic and smart ones will know that if they don’t ask you out on the biggest romance day of the week, they’ll be in the dog house and might not get a chance to continue dating you after the 14th. Is this harsh? I think it’s more a matter of tradition.

READ MORE: Why Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

So if you have a dating profile that’s still online and you’d like to see this guy exclusively and hopefully for Valentine’s Day, I urge you NOT to log on.  He and his friends don’t need to see that you’re busy scouring the Internet for potential dates.  How would you feel after a great date with this new guy, if you noticed that he went online right away? Probably not great.

So my best advice is, if you don’t want to date others and really like this guy, then don’t. Take your profile down if you like, but don’t let him know that you did this.  You should do it for yourself, not because you think he has to do the same. He’ll probably notice it, but a man needs to make the decision to be exclusive based on how he feels when he’s with you. If your dates are fun and light and you’re a joy to be around, he’ll notice those red candy boxes everywhere and will probably want to do something with you for Valentine’s Day.

Towards the end of this week, let him know that you really are traditional and love sharing Valentine’s Day with the person you’re dating. Stop and LISTEN to what he says. If he starts to pull back or changes the subject, it might mean he has made other plans. The best thing you could do is not get upset with him. If he asks you out for the 13th or the 15th, reply with, “Oh, I was hoping I’d be your Valentine.”

READ MORE: 7 TIPS TO GET LUCKY IN LOVE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

You’ve only gone out on five dates and that’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy when a relationship is so new. Buy him a cute card, or better yet, there are so many fun cards on JibJab, the animated card site, so send him a humorous card; not something that says, “I love you,” and see how he responds.

The bottom line is, he knows it’s Valentine’s Day, but might not know how special that day is for you. Rather than having him spend a lot of money on a fancy restaurant, why not suggest collaborating on an in-room-dining experience, where each one of you brings or makes a different dish. It’s a great way to bond in a relationship without all of the pressure.

Do you have a question for Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.
Photo credit: Fotolia

Valentine’s Gift Giving for ALL Relationship Stages

Does it always have to be so complicated when giving gifts for  Valentine’s Day?  You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go and the pressure is on.

We’re here to lighten things up for you, so If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps you want to get something for your long-time love, we’ve got you covered, regardless of your relationship status.

READ MORE: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Here’s our Valentine’s gifts cheat sheet for all relationship statuses.

Newly dating – If you’ve only had a few dates and aren’t exclusive yet, bringing her 1 dozen red tulips will brighten her Valentine’s Day. You won’t be splurging for expensive roses or going overboard, but will still have the impact of bringing her flowers. Start her day off by sending her a fun Valentine’s e-card. I’m a big fan of Jib-Jab, where you can customize the card with a photo of yourself or send a video card. Bringing her lingerie sends a message that you’re only looking for sex (who isn’t?), but at this point she should be selecting her her own lingerie. Spending time together will be the best gift, because if you ignore February 14th, don’t expect to see her again on the 15th.

Going Steady – Honeymoon Phase (1-3 months) – If you’ve been dating for a month or two, she’ll be expecting to be your Valentine’s date if geography doesn’t get in the way. At this point, bring her a hand written card (yes the kind you buy in the store), add in a gift certificate for a massage at her favorite spa, or offer to cook her a meal and have in-room-dining and always bring flowers.  Other fun items include sending her a box of chocolate covered strawberries, or bringing a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne. This way you can feed each other when it’s time for dessert and create new memories together.

Getting Serious – Imperfect Phase (4-6 months) – By now you’ve become an item. You might have even changed your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” and have a drawer at her place. When you’re headed towards the half-year mark, she’ll want to receive roses from you, tulips won’t do. There are plenty of great sites online for you to order flowers from, or you can go to your local grocery store to pick up a dozen. When a woman doesn’t get flowers on Valentine’s Day from her guy, she starts to wonder if you’re still swooning over her. If you’ve taken a trip away together, bring her a personalized gift such as a silver framed photo of the two of you to memorialize your vacation together.

READ MORE: Surviving Valentine’s With a Long Distance Love

Sydney evan Love RingTotally in Love – Over 6 months  Once you’re headed towards the one-year mark, it’s time to up the ante in the love department. She’s going to want something very personal. If jewelry is in your budget, getting her a sterling silver heart necklace, trinket, or bracelet from Tiffany & Company, may end up on your list. I’m a HUGE fan of the Sydney Evan LOVE jewelry line and have been seen all over town wearing a love necklace. There are trinkets in all price ranges. For those of you ready to step it up, but aren’t ready to pop the Q, give her a lovely commitment ring or the Sydney Evan LOVE ring that’s been seen on many celebrities.  It will show you have all 10 toes in, without getting engaged or setting a wedding date.

It’s Complicated – The ex and almost ex – If your relationship is winding down or you’ve recently broken up, should you acknowledge someone who you didn’t go the distance with? Studies have shown that 20% of singles actually text an ex on Valentine’s Day. Whatever you do, don’t send mixed messages and send flowers to someone, when you’re in the arms of another. Trust me, it will sting. You can send them a birthday present, congratulate them on their new job, and call them on holidays to say hello. That is acceptable for every holiday, but Valentine’s Day. If you’ve moved on, sending chocolate covered strawberries shouldn’t be on your gift list. The best gift you can give, is the gift of time apart, so you both can move on.

READ MORE: Would You Text an Ex?

What will you be giving as a Valentine’s gift this year?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice 

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook

 

Valentine’s Day for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

Valentine's Day versus the Super BowlIt’s officially Super Bowl week and Valentine’s Day is two weeks from today.

As we count down the days to Super Bowl 51 (LI) at NRG Stadium in Houston. Stadium, whether you’re rooting for the New England Patriots or the Atlanta Falcons, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

Women often wonder if men hate Valentine’s Day and are sending roses and buying them chocolate just to stay out of the doghouse.  Men want to know if the girls are authentically cheering for their favorite team and if they really like sports at all, or are they there just to see Lady Gaga perform in the half time show.

In other words, most men don’t want to be distracted by women while watching the game, unless they’re viewing the cheerleaders on TV.  Guys wait all year for this day and romance is put on hold until one team gets the ring.

This year, the Super Bowl Sunday and Valentine’s Day are nine days apart. Some decide to celebrate the holiday over the weekend before, on February 10-12th and others pony up the price fixe menu at a romantic restaurant, because they know if you’re not together on Valentine’s Day, there will be an explosion, and it won’t be when you’re under the sheets.

Valentine’s Day is the Super Bowl of Dating

I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men. It’s a double-header, so enjoy the ride. Most guys won’t even make a dinner reservation or ask a girl out until after Super Bowl Sunday. I encourage you not to wait until the last minute to ask your date to be your Valentine, or you might find out that she’s made other plans.

RELATED: Valentine’s Countdown: How to Land a Date

Here’s my side-by-side comparison of the Super Bowl and Valentine’s.

Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year.

Meanwhile, across the hall, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day. With these two major events just over one week apart, it’s obvious that the Super Bowl for men is revered in the same way as Valentine’s Day is for women. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women?

Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. It’s the end of the season and the two best teams go for the ring.

Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything, for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or any day after. Guys, if you’re playing the field on mobile dating apps or flirting on Tinder and Bumble, if you don’t ask our your digital crush, you lose. Game over.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say I love you for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’ It’s on the digital wish list for women, period.

Are you Prepared for Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day?

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue to view the game at and with whom they would like to spend watching the teams battle it out. Women like to be prepared. They start giving little hints out a month in advance about their favorite romantic restaurant, post photos of jewelry or trinkets on instagram and facebook, all with the hope the the guy they’re dating will take the cue and book a reservation before their favorite eatery is fully booked.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed, but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau, or someone she is dating ,doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it. Expect a breakup or a big confrontation.

RELATED: 10 Valentine’s Date Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her “number one guy” will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the dating totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to both of you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, we’re here to help.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl and do you love, or hate Valentine’s Day?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Valentine’s Survival Guide

It’s Valentine’s week and time once again to publish our annual Cyber Dating Expert Valentine’s Day Survival Guide.  Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday, so get ready for 3-4 days of like or love and everything red in between.

At Cyber-Dating Expert HQ we’ve been hard at work putting together everything you need to have the perfect Valentine’s Day.  From date ideas, to gifts that won’t break the bank, and even how to fill your date card in time for Valentine’s with the best mobile dating apps.

Without further digital ado, here’s our Cyber-Dating Expert Survival Guide.

How To Pimp Your Profile for Valentine’s Day

Watch this video to hear Julie share her thoughts on the best online dating profile tips with Andre Senior from ABC 13 News Now.

Valentine’s Gifts for Every Relationship Stage

We know the pressure of Valentine’s is on. You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go. If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps want to get something for your long-time love, gift selection can be confusing, regardless of your relationship status. [Read more]

25 New Valentine’s Day Ideas

From going ice skating with your love to a scavenger hunt filled with fun and loving surprises on the way, or even visiting a brewery together, we’ve got a ton of creative date ideas to impress your date. [Read more]

What to Do on Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

Keep swiping! If you’re single, and on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Happn or other mobile dating apps, stay in and see who you can meet through your mobile phone. You never know who you could end up scheduling a date with for the day after Valentine’s Day. [Read more]

Why Valentine’s for Women is Like the Super Bowl for Men

Now that the Super Bowl is over, it’s time for the Super Bowl of Dating. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say “I love you” for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Relationship.” [Read more]

Could Your Valentine Be Just A Click Away? Life After 50 Magazine

Dating over 50? Read our featured article in Life After 50 magazine filled with tips on how to join a dating site, create an irresistible profile, and start filling your date card. [Read article]

10 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

From taking a dance lesson or cooking class, to going to a wine tasting or amusement park, here are 10 ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your significant other that are great for daters on a budget. [Read more]

How To Land a Date for Valentine’s Day

Start searching for love by logging on to dating sites every day leading up to Valentine’s Day and keep swiping right. You can also try attending singles events in your area in the hopes of finding a potential date. More in our article on how to land a date for Valentine’s weekend. [Read more]

Signs Your Relationship Is Ripe For A Valentine’s Day Breakup

We know many relationships don’t go the distance, but a Valentine’s breakup can hurt, big time. Here are some signs that your relationship is headed towards an end. If you’re not feeling the relationship, you’ll stop texting them as much as you usually do. If they feel similar, they’ll do the same. [Read more]

Related: Peril of the Week – The Valentine’s Breakup

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Perils of Cyber-DatingNewly released: Our completely revised edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Now available as an audio book in Audible and on Kindle. Listen to the magical epilogue with the fairy tale ending to help you believe in love.

Valentine’s Gifts for Every Relationship Stage

Is gift giving for Valentine’s always complicated? We know the pressure of Valentine’s is on. You can’t help but notice the red candy boxes everywhere you go.

If you’re wondering what to get the new person you just started dating for Valentine’s Day, or perhaps want to get something for your long-time love, gift selection can be confusing, regardless of your relationship status.

Here’s our Valentine’s gifts cheat sheet for all relationship statuses.

Newly dating – If you’ve only had a few dates and aren’t exclusive yet, bringing her 1 dozen red tulips will brighten her Valentine’s Day. You won’t be splurging for expensive roses or going overboard, but will still have the impact of bringing her flowers. Start her day off by sending her a fun Valentine’s e-card. I’m a big fan of Jib-Jab, where you can customize the card with a photo of yourself or send a video card. Bringing her lingerie sends a message that you’re only looking for sex (who isn’t?), but at this point she should be selecting her her own lingerie. A gift card for a mani/pedi will always be appreciated.

Going Steady – Honeymoon Phase (1-3 months) – If you’ve been dating for a month or two, she’ll be expecting to be your Valentine’s date if geography doesn’t get in the way. At this point, bring her a gift certificate for a massage at her favorite spa, offer to cook her a meal and have in-room-dining and bring flowers.  Other fun items include sending her a box of chocolate covered strawberries, or bringing a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne. This way you can feed each other when it’s time for dessert.

Getting Serious – Imperfect Phase (4-6 months) – By now you’ve become an item. You might have even changed your Facebook relationship status to “In a Relationship” and have a drawer at her place. When you’re headed towards the half-year mark, she’ll want to receive roses from you. There are plenty of great sites online for you to order flowers from, or you can go to your local grocery store to pick up a dozen. When a woman doesn’t get flowers on Valentine’s Day, she starts to wonder if you’re still swooning over her. If you’ve taken a trip away together, bring her a personalized gift such as a silver framed photo of the two of you to memorialize your vacation together.

Totally in Love – Over 6 months  Once you’re headed towards the one-year mark, it’s time to up the ante in the love department. She’s going to want something very personal. If jewelry is in your budget, getting her a sterling silver heart necklace, trinket, or bracelet from Tiffany & Company, may end up on your list. If it’s too pricey, you can order a less expensive one on Amazon to show her that you care. For those of you ready to step it up, but aren’t ready to pop the Q, give her a lovely commitment ring. It will show you have all 10 toes in, without getting engaged or setting a wedding date.

It’s Complicated – The ex and almost ex – If your relationship is winding down or you’ve recently broken up, should you acknowledge someone who you didn’t go the distance with? Studies have shown that 20% of singles actually text an ex on Valentine’s Day. Whatever you do, don’t send mixed messages and send flowers to someone, when you’re in the arms of another. Trust me, it will sting. You can send them a birthday present, congratulate them on their new job, and call them on holidays to say hello. That is acceptable for every holiday, but Valentine’s Day. If you’ve moved on, sending chocolate covered strawberries shouldn’t be on your gift list. The best gift you can give, is the gift of time, so you both can move on.

What will you be giving as a Valentine’s gift this year?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

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Why the Super Bowl for Men is Like Valentine’s for Women

Valentine's Day versus the Super BowlIt’s officially Super Bowl week.

As we count down the days to Super Bowl 50 at Levi Stadium, whether you’re rooting for the Denver Broncos or the Carolina Panthers, one thing is for sure, it’s going to be an emotional and exciting two weeks for both men and women alike.

Women often wonder if men hate Valentine’s Day. Guys really want to know if women are cheering for their favorite team, or are they there just for the half time show.

This year, the Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day are exactly one week apart. Women get a bonus, as Valentine’s is on a three-day holiday weekend. Yes indeed. You can be romantic Friday, February 12th through Monday, February 15th with no excuses.

Valentine’s Day is the Super Bowl of Dating

I’ve gone on record as saying the Valentine’s Day for Women is like the Super Bowl for Men. It’s a double-header, so enjoy the ride. Most guys won’t even make a dinner reservation or ask a girl out until after Super Bowl Sunday. I encourage you not to wait until the last minute to ask your date to be your Valentine.

RELATED: HOW TO LAND A DATE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

Here’s my side-by-side comparison of the Super Bowl and Valentine’s. 

Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day for most American men. It’s showtime as most guys count down the days, hours, and even minutes to their favorite television day of the year.

Meanwhile, across the hall, women have their own favorite holiday to think about, Valentine’s Day. With these two major events exactly one week apart, it’s obvious that the Super Bowl for men is revered in the same way as Valentine’s Day is for women. Whether you’re a sports fan or a hopeless romantic, comparing the two will help you understand how important these days are for the opposite sex.

Why do I think the Super Bowl for men is like Valentine’s Day for women?

Quite simply, both men and women put all of their emotional energies into these two bigger-than-life events. Often, a woman doesn’t understand why watching two teams trying to score is so important to her guy. He just can’t miss this game. It’s the end of the season and the two best teams go for the ring.

Guys on the other hand, simply don’t understand that if you’re dating a woman and forget to plan something, just anything, for Valentine’s Day, you probably won’t get a date with her on February 15th, or shortly after. Guys, if you’re playing the field on mobile dating apps or flirting on Tinder, if you don’t ask our your digital crush, you lose. Game over.

Men wait all year for the Super Bowl, this big day in television. Women wait for Valentine’s Day, with the hope that their special guy will either propose, offer to take his online dating profile down, or say I love you for the first time. Women even secretly hope that the guy they are dating might want to change his Facebook status from ‘Single’ to ‘In a Relationship.’ It’s on the digital wish list for women, period.

Are you Prepared for Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day?

Men are very prepared for the Super Bowl. They decide which venue to view the game at and with whom they would like to spend watching the teams battle it out. Women like to be prepared. They will start giving little hints out a month in advance about their favorite romantic restaurant, with the hopes the the guy they are dating will take the cue and book a reservation before their favorite eatery is fully booked.

However in contrast, when a man’s favorite team loses the Super Bowl, he will be disappointed, but will get over it. He’ll know there’s another chance next year and will spend the entire football season rooting for his team. If a woman’s favorite beau or someone she is dating doesn’t ask her out for Valentine’s Day, she won’t get over it.

RELATED: 10 VALENTINE’S DATE IDEAS THAT WON’T BREAK THE BANK

She’ll assume he’s romancing another woman and will know she’s not on the top of his list. Chances are, his shelf life as her “number one guy” will immediately expire. Unless he’s out of town on business or in a long-distance relationship, he won’t get another chance to romance her. No woman wants to be at the bottom of the dating totem pole, especially on Valentine’s Day. Expect to be unfriended, or don’t be surprised if she doesn’t return your phone calls or texts.

So whether you like football or not, love or hate Valentine’s Day, remember to talk to the person you are dating about what these days mean to both of you. If you’re single, use this opportunity to accept all invitations for both the Super Bowl and Valentine’s singles mixers. Even if your team loses and you’re dateless on the 14th, you’ll be casting a wider net and expanding your social circle.

Go ahead and accept that Super Bowl party invitation. If you’re single, you just might find a date in time for Valentine’s as well. It’s a win-win for everyone. If you need help with your profile or online dating advice, we’re here to help.

Related: Social Media Rules for Valentine’s Day

Which team will you be rooting for this Super Bowl?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, sign up for our Weekly Flirt and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

JUST RELEASED: Our 2nd edition of The Perils of Cyber-Dating is now available on Kindle and as an audio book, narrated by the author.

Listen to our book trailer here.

10 Valentine’s Date Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

Valentine's Dating IdeasIf you’re wondering what to do for Valentine’s Day and are on a budget,  we’ve come up with 10 out-of-the-box, fun and creative Valentine’s Day things to do with your significant other or date.

If the idea of buying a box of chocolates and one dozen roses sounds so cliché to you, you’ll enjoy these activities, regardless of your relationship status.

Let’s help you make it an evening, or weekend to remember.

1. Take a Dance Class Dancing to tango music can be very romantic. Dress up for the occasion and find a class near you. If tango isn’t your style, try salsa or hip-hop as an alternative. It will get your body moving and can get you in the mood for a romantic and memorable evening. Even if you can’t find a class anywhere, take your Valentine dancing at a local spot with live music anyway!

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2. Create a Digital Scavenger HuntWe know you’re attached to your mobile phones and tablets (it’s okay, so are we), so create a little mystery with your very own personalized scavenger hunt. Not sure where to start? Begin the day with a “Happy Valentine’s Day” text and send the first clue. When she arrives at the destination, send her a second clue requesting a Skype or FaceTime chat where you can wish each other a Happy Valentine’s Day, video style. Third, send another text message on where you’d like her to go next. Have her pampered with a manicure or pedicure to get ready for your big date night, or even send her to a spa for a relaxing massage. Fourth, at the end of the day, post a lovey picture of the two of you on her Facebook page for her and her friends to ‘like.’ Finally, send her a digital invitation with the exact location for your Valentine’s date. Remember to take photos along the way and share them on all of your social media accounts so everyone can see how you celebrated with you love.

Related: How to Land a Date for Valentine’s

3. Go Ice Skating.  Whether it’s ice-skating or roller-skating, take your Valentine to the closest rink in town. You’ll find yourselves reminiscing about your childhood memories, while you get a little physical activity. Remember to catch her if she falls!

4. Book His-and-Her Massages.  Having warm oil massaged into your body is surely a treat. If your relationship hasn’t moved in that direction yet, book Swedish massages for the two of you in separate rooms, so you both can enjoy the experience and compare notes afterwards and say hello to relaxation.

5. Go Wine TastingMany local wine bars allow you to stop by and taste several options before deciding on your favorite selection. Take your date to a bar known for their wine tastings, where you both can get a wine card for samples and compare notes. At the end of the night, buy him or her their new favorite bottle for the two of you to share on another date night.

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6. Enjoy In-Room Dining.  If you’ve waited until the last minute and realize that your date’s favorite restaurant is already booked, no need to fret! Pretend you’re on vacation and opt for an in-room dining alternative. You can take care of the appetizers and main course, but ask your date for input on the dessert the menu. Create great ambiance with candles, music, rose petals, and perhaps a bouquet of red tulips, if roses aren’t in your budget. After that romantic dinner, there’s not need to get a room. You’re already there.

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Related: Would you Text and Ex for Valentine’s

7. Make it About Music. There’s something uber romantic about sharing music with the one you love (or like). Plus, Shakespeare said, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Make your Valentine’s a night of music.   Buy your Valentine a music CD or create a playlist, then stay in and watch a recorded concert on TV. Download a mobile app where you can name that tune and see who wins.Make a music playlist for him or her as a gift, then go out to hear some live music together. If your date’s favorite band might be playing in the near future, surprise them and pick up some tickets as a gift. Hello Coachella and Stagecoach! If the show is months away, watch some live concerts on TV together and download some music to listen to together, so you can get pumped for the concert.

8. Go to an Amusement Park.  There’s something romantic about riding the Ferris wheel,  especially when it stops and you’re feeling like you’re on top of the world. Remember to kiss your Valentine when you’re staring at the stars together. Then hold your date tight as you ride the roller coaster together. Show them you’re there to protect him or her. Snap some photos and post them on Instagram (with permission from your date).

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9. Take a Cooking Class.  Guys actually enjoy being creative in the kitchen. It helps with relaxation, so take him to a cooking class, where the two of you can whip up a fancy meal. Find a place to go for dessert together, with your menus in hand and order chocolate. It’s the ultimate aphrodisiac.

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10. Go to a Fortune Teller or Psychic.  He love me, he loves me not? Stop by a fortune teller or card reader with your Valentine to see what the future will hold. Don’t worry, you don’t need to kiss-and-tell after your turn.

P.S. Take your profile down before Valentine’s Day. It’s a leap of good faith that will help you have a Happy Valentine’s Day.

How will you be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year?

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and is the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie and her team create Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more relationship advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt Newsletter and follow @Julie Spira on Instagram and Twitter.

View our book trailer for The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, NEWLY REVISED with a magical epilogue and Bonus Audio Dating Advice.

 

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