When the phone rings and someone calls to say they’re heartbroken and can’t imagine their life without the person who is gone, it’s my job to give them hope and to explain how the heart does heal in time.
Today’s quote was inspired by a coaching call with a woman who said her heart was completely broken. It had been shattered and she couldn’t imagine how she could go on with such an empty heart.
I explained to her that the heart fills up and depletes on a daily basis. You see the heart can’t be completely empty, or you wouldn’t have the ability to love your children, family, and friends at all if this was the case. You wouldn’t even be able to breathe, but you still can.
The heart fills up and depletes on a daily basis
The heart can be overflowing with love and joy when you first meet someone and you’re in the honeymoon phase. It’s so exciting you feel like it’s about to burst. Although it feels that way, it will not be bursting. You will be in a state of euphoria and often it’s temporary, for even those we love with all of our hearts, we go through phases of questioning the relationship, phases of disappointment or resentment when our needs aren’t being met, and then bounce back when we are in a state of joy again. It’s like a wave. There’s an ebb and flow to the wave as it comes crashing into the shore, each time reaching a different point on the sand or rocks.
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When it comes to matters of the heart, all forms of logic are tossed out the window. The stage of first love, early love and the pitter-patter of the heart feelings are real and when they are experienced, there’s nothing better.
So if you find that your relationship isn’t as fulfilling and that your heart is questioning it, it’s natural. Every day doesn’t have an overflowing heart, but it should have an appreciative heart. One that allows you to grow with an individual and to grow on your own.
You see, people are falling in love over and over again with their partner. There are different types of love, whether it’s lust, friendship, companionship, romantic love, or a deep passion. All of these types of feelings do exist with the same person. If a relationship can’t move past the three week or three month mark, then you were really existing in the lust phase only.
The heart is meant to last and move.
You see the heart is meant to last and move. It beats. You breathe in and you breathe out. Sometimes you can’t imagine anyone else in your life but the person you love or loved so deeply. Other times you wonder how any one person can decide on how full your heart should be. That’s more realistic.
The point here is when you’re unsure of your relationship or if your heart is hurting, know that it is temporary. The universe is like a vacuum. In time, the heart will fill up again. For some slowly, for others it can be rather quickly.
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To achieve the ultimate feeling of love, let the heart fill with your own personal joy to the point that anyone who joins you in this game of life is joining your already fully loved heart. Keep smiling as that will attract new people to you. Know that you are always loved, even when you’re not sure you’re feeling it.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo
P.S. If you need some hand holding, find out how Irresistible Coaching can help you get back on the dating saddle.
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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades. For dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
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Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. She's an award-winning dating coach who's been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.
