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Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day:

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” ~Oscar Wilde

Qauote of the Day

The beginning of romance is exciting. Going on a first date can be nerve-wracking, as you aren’t sure if you’ll get to a second date or have any romantic chemistry.

Oscar Wilde knew this years before digital dating, texting, and mobile phones, yet the feelings still hold true.

Be open to the possibilities while dating and let the anticipation be something to embrace.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

xo Julie Spira, Online Dating Expert

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Memorial Weekend Promo for Irresistible Profiles

4th of July Cyber Dating ExpertMemorial weekend is just around the corner and we’ve decided at Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters to give you a jump start to finding summer love by offering 20% off of two of our popular coaching plans, Going Steady and Totally in Love.

Now is the perfect time if you’re single to work with a dating coach and to meet America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker, Julie Spira.

Save up to $400 if you order these online dating coaching profile packages.

But hurry, this offer if only valid from Wednesday, May 25th to Friday, May 27th.

Sign up here by clicking the red links below

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Don’t you want to find love in time for the summer? I thought so.

*Coaching programs are non-refundable and require 24 hours advance notice to reschedule

Looking to get Hitched? These 1st Messages Lead to Marriage

Do you have dreams of being a June bride or groom?

Have you ever wondered what the secret is to turning digital love into eternal love?

It appears the answer lies in the first message you send to your online crush.

In a recent study, our friends at PlentyOfFish surveyed over 1,000 of their former users in the United States who are now married to their partners whom they met online. They shared with us what made them think they’d found “the one.”

You Had Me At “Hello”

In their survey results, POF found two common first messages respondents received. The most popular first message (17%) highlighted something in a user’s profile that caught their crush’s eye.

The second?

“Hey, what’s up?”

This may be a sign we should rethink looking past this simple message, as it could turn into something long term.

first message

Respondents also said they kept things relatively simple for their first date. The most popular first date among the married couples surveyed was dinner, followed by coffee or drinks, and finished up with an evening stroll.

How Long Until You Know They’re “The One?”

When it came to the first date, men fell hard for their dates faster than women.

More men also reported falling in love at first sight  (17%) than women (11%).

Overall, 40% of respondents said they knew they found “The One” after only a few weeks. Sometimes you just know.

The one

Most Online Daters Are True Romantics

An impressive majority of POF users stated they believed in soulmates, with over 76% of married respondents agreeing (72% of men and 78% of women).

soulmates

Final Advice From the Happy Couples

POF asked the respondents their best piece of advice they wish someone had told them during their online dating days.

Most of the couples said they wished they had said “yes” to more dates, sent and replied to more messages, and allowed themselves to have more fun (22%).

The most popular piece of advice (44%) the would have given themselves is to ditch the idea of having a “type” online. You never know, by expanding your type and opening up your preferences in a significant other, you could end up meeting someone you never would have met otherwise!

advice for dating online

Are you looking for love online?

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

5 Social Media Apps to Help You Find Love

Looking for love online can be challenging and tedious.

Sometimes you’ll find yourself getting burnt out with online dating or tired of swiping right or left on your mobile phone.

When you’ve tried every mobile dating app and website out there and feel you’ve exhausted all of your options when nothing works out, it’s time to switch things up a little and move on to something a bit more unconventional.

The next best place to find a great date online is through your social media accounts, where you’re hanging your digital hat more often.

That’s right, by dating and flirting using Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, you can connect with friends, long lost friends (and loves), and even friends of friends.

Related: Love Reunited: Our Second Chance at Love

Aside from the most popular social media sites, there are a few you might be missing. Here’s a list of five non-traditional dating apps to help you find a new digital crush.

Yelp1. Yelp

Yelp is an extremely social website and easily allows you to connect with singles in your area. All you have to do is search for your favorite bar or restaurant and scroll through the reviews until you find a particular reviewer that piques your interest. Yelp allows you to look at reviewers’ profile pages, which is good for finding out a little more about your potential crush. If you find someone who looks interesting to you, send them a message through Yelp and you could just end up on a date at that bar you both reviewed!

Available on Desktop, iOS, Android

GolfMatch2. GolfMatch

This new app is designed to help golf lovers connect to each other and go golfing together. GolfMatch helps you find like-minded golfers at local courses to share your experiences with. You can even set up a golf game within the app! You can find golfers you’re compatible with based on age, skill level, location and home courses. Your profile will display all of your posts and your golfing background, and you can even post pictures and videos of your golf experiences – think of it like Instagram for golfers!

Available on iOS

Snapchat3. Snapchat

Snapchat is a fun messaging app for sharing moments with your friends. You can take photos or videos, add a captions, and send it to a friend or add it to your Story to share with all of your friends. Snaps sent directly to friends can last up to 10 seconds, while posts on your Story last up to 24 hours. Snapchat may not seem like a conventional way to find love, considering most of the people you may have on Snapchat are your friends, but just think about if a friend of yours has ever posted or sent you a Snap and you noticed someone cute in the background…what would have happened if you’d Snapped them back and asked for that person’s name? Maybe they would’ve added you on Snapchat if they were single and thought you were cute too. You never know until you try!

Available on iOS and Android

Related: 5 Dating Apps That Aren’t Tinder

Yik-Yak4. Yik Yak

Popular on college campuses, Yik Yak is a free social networking app that lets users post brief comments to a message board accessible by any user within a 5 mile radius. The app is completely anonymous and you don’t have to create an account to use it. Yik Yak is perfect for missed connections! Maybe you walked past someone cute on campus, you smiled at each other and kept walking, but you noticed they were wearing a shirt supporting your favorite sports team and wanted to connect. Post a “Yak” and say “To the girl wearing a Dodgers shirt I walked past in the quad earlier, I thought you were really cute. Wanna meet in the same place tomorrow to grab coffee?” You might think this wouldn’t work, but Yik Yak does have some success with unintentionally helping potential couples meet up through the help of the Yik Yak community.

Available on iOS and Android

Venmo5. Venmo

Andy Verderosa from Thrillist says that “In addition to being one of the most game-changing apps of the last half-decade, Venmo boasts arguably the best social feed on any network.” Venmo allows you to send and receive money with friends quickly and without charging you a fee, making it easy to split dinner, send a birthday gift, pay your roommate for bills, or pay friends back for buying you drinks.

The platform operates like a social media feed and shows you your friends interactions with each other, as well as with their friends that you don’t know. Switch over to your friend feed and look at interactions between friends of friends. When you find someone that suits your fancy, check to make sure they’re in your area, then send them a private transaction. The only way to message someone is by sending them money, so you’ll have to send them a small amount (maybe enough for them to buy coffee), then say they caught your eye and you were wondering if they’d be interested in meeting. There’s always the possibility they could deny you, but at least you tried! And you can always get it refunded they turn you down, just make sure you set the transaction to private so that all of your friends don’t see your attempts in case it doesn’t go well.

Available on iOS and Android

At the end of the digital day, any social media platform can be a dating platform if you like. Just remember to be respectful toward others and make sure you don’t come across as weird or creepy. Also, keep in mind, you might not know someone’s relationship status from these sites and they might not have an interest in being approached anyway.

Don’t get your feelings hurt if they don’t respond or if they turn you down – just keep trying again.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been coaching singles for over two decades.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Julie Spira Talks Online Dating With Charles Tendell

Ask the Cyber-Dating ExpertIf you missed our radio interview on “Hacked” on the Charles Tendell show on Denver’s Talk Radio 1690 KDMT in Denver, here’s the replay for your listening pleasure.

In this one hour segment I provided tips for online dating profiles, safety, how to spot a “catfish” and how to create an irresistible online dating profile to find your dream date.

Listen Here

You’ll hear how I told Charles the story of how I became the pioneer of online dating, even before the days of Match and eHarmony. I also provided listeners with tips to be successful with Internet dating with the enormous amount of members flocking to dating sites and mobile apps.

Since many singles are looking for a different type relationship, whether it’s a long-term relationship, or casual dating, we discussed which sites are the best for you. Is Tinder just for hookups? Hear my explanation.

For the best online dating advice, I do recommend truth-in-advertising, as these days daters are hopping over to Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram, and other social networking sites to see if your photos and profiles match up.

Read the full transcript here:

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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Almost 1/2 Women Dating Online are Single Moms

Mother's Day SurveyIt’s Mother’s Day weekend and time to take a digital peek at the single mother’s who are dating online and what their kids think of their dates.

If you think being a single mom reduces your chance of finding love online, this is a misconception among many others. Read on.

According to dating site PlentyOfFish, a survey of their users revealed that 44% of women dating on the Internet are single moms and their reasons for going online and what they’re looking for may surprise you. With almost 28% of single moms admitting they’ve been dating online for over three years, this survey states that they might not be looking for a knight in white armor.

What’s exciting for single moms, it is turns out they’re finding love 10% faster than women without children at home. Does this mean you should post photos of your children in your online dating profile?

As an online dating expert and dating coach, I’m not a fan of having your children appear as your primary profile photo, but believe it’s important to state within the text portion of your profile that you’re proud of your children (and list their ages). It turns out that an overwhelming 76% of single moms do indeed mention their children and/or post photos of them in their profiles.

According to POF:

Like many online daters, single mothers are looking for partners they can relate to. Accordingly, they are 3.4 times more likely to date a single father than childless women are. In contrast, single moms are half as likely to date childless men as women with no children are.

But what do the kids have to say about their mom’s dates?
According to POF, 63% of moms said they’d consider their child’s disapproval of a potential partner as a major red flag or a deal-breaker.

Related: 10 Mother’s Day Quotes to Warm Your Heart

POF Mother's Day Survey - Chart 3 - updated

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other key findings include:

  • 1.2% are interested in meeting a clone of their ex, while 60.28% said they didn’t have a type.
  • 51.81% will introduce their date to their children once they are in a monogamous relationship.
  • 54.98% said that with their busy schedule, there was no time to meet anyone anywhere else.
  • 53.99% said that online dating allowed them to get to know someone without sacrificing time with their kid(s).
  • 56.97% are dating online to find a partnership, as compared to less than 1% who are looking for financial support.
  • 62.29% will go online whenever they can find a spare second, followed by weekday nights when their kids are asleep.

On this Mother’s Day, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. To find out how you can have an Irresistible Online Dating Profile, visit CyberDatingExpert.com and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice.

New App Lets You Swipe For Your Favorite Movies

Instead of spending your time just swiping to find love on your phone, now you can swipe to find your new favorite show to watch with your digital crush.

A new app called MightyTV has been dubbed the “Tinder for TV” by the Daily Mail, because it gives users the ability to “swipe away the frustration of what to watch next.”

But what’s so great about MightyTV compared to streaming services like Netflix? Well, MightyTV uses artificial intelligence to learn your personal preferences as you swipe through their selections. The AI is so good, that it learns your preference after 100 swipes and continues to get smarter at recommendations the more you swipe.

Related: 5 Dating Apps that Aren’t Tinder

According to the Daily Mail, the app was created by an ex-Google employee named Bryan Adams, who’s been trying to figure out a way to make discovery easier. Since people spend so much of their time searching for what to watch and less time streaming what they love, the MightyTV app solves this problem and is perfect for date night.

MIghtyTVHow to Use MightyTV App

  1. Download the app, create a profile, and begin swiping!
  2. The app will start to recognize your preferences and make suggestions specifically tailored to movies and TV shows you’re interested in.
  3. After creating your profile, you select which streaming services you have an account with (Netflix, Amazon Video, Hulu, HBO Go, Showtime, etc.).
  4. MightyTV will let you know which streaming service to use to watch the titles you’ve swiped right on.

Currently, MightyTV offers 11,000 videos in its inventory and is looking to grow over time with the goal to create a more personal experience centered around behavior and personal taste, versus genre-based suggestions. The app also aims to be predictive about what a user wants to watch instead of basing suggestions on what the user has previously watched.

Related: Bumble Dating App Now Helps You Find Your BFF

“We’re not trying to figure out if you love rom coms and then hit you with a lot of rom coms,” Bryan Adams said to AdExchanger. “We’re trying to create an individual taste profile for each person who uses it.”

This could also be a step to reuniting couples who’ve stopped watching TV together because they can’t decide what to watch. A feature called Mashup allows up to 10 people to combine opinions and swipe together. Mashup takes everyone’s preferences and places them all into a collective video playlist full of titles relevant to the group’s interests. This is perfect for couples, and even groups of friends, who have trouble agreeing what to watch find something that interests them both.

Keep swiping on your dating apps and start swiping on MightyTV, and you might just find a new digital crush AND a new show to fall in love with.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter

Find out how Swiping Right and other Dating Apps will help YOU find LOVE

Quote of the Day

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Quote of the Day

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” ~Albert Ellis

I’ve always said, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” There’s so much truth to that with online dating or mobile dating apps. There’s a fine line between being needy and sending too many emails, to checking in again with someone who didn’t respond a week or two later.

You see, women get bombarded with emails and messages from guys. Guys know that, so they send a large quantity of messages or swipe right on just about everyone since it’s a numbers game.

The way it works, is to be proactive with your love life. Don’t sit around and wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to appear and sweep you off your feet. Give someone a chance if they make the effort to try to get your attention. Even if there’s no chemistry with them, you might make a new friend or perhaps can introduce hi or her to someone you know who would be a better fit.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @Julie Spira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how our Irresistible Profiles Dating Coaching Programs will help YOU find love.

Read our bestselling book, recently revised on Kindle and Audible

How to Use Swipe the Vote on Tinder to Find Your Candidate

Swipe hte VotePolitics and love. It can be a winning combination or a highly charged debate while on a date.

Tinder has now partnered with Rock The Vote, a non-profit organization with the goal of getting young singles to vote. Their new campaign, “Swipe the Vote” will pop up while swiping on the Tinder mobile app and will ask users to answer 10 questions to help you decide if you’re on the fence.

Tinder stated on their blog that they’ve “been amazed by the amount of users expressing their political views with matches during this presidential campaign.”

“After all, millennials should play a big role in deciding who our next president is,” the company wrote on its blog.

How to Use the Swipe the Vote Feature on Tinder

  1. Log on to Tinder or set up a new account by downloading the app and using your Facebook credentials.
  2. While logged on to the app, while swiping left and right through potential matches, users will see the “Swipe The Vote” option will come up as a potential match. If you swipe right, a ten-question survey pops up and asking you your opinion on 10 issues ranging from same-sex marriage to oil drilling.
  3. If you’re unfamiliar with a specific issue, tapping on the issue gives you general information about the issue as well as what those who support the issue and those who oppose it have to say about it so that users can get well-rounded information.
  4. After reading over an issue, users agree or disagree simply by swiping right or left.

Related: This Strategy Ups Your Tinder Game

Tinder Swipe the Vote

 

“Once you’ve swiped through ten of the hottest issues, you’ll be matched with the candidate who best matches your views,” Tinder wrote on their blog. You’ll also be shown how you compare with other candidates too.

Users are also given the option to register to vote, to further encourage users to “Swipe The Vote” and take the initiative to participate in politics, which is the goal of the partners, Rock The Vote.

Tinder released the latest survey results on their blog showing that Bernie Sanders was the top choice for the Democratic nomination, while Republican Ted Cruz was most popular for the opposite party.

Related: These Jobs Get the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

The survey claims the majority of their male users matched with Hillary Clinton (35.5%) versus Bernie Sanders at 32.7%. However, Sanders was the leading choice among women, receiving 43.4% of Tinder votes, while Clinton received 39.9% of female votes.

Note: Swipe the Vote is available for members of all ages, except Tinder Plus members.

tumblr_inline_o4llo82xsO1tq38ho_500

 

Have you registered to vote yet? If not, get involved and help “Swipe The Vote!”

Swipe The Vote will remain on the Tinder platform during this Presidential election season.

Not on Tinder? Head to iSideWith.com to figure out which candidate you best match up with and register to vote here.

Who did Tinder match YOU up with?

Need help with your Tinder profile? Our Swiping Right coaching plan will help you find your dream match.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Why You’re Not Getting Lucky in Love Online

IMG_1467
Spring is around the corner. The clocks have been pushed ahead and many of you are calling and writing in with that achy pain and frustrated feeling.

You’re swiping, you’re smiling, you’re flirting, and you’re still single.

If you feel this way, know that you’re not alone. Just like you do a spring cleaning of your closets and homes, or your medical health checkup at the beginning of a season, it’s time for a digital checkup on the reasons why you’re not successful with online dating.

If you’re feeling unlucky on the day one believes in luck the most, this post is for you.

Roman philosopher Seneca said it best when he talked about luck. “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. ”

Just how prepared are you? How much work are you willing to do to be happy and in love? Is it fate and are you waiting or will you take matters into your own digital hands?

Here’s an open letter to women to help open your heart to find love this spring.

Do any of these sound familiar?

  • I’m unhappy with the quality of matches.
  • I think all guys want to hook up.
  • Online dating and mobile dating feels like too much work.
  • No one responds to my emails.
  • Guys have too many options and are looking for the next great swipe.
  • All he wants to do is text.
  • I don’t want to be online for too long.
  • The same people are online that were online last year.

The list goes on.

These gripes and frustrations are coming from both men and women. You see, we’ve all been there. I can tell you that we are coaching more men these days than women and they are SERIOUS about finding love.

They pay for a dating coach, they put the expense and effort into getting new photos taken for the Internet dating profiles, they’re proactive and are writing to ten women a day. They put the same effort into online dating or are using their mobile dating apps to find a partner, with the same effort they do in getting that promotion at work. They know it can take a moment, a day, a week, or a year. They do the work and for the most, they don’t complain about it. There’s a gold ring at the end. It’s getting the girl.

This is what someone does when they pursue what they’re looking for. Seek and ye shall find.

Related: 7 Ways to Flirt on St. Patrick’s Day

As women, we are trained to wait for the man to find us. We don’t search that frequently and we don’t send ten emails to men every day or respond to that mutual match on a mobile dating app first.  That’s too much male energy for us. We think about the guy who couldn’t commit, about a potential date’s height, income, our ex who found a younger girlfriend, and the boyfriend who cheated. There’s so much negative thinking going on, that it’s impossible to attract someone great. Guys are guilty until proven innocent. I know this, because I talk to single men and women every day who are looking for love.

Related: Ladies, Make the First Move Online to Score 2.5 More Dates

These days, if you don’t have a mobile dating strategy, you’re pretty much not in the game. Not every swipe turns to a match. Not every match turns into a date. Not every date turns into your boyfriend. Not swiping means you just might be waiting…and waiting. Next season, you’ll be reading this post again waiting for summer to begin, wondering where all the great guys are.

So what are the guys complaining about?

  • Every girl’s profile looks the same.
  • Every girl wants a sugar daddy or someone to pay her bills.
  • Women have too many choices and they never write back.
  • We want to sleep with her eventually, but we need to have chemistry.
  • Women are looking for free meals.
  • Women complain about bad dates, exes, work, and money.
  • She’s a serial dater and not looking for something serious.
  • The same people are online that were online last year.

As a Digital Matchmaker and Online Dating Expert for over 20 years, I can tell you that both men and women have the same complaints. They want to connect, they just can’t find you. Or if they find you, you complain and don’t seem open and available.

I’m here to tell you that women are allowed to make the first move, while still remaining in their feminine energy. This is why both women and men enjoy the new Bumble app, where women make the first move. Women have more control over their love lives now, rather than waiting for their one in 50 million to find them. Men are flattered to hear from the women. Guys are frustrated when they keep swiping and writing, with no reply. Matches are being made. It’s what happens IRL that can help or hinder the process of getting to a second date and starting a relationship.

Related: Why Women Like Bumble

Here’s the thing, everyone’s dating online. No one calls to say they’re super-excited to be dating five guys a week for 52 weeks. They’re hoping their online dating tenure is shorter than longer.

A Pew Internet Research survey on online dating has shown that 30% of women actually enlist the help of someone to write their dating profile. These are the women who are taking it seriously. The same survey also showed that three times the amount of singles 18-24 are using mobile dating apps as compared to two years ago. It also showed that online dating use for adults 55-64 has doubled in the same time period. Everyone from your kids to grandma are dating online.

As you write down your long list of what you’re looking for and what you’re NOT looking for, I urge you to take any negative words or statements out of your vocabulary, out of your profile, and out of your first few dates. Everyone has a bad day here or there. If you’re walking train wreck, no one will want to date you or fall in love with you. Sure, they’ll sleep with you if you let them, but then you’ll complain that all guys want to hook up. As much as guys say they want a drama-free woman, there is no such thing as a drama free life. Our life lessons are what makes us unique.

Related: How to Write a Dating Profile That’s As Cool And Interesting as You

With spring around the corner, I urge you to leave the drama behind, leave the novel behind and go out and be happy. Enjoy meeting new people and learning about life outside of your world.

If your profile is filled with deal-breakers and you’re saying “don’t contact me if…,” I promise you, he won’t.

Life and love have a bit of luck involved, but it’s the effort that you put in that will determine the outcome of your fate. If you’re still stuck, you know where to find us.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert , Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s a frequent guest in the media with her online dating advice. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and remember to sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

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