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Julie Spira on Finding Love Online for the Jewish New Year

Jewish Dating

Photo credit: Fotolia

In my world, every day is like Valentine’s Day.

Summer love isn’t on it’s way out. The last day of summer is on September 22nd.

For Jewish singles, we’re As we head into the Jewish holidays of Rosh HaShana, the Jewish New Year on September 9th, leading into and Yom Kippur on September 19th, it coincidentally occurs around the same time as ‘Cuffing Season,’ where couples tend to find a partner to make a commitment to in the fall.

RELATED: YOUR GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON – GET READY TO COUPLE UP

Singles really want to connect and the Jewish New Year is really the start of the overall holiday season.

In conversation with the Jewish Journal, I spoke with writer Debra Eckerling on how Jewish singles can find love online, which was featured in the print edition of the newspaper, in the “Just Asking” column on page 62.

The online version can be found online here.

“We love our work, but we should also have love in our lives,” Spira told the Journal, “and love our partner, if we have time to find one.”

For Jewish singles looking for love, I recommend joining a site or mobile dating app such as JDate, JSwipe, or JCrush, and making sure your profiles on Match, eHarmony, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, or Zoosk, and indicate that you’re Jewish, if faith is important to you.

“When it comes to matters of the heart, you need to leave the boardroom out of the bedroom. Being only in work mode leaves no room for someone to feel romantic. Women need to be able to shift, talk about different things over dinner. If you only talk about your career, you will be in the friend zone forever.”

Sometimes a summer romance will lead to marriage, as evidenced in a recent survey from Plenty of Fish, and we’ve got a few weeks left of summer.

Know that many summer romances don’t last, and when a door closes, another opens, especially with the thoughts of a sweet, New Year.  If that’s the case, here’s  how to end it gracefully.

RELATED: WHAT HAPPENS TO RELATIONSHIPS WHEN SUMMER ENDS

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @JulieSpira.

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The Games Singles Play – Match Launches Crown App in LA

Crown Dating App
Match keeps growing as the biggest player in the dating industry and has just added a crowned jewel to their portfolio.

At a swanky West Hollywood rooftop party, the Match team came to celebrate their new dating-game app, Crown, starting in the Los Angeles market.

How Crown works is, instead of swiping on one potential date at a time as you would on Tinder or Bumble, users are presented with 16 matches every day at noon, with two profiles on the screen at one time. Once you “crown” or select your favorite of the two, you continue in pairs until the first round is over.

The players or potential dates then move into the second round of eight, where once again you can view and select one of the two until you eventually reach the final four, where you officially have the opportunity to chat with those from the four profiles you’ve crowned.

Does it sound like March Madness? Well, it’s similar, but the end-game is to find one to four matches to strike up a chat with and hopefully meet IRL.

RELATED: Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

I asked Match Group’s VP, Andy Chen, why he thinks gamification is a great way to find a date.

“The attraction to games is that they are naturally fun, there is excitement in terms of anticipation and the chance to win that creates a sense of payoff,” says Chen. “The experience with Crown feels more fun to our users than other dating apps on the market because it mimics these same elements.”

Chen flew to Los Angeles from the Match HQ with other executives, as well as the app’s creator, Patricia Parker from the Match products and events teams.

Parker’s idea was the winner from about 60-100 apps that were presented internally at the company’s internal “ideathon.”

“I met my husband on Match, so initially I was trying to think of dating things that were overwhelming for me,” says Parker.

Her inspiration? “Initially it just started off with, what can we do to get a limited amount of people, and this idea of choosing one person over the other, which is such a natural way of how you choose anything from the grocery store to matches on any other dating app,” says Parker. “The gamification part came later.”

RELATED: Cyber Love Story – Melissa and Ross

Chen tells me that people are craving a more focused and curated online dating experience. “We also find that choosing between two users is an easier and more fun approach than swiping through endless profiles,” says Chen. 

If you’re tired of swiping right and left on mobile dating apps, I believe this new dating game app launched by Match may help soothe the brain and fill up your date cards with quality matches.

Dr. Helen Fisher, Match Group’s Chief Scientific Advisor explains, “Crown solves the single biggest problem in online dating today: ‘cognitive overload.’”

According to Dr. Fisher, “the human brain is simply not built to choose between hundreds of potential suitors—as all the current dating apps require singles to do.”

Crown wants singles to have a more focused experience; long enough for them to discover new people but short enough to avoid the fatigue that singles struggle with, and to leave just enough anticipation for the next day’s batch of matches.

Crown Dating AppIf you’re Gen Z or Millennial in the Los Angeles area, you can download the Crown app on iOs HERE.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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Earth Day: Online Daters Find Environmentally-Friendly Singles a Turn-On

Earth Day
If you’re single, it’s time to celebrate Earth Day on April 22nd and to remember to be kind to the environment, recycle, and pick up the litter while on a date.

In a study over over 100,000 dating profiles conducted by online dating site Zoosk, they found the majority (91%) of singles really do care about the environment, with 58% who said dating someone who cares about being eco-friendly an attractive quality. We feel the same and you hope you do too.

In the Zoosk Earth Day study, they asked 5,100 singles about their love for the environment, along with ecological attitudes about those they’d be interested in dating.

Nix the Trash on Earth Day and Every Day

When it comes to trash, if you’re one who litters, you probably won’t get a second date.

The study showed that 74% find littering a deal-breaker, with 81% finding littering an annoying habit. So if you see garbage on the ground, it’s wise to pick it up and toss it away properly, as the survey revealed that 59% of singles say picking up litter is sexy.

Zoosk provided a list of eco-friendly words to add to your online dating profile to get a greater response.

The most popular words to start using now to generate a response on your dating profile include: reuse, organic, environment, farmers market, nature, earth, tree, forest, outdoors, hippie, plant, and wildlife.

RELATED: 7 Days to Celebrate Earth Day With Your Date

Online Dating Earth Day

Favorite Green Date Ideas

Thinking about suggesting an environmental-friendly date? 

The most popular green date ideas that online daters like include: going to the beach, going on a picnic, stargazing, visiting a local farmers market, or going on a hike.

So it’s time to fill your date cards with those who care about our beautiful earth, as 78% of singles responded that they’d like to date someone who cares about the environment and 51% prefer to date someone who’s energy efficient.

Wishing you much love and joy on this Earth Day.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert.  She was an early adopter of Internet and mobile dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles dating programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Why is My Boyfriend on Tinder?

Ask the Cyber-Dating ExpertOne of the most common questions we receive for our “Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert” column is what to do when you find your boyfriend on Tinder or other mobile dating apps.

Here’s Ashley’s dilemma.

Dear Julie,

I have a huge relationship dilemma that is currently happening as I type this.

I have been together with my man for just over a year now. ( we don’t have the “title”)

I am 19 almost 20 and he is 23 turning 24. We have a dog together and he basically lives with me, just sleeps at home when he works nights. He cares a lot and is always here for me, but this is why I need advice.

My friend from my home town, which is an hour away from where I live, now sent me a message with a photo of him on Tinder. This has happened before but he was really good at lying about it not being him, I was just too blind.

I had to create a fake account and see for myself and within 5 swipes I swiped yes to him. Later on tonight he came on and matched with me and sent a message. I froze. I responded and started having a conversation and it still continues.

RELATED: HELP! My boyfriend Created a Tinder Profile After a Fight

He has no idea it’s me obviously nor does he even know I know he’s on there. I am very attached to him and he treats me well. We laugh and get along , but we do argue sometimes. I am very confused because I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want him going behind my back and doing this.

I have no idea what to do or even how to bring this up to him. I really need some advise on what I should do in this situation.

Dear Ashley,

You are one of many who asks this very same question.

First of all, you can’t control him going behind your back and going on Tinder to flirt with other girls. We don’t know if he’s meeting anyone, but this isn’t the first time he’s been busted on Tinder. Do you really think you can trust him?

He also hasn’t defined the relationship and given you the important label of girlfriend.

For him, it’s a relationship of convenience. For you, you’re hoping it’s more, but with his Tinder activity, it isn’t. At your age, you have plenty of options to meet men who will be crazy about you.

If he’s dating or flirting with others, you should as well. When it gets to the point that you have to create a fake profile to “catch” him on Tinder, the situation isn’t good. There’s no trust, and if you tell him you did that, it will get worse.

I haven’t met you or him, but my recommendation in cases like these (and I see it happen all the time) is to let him know that he means a lot to you, but it’s clear that you’re not looking for the same type of relationship.

Let him know you’d like to be a girlfriend in an exclusive relationship that has a future. He will either step up to the plate, or disappoint you, which gives you the freedom to find someone who will cherish you.

It’s time to have the convo, so you can find a relationship without being in a love triangle with Tinder.

RELATED: How to Delete Tinder When You Find The One

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Do you have a dating question for Online Dating Expert Julie Spira?

Submit your questions here and FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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eHarmony Survey Says Over Half of Couples are Very Happy

eHarmony Happiness

Just how happy are couples in 2018?

A new poll commissioned by eHarmony and led by Harris Interactive shows good news for millennial couples.

“The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America” of 1000 couples reveals that 64 percent of Americans are “very happy” in their romantic relationships, with a partner or spouse with almost half being happy with their sex lives as well.

For an online dating site that has the sole goal of creating couples for long term relationships or marriage, the news is good that love and intimacy are thriving.

I spoke with Jeannie Assimos, Vice President, Content for eHarmony, who said the quality of people is very high on their site. “The intention is for our members to be there and spend time and thought into it,” said Assimos. ” Our singles are invested in finding a relationship.”

With Over 70% logins on their mobile app, you no longer have to answer 250 questions as a member, however Assimos says the matches will be better if you answer more questions. 

RELATED: 7 Quotes for Happiness Day

How did eHarmony describe perfectly happy?

Relationship status

“Tend to be on their first marriage, and they married young (‘for love’) while being very well
acquainted with their spouse/partner prior to marriage … seemingly they spent time getting to know each other first. They are likely to be exactly the same age and share many interests.”

● More likely than average to be married
● Their relationship length is significantly shorter than average
● Married at a younger than average age but knew their spouse for longer than average
before they got married
● Much more likely than average to be their first marriage
● Standard reasons for marrying (most likely ‘for love’)
● More likely than average to be in love with their spouse/partner and satisfied with their
relationship

Things they do together as a couple

“They participate in lots of activities with their spouse/partner, and have a shared interest in sports and keeping fit. Despite having kids, they make time for their relationship with regular date nights and they are not shy about displaying their happiness, being more likely to hold hands than other couples.”

RELATED: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

● Team sports
● Gym/exercise classes
● Camping
● Game nights
● Particularly likely to have regular date nights and hold hands when they are out together

So keep those date nights scheduled on your calendar, even if you’re taking turns cooking a romantic meal for each other.

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STUDY: The 2018 List of Best and Worst States for Single Daters

Wallet Hub online Dating

Should singles change their zip codes while looking for love online, or even take it further by moving to a more desirable state in the country?

A new study from WalletHub actually ranks all 50 states to determine the best and worst places for single daters.

The list breaks it down further into four categories.

  • Overall Rank
  • Dating Opportunities
  • Dating Economics
  • Romance & Fun

Digging deeper, the study shows the best states for online dating are:

  1. Washington
  2. Colorado
  3. New Hampshire
  4. Maryland
  5. Alaska

The worst states for online dating are:

  1. Mississipi
  2. Arkansas
  3. New Mexico
  4. West Virginia
  5. Louisiana

If you’re attached to your mobile phone and find yourself swiping left and right on mobile dating apps, the study shows a different digital picture.

wallet hub mobile dating

The best states for mobile dating apps are:

  1. Utah
  2. Maryland
  3. Colorado
  4. Massachusetts
  5. New Jersey

The worst states for mobile dating opportunities are:

  1. West Virginia
  2. Mississipi
  3. Arkansas
  4. Alabama
  5. Kentucky

Overall, California ranks as number one on the list. Perhaps the sunshine, Rose Bowl, and Disneyland contributed to that score. Just behind California is Florida, with New York coming in at number three.

Arkansas ranked at the bottom of the list as the worst place for singles.

This list shows the top 10 ranked states in the country.

Is your state on this list?

Wallet Hub Best States Dating

This map below, highlights each state to see where they rank.

Click on your state to find out the overall rank, and think about casting a wider net while looking for love online.

Source: WalletHub

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Selective in Dating? This App May Help You Find Love

Amor - Inner Circle

When I coach singles on dating and finding love, I always suggest casting a wide net, scheduling a second date even if there’s no instant chemistry, and expanding your social circle. It’s called social dating and with your mobile phone attached to your hip, you should leave no digital stone un-turned.

With this in mind, there are many dating sites and apps for the masses which can help with this quest.

Taking the opposite approach, some newer apps are considered exclusive, or as The Inner Circle CEO David Vermeulen calls his, “the selective dating app.”

The Inner Circle, launched in Europe in 2012, has now widened their reach by expanding into the U.S.

Now in New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles, the app will help you find the best-of-the best, or at least ones with the highest of education or the coolest job.

Inner Circle Julie Spira, David Vermeulen                                          Julie Spira and Inner Circle CEO, David Vermeulen

At their Los Angeles launch party, held at The Bungalow in Santa Monica, I sat down with Vermeulen to talk about the success of their app and how one can get off the wait-list and approved to start dating.

According to Vermeulen, The Inner Circle has 550,000 users spanning 12 countries. Their wait-list is about the same, with about 500,000 circles hoping to get accepted to the selective mobile dating app.

RELATED: Celebrities Swiping Right for Love

I asked Inner Circle’s CEO about their vetting. How can one get approved, instead of getting sent to the wait-list, with the hope of moving to a full-member?

According to Vermeulen, The Inner Circle has a team of four full-time people who view the 4000 new applications every day.

Here’s How to Register and Become a Member

1. Download The Inner Circle App
2. Create a Profile Using Linkedin or Facebook to Sign Up
3. Make Sure Your Education is Listed on Your Social Media Profiles
4. Have Other Friends and Connections as Members
5. Upgrade to Premium for Additional Features for More Access

Getting an invitation to Inner Circle isn’t that easy, and neither is getting approved.
When you register, their team looks at your education, profession, how many connections you have on social media (numbers count), and your photos.

When I asked why half of the potential members get put on the wait-list, Vermilion replied with, “The goal of inner circle is focused on the quality and the people who are a bit more serious. We also focus more on people the like-minded people that are ambitious, and inspiring.”

He added, “Not everybody that registers takes it that seriously.”

RELATED: Lawyers are the Most Desirable Jobs on Happn

Does education matter?

I asked if someone didn’t go to college, do they automatically get put on the waiting list?

It turns out while 94% of their members are highly educated, there are many in creative positions as well as members of the app.

The Quest for Being on an Exclusive App

Exclusivity is hot right now. Many singles want to join the bandwagon of exlusive apps. How does Inner Circle differentiate themselves from The League or Raya?

With a community themed app, they are hosting offline events all over the world, so get your Passport renewed and be ready to meet like-minded travelers.

On Tinder

With dating in the Tinder world become the norm and mainstream, the Inner Circle CEO said, “Tinder opened up the dating markets. Everybody’s on Tinder, so that’s a good thing. What we also see is that most people become what I call “tinder-tired” with endless swiping and swiping.”

RELATED: Tinder Love Expert on BuzzFeed Video

Inner Circle believes dating should be about the quality, not the quantity of members, and with such a huge wait-list, perhaps it’s time to update your LinkedIn profile to make sure it reflects your current fabulous job.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt with dating advice delivered to your inbox.

CLICK HERE to join The Inner Circle

Tinder Love Story – Rachel and Jason

Tinder Jason and Rachel

Meet Rachel and Jason who fell in love on the Tinder mobile dating app. She shared how the two met with some heartwarming details about their courtship.

When Rachel first saw her now-husband on Tinder, she said, “I thought he was handsome!  Initially, all I had to go off of were his pictures. One in particular, of him standing in a park in a navy hoodie got me. He was good looking but there was also something warm about his smile. To be honest, he seemed out of my league but I went for him anyway.”

RELATED: A Love Expert Critiqued Our Tinder Profiles

How long did it take to meet “IRL” (in real life) and when did your courtship begin?

“Interestingly, we agreed to make plans almost right away as we had initial good banter back and forth and enough in common that I felt comfortable meeting…. but we scheduled the actual date a couple of weeks out. I had just moved to L.A. and wasn’t free for a couple of weeks for what would end up being my second Tinder date ever, and on his end (while I didn’t realize it at the time), he had been out on so many Tinder dates prior to meeting me that his expectations were not exceedingly high, so he was totally content to wait.”

When did you know or become exclusive (how long before?) and how did you know he/she was the one?

“I would say we went from 0-60 very quickly.  Our first date was February 13th, 2014 we both went strategically radio silent on Valentine’s Day and then we made plans and went out on our second date on February 15th.  I think we were formally exclusive within the first 2 months, although truthfully, I was probably a little slower than he was to get the memo.

RELATED: These Names Will Get You the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

I had literally just moved to L.A. from New York a month and a half prior, and was going out of my way to meet new people.  And I was coming from Manhattan where people just didn’t seem to take dating quite as seriously as they do in L.A.  My husband claims he had worked his way through half of Tinder before meeting me and was a little burnt out on the process and thus ready to be serious. It was so refreshing to actually meet a guy who was interested in getting to know me, spending time with me and who was not looking to play games.”

Rachel and Jason have been together for 3.5 years now. They’re married and have a 7-month-old baby girl.

RELATED: Oh no! She Found Her Boyfriend on Tinder

Congratulations to Rachel and Jason, our Tinder Love Story.

Photo credit: Camilla Greenwell

Have you met someone special on Tinder or other mobile dating apps? We’d like to hear from you. 

CONTACT US to share your story.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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5 HOT Dating Tips for Summer Love

Summer Heart

There are many reasons why having a summer romance has become a popular trend. The weather is warm, your outfits show more bare skin, it’s bikini weather and beach volleyball time, chemistry is proven by science to heighten in the sunshine, and the list goes on.

With Fourth of July around the corner, it’s time to think about the fireworks in the sky and in your relationship.

Here’s how to have a sizzling hot summer filled with love and romance online and IRL

 1. Change your mobile dating app and online photos to include outdoor shots

Replace the winter ski photos, with boating, water, golfing, hiking, and anything that includes sunshine.

2. Start Using Emoticons and GIFs in Your Messages

 Many mobile apps including Tinder and Bumble include the option to use giphy, which is a lot of fun. If you seem like a fun person to be around, you will get more matches and your date card will start filling up.

 3. Host a Barbecue

Barbecue

Invite your single friends and ask them to bring another single friend. Grilling is fun and guys love taking charge at the BBQ. Make it a pot luck event and start getting out IRL.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY Fun Dating Ideas for Summer

4. Change Your Relationship Status to Single on Facebook

Facebook Relationship Status

You might still be recovering from a breakup, but facebook could be the world’s largest dating site if they wanted to be. Change your relationship status and you might find a secret crush emerging. Be open to the possibilities.

RELATED: When to Change Your Facebook Relationship Status

5. Log on Twice a Day to Dating Apps and Sites and Reply Promptly

via GIPHY

I have a saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” Ditch those old waiting rules and remember, when someone joins a dating site or mobile app, it’s because they want to meet someone. If you wait around a day or two, don’t be surprised if you hear back that they’ve met someone and want to date exclusively. Don’t underestimate chemistry. When a couple clicks, they often stop dating to see where the relationship will go.

At the end of the digital day, smile as bright as the sun to find a great reflection called love.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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Tinder Dating Expert Julie Spira on BuzzFeed Video

Julie Spira - Buzzfeed

We had a blast at the BuzzFeed studios in Hollywood, where I critiqued two Tinder profiles of Millennial singles who hadn’t been on ANY dates!

Well we changed that in a digital heartbeat.

Watch as I made both Ryann and Kelly’s mobile dating profiles go from dating in a SWIPE LEFT world, to quickly moving to a SWIPE RIGHT world.

Find out EXACTLY what they were doing wrong and how a little attitude adjustment with some digital techniques online combined with offline dating advice turned their love game around.

I’m so very proud of the two of them. Thank you to Buzzfeed for selecting me as their dating coach and love expert.

Julie Spira is a mobile dating expert and is known as America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the creator of Mobile Dating BootCamp and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 23 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs. Julie is the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was named “Best Dating Coach of the Year” in the 2017 iDate Awards.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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