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OkCupid Ditches Who’s Viewed You Feature

OkCupid

After a bunch of beta testing, our friends at OkCupid have decided to remove the feature of who’s viewed your profile, thereby enabling all members to browse anonymously on their online dating site and mobile app.

Previously part of the A-List premium paid features, now all members can browse, um, stalk their favorite profiles while they proactively can now like and comment on photos.
In the OkCupid blog, they give the following reason for these changes.

Likes & Messages Are the Truest Indicators of Interest

“Likes and messages are much clearer indicators of someone’s interest. And in dating, clearer is better. If someone messages you, for example. That means that someone wants to get to know you better. Or someone likes you. We take that as a clear sign that they’re interested in you. If you’ve also liked that person, you’ll both be able to see that you’ve mutually liked each other — even if neither of you have A-List — and you’ll get that signal of interest directly”

How Invisible Browsing Now Works

Without being able to view who visited your profile, you won’t know until they tacke action and message or like your profile and/or photos. 

The reason for this change, is the site is strongly encouraging you to message someone, rather than taking a peek and deciding later.

OkCupid claims that men who send a first message between 40 and 90 characters have the highest chances of a reply, and women who make the first move are 17% more likely to end up on a date than those who don’t.

So when we say word count and character count matters, it’s now backed up by their research.

Are you ready to put ten toes in and make the first move?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and an award-winning dating coach. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and had been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

12 Best Mobile Apps For 8 Different Dating Goals

Irish IndependendWe know that everyone is looking for something different when it comes to matters of the heart.

With that in mind, there is no one-size-fits-all formula or perfect dating site for everyone and the average mobile dating app user is active on 3.5 mobile dating apps!

When reporter Chrissie Russell interviewed me as the dating expert for a special Valentine’s issue of the Irish Independent’s weekend magazine, I provided a list on how people can find the right dating website or app for them. The feature is called “Finding the Most Appealing Dating Technology.”

If you can’t pick up a copy of the magazine, here are some highlights that were featured.

Dating Apps for Different Relationship Goals

1. The Young Professional: Match is a great choice because of the large amount of members worldwide. You can search by his or her profession and list your profession in your profile choices. Hinge is a dating app geared towards young professionals and recently they eliminated the swiping feature to differentiate them from Tinder. Now they’re calling themselves, the relationship app.

READ MORE: Match Adds Misconnections Feature

2. Someone a Bit Cynical About Online Dating and Apps: If you’re cynical, have some fun with some niche dating apps such as Bristlr for women who fancy men with facial hair, Align to match you based on astrology, or Gluten Free Singles for the gluten-fee intolerant.

3. Someone Just Looking for Fun: Tinder started out with most of the users swiping right to hook up. Now they say 80% of their members are looking for a meaningful relationship. Read the mini bios on the profiles to see if you should swipe right or left to find someone fun to hang out with.

READ MORE: These Names Will Get You More Right Swipes on Tinder

4. Someone Who Wants Companionship: Many sites and apps will help you find friends. The Bumble app has a BFF feature, where you can switch from looking for a relationship, to looking for a friend to hang out with for a non-dating experience. They call it switching to the friend zone.  OkCupid also gives you a choice of searching for New Friends, Casual-Dating, Long-Term Dating, or Casual Sex. Happn is a great app, because it matches you based on who you’ve crossed paths with, as they are a geo-location app.

5. Someone Divorced or Widowed and a Bit Apprehensive of Online Dating: If you’re starting over and don’t want to be bombarded with cubs looking for cougars and might want to meet someone more serious, eHarmony, a name that’s been around since 2000 would be the way to go. They allow you to take your time in communicating with potential dates.

READ MORE: Bumble App Now Helps You Find Your BFF

6. Someone Sporty Who Wants to Avoid the Bar Scene: Avoiding the bar scene is high on a lot of singles’ lists. Any site or app that has a chat feature would be good to have a virtual drink date. You can both grab a glass of bubbly or your favorite spirit and chat. If you’re a workout fanatic,, try the new Sweatt app for fitness enthusiasts.

7. Gay or Bi-Curious: Grindr was the original app for gay men, but these days many sites allow you to search based on your sexual preferences. Check out OkCupid, where in the drop down menu of your profile you can state if you’re Straight, Gay, or Bi-sexual. Click the more button and you’ll find a wider selection including Asexual, Demisexual, Heteroflexible, Homosexual, Lesbian, Pansexual, Queer, Questioning, and Sapiosexual. That’s a pretty full menu. Tinder just added a new gender feature, which includes transgender relationships.

8. Someone Not Very Good with Technology: For those technically challenged, they won’t be happy with any site. I suggest they enlist the help of a dating coach with experience in this area. A recent PEW research study showed that 30% of women had someone write their profiles. If you really can’t stomach logging on and swiping right, find a professional who can do this. As one who’s been been coaching singles for over 20 years, I do the work for many busy CEOs, or technically challenged singles, to be their digital wing woman. It solves the goal of meeting someone, while not having to be attached to the push notifications on your cell phones.

READ MORE: Find out How Irresistible Profiles Will Help You Find Your Dream Date

About Julie:

Julie Spira is the world’s top online and mobile dating expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and ranks as the most influential person in social media in the categories of “dating” and “online dating.” Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is the go-to person in the media, having appeared in over 1000 stories on the intersection of dating and technology. She was the winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach.  She’s also listed as one of the top 10 columnists to follow on Twitter.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Cyber Love Story – Raquel and David

Cyber Love Story - Davd and RaquelWhen David’s dad requested that I critique his son’s profile on OkCupid, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. David did not have an Irresistible Profile, not even close.

As a single dad with a heart of gold, his profile didn’t reflect what a great guy he was. As a matter of fact, the pictures weren’t inviting and throughout the profile he said, “Don’t contact me if…. and don’t contact me if…” He also included a warning label at the end.

There was such a huge list of reasons why a woman shouldn’t contact him. As a result, he had a pretty empty inbox.

Fortunately, he was a great student and his profile tune up resulted in David meeting the love of his life, Raquel and they’ve been going strong for almost four years.

RELATED: Moving from Best Friends to In a Relationship

David says he felt a familiar connection when he first gazed into Raquel’s eyes in her online dating photo. He recalls his initial comment being about one of their shared interests and that her outfit, in her profile photo, reminded him of a Viking princess.

Raquel responded and they had their first phone conversation where they discussed Robert Camp’s book, “Love Cards” and had fun discussing their connection, based on those principles. At the close of that phone call, they set a date to meet.

David very much appreciated their shared interests in self-help, spiritual, and mystery school topics and their attraction was mutual. Their first date led to a second and after their fifth, they became exclusive.  One of the first things they did together, after becoming an item, was doing a couple’s weekend at the University of Santa Monica (USM), of which Raquel is an alum, so they could start their relationship off on the right footing.

RELATED: OkCupid’s Flirting Year in Review

Most of the couples who attended had been married for many years and they were either doing what they can to re-ignite their passion or were at the end of their ropes and desperate to find a reason to stay together. Raquel and David consider themselves to be very lucky to have learned these tools and techniques, in the beginning of their relationship, which continue to be put into practice to this day, to protect and ensure that their coupling remain conscious and honored.

Since their time together, both of them have become Human Design Guides and also formed a company called, CoachEXP.com, a rating and review website for life coaches, business mentors, and spiritual leaders, which is quickly growing in popularity.  David and Raquel remain truly grateful for every precious moment they have and intend to continue to do great work together. They are partners in every sense of the word.

David says he is now in my debt, (yes men do hire dating coaches!), so I can call upon him at any time and he must comply with my wishes.

Congratulations to David and Raquel for finding love online, on OkCupid.

Do you have a Cyber Love Story to share?

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert and Best Dating Coach of the Year @JulieSpira on:

Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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OkCupid’s Flirting Year in Review

OkCupid Flirting 2016

As the year nears it’s tumbling end, it’s natural to think about your love lives in 2016, how they’ve changed, whether you’ve met someone new or were on a merry-go-round of serial dates.

From emjoi’s to politics, sports to our friends at OkCupid reported in their blog, what singles were flirting and chatting more about this year.

OkCupid reports that term with the greatest spike this year was “Pokémon Go,” which is refreshing that it topped politics in our election year.

So if you’re not into “Netflix and Chill,” make sure you’re watching “HBO Go,” as it’s listed as a highlight for many single daters.

Read full report here:

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

This New Tinder Feature Will Help You Stand Out

Tinder Boost

Are you tired of swiping right on Tinder and waiting for a match to appear? Do you feel like you’re in a numbers game and it’s no longer fun to play anymore?

If you feel this way, you’re not alone.

Tinder has announced on their blog, a new feature rolling out called ‘Tinder Boost’ to help you appear at the top of a match search. This new feature will help you “skip the line,” so they say and will allow you to be viewed as a top profile for 30 minutes to increase your chances of getting a mutual match.

Related: Why You Won’t Delete Tinder When You’ve Found The One

Here’s how Tinder Boost Works

1. Make sure you’re in Tinder Mode (turn off the social feature)

2. A pop-up will appear asking if you want to skip the line.

3. Sign up for Boost and you’ve got 10 minutes to be in premium mode.

4. Watch the countdown clock and make sure you make the most of your 10 minutes.

5. Start matching, chatting, and meeting IRL.

Related: Bumble Makes Men Reply or the Match Disappears

P.S. Tinder Plus members get one free boost a week, so we suggest you use it on a Sunday or Monday night, where singles have either had a weekend of bad dates or were dateless and want to change that before the upcoming weekend.

Tinder’s sisters dating sites/apps Match and OkCupid are already charging singles to appear during peak hours and the Bumble dating app also has a boost premium feature.  The Tinder mega mobile dating app is now testing their boost service in Australia and will hopefully be in the U.S. soon.

Will you pay more on a mobile app to appear higher in a search?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram, and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Ladies: Make The First Move Online To Score 2.5x More Dates

via GIPHY

Gone are the rules of women sitting by the phone, waiting for a text, waiting for the phone to ring, and waiting for a guy to ask you out first.

Once Bumble, the app where the women have control on making the first contact, grew rapidly in popularity, women started thinking differently about the archaic waiting game. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we think that’s good news. We aren’t suggesting that women always take the lead, propose marriage, and schedule every date. We know from coaching male clients that they are frustrated with writing emails and not getting much response.

Men find it refreshing when they hear from a woman. It boosts their egos and they know the chances are high that they’ll start communicating. How high?

OkCupid just released a study that show that women who message men first receive a higher response rate and more desirable men. They studied a random sample of 70,000 users and found that women who initiated contact first were 2.5 times more likely to receive a response than men.

Jimena Almendares, chief product officer at OkCupid, told the New York Times, “There are women on the site that are reaching out, and they’re getting all the benefits.”

The study also showed that men tend to message women 17 percentage points more “attractive” than themselves, while women send messages to men 10 percentage points higher.

What does this mean? Ladies, if you’re just scrolling through your inbox instead of reaching out first, it’s more likely that you’ll be looking at men less attractive than you.

When looking at sending the first message, OKC found one habit common of both men and women: both are “reachers.” A reacher is someone who “reaches out” to someone more attractive than they are.

OkCupid Study of Attractiveness

For women, this means that waiting for men to approach you will result in an inbox filled with less attractive men, if any men at all.

However, this can be solved simply by sending a message first. Women who reach out first, regardless of sexual orientation, do get more responses. This could have something to do with men being more likely to respond when a woman messages them first.

OkCupid Study of First Messages

Instead of waiting to be approached, try elevating your digital love game by 12 percent points and send the first message. If you receive a message from a man, you’re most likely messaging with someone who is 5 percentile points less attractive than you, but if you message first, the man is likely to be 7 percentile points more attractive than you.

more attractive

This puts ladies in the digital driver seat. If you send a messages to men you find attractive, you’ll increase your quantity of quality men to talk to. You’re more likely to have something to talk about with someone you message first.

At the end of the digital day, take a chance and message someone first who you find attractive. Not everyone will respond, but you’ll be filling your date card and going on more dates. Isn’t that the goal?

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Read the full study from OkCupid here.

 

twitter - Julie SpiraThe Perils of Cyber-Dating Instagram Julie Spira

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert, Mobile Dating Expert, and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating, and  was an early adopter of Internet dating, coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you fill your date card to find your dream date.

Sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox, along with the 7 Secrets to Finding Love Online.

Khloe Kardashian Joins Online Dating Site OkCupid

Khloe Kardashian OkCupidKhloe Kardashian has turned to the OkCupid mobile dating app to find love.

Celebrities dating online are as common now as your next door neighbor finding love on Match or eHarmony. Everyone from Katy Perry, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Britney Spears, James Franco, and Andy Cohen have joined Tinder and other dating apps.

Hollywood Life reports they saw the newly single’s blog  KhloeWithAK.com, where she posted the photo of her dating profile pics on the OkCupid mobile app, after ending her relationship with NBA boyfriend, Houston Rockets’ James Hardin.

On her blog, Khloe said, “Real talk: I’ve never done online dating before, but just for shi*ts and giggles, Malika (her BFF) and I decided to fill one out,” Khloe wrote on her blog.

She added, “It was actually really fun to do, LOL! Get to swiping right, boo-boo!”

How long she’ll stay active on the site is yet to be seen. We tried to find her profile and couldn’t access it by her user name, so it might be hidden, or she might have accessed premium features to determine who could search for her.

Still, it’s refreshing to see her genuine profile. If she didn’t have the famous last name of Kardashian, she could easily appear like the girl next door.

Related: Celebrities Swiping Right for Love

So what does Khloe’s OkCupid profile look like?

Khloe Kardashian OkCupid

Catchy Screen Name

khloewithak

Self Summary

Taking every day as it comes.

The First Thing People Notice About Me

My friend Malika says, “My eyes”

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, and Food

My favorite book is “The Coldest Winter.” My favorite movie is “Troop Beverly Hills.” My favorite TV show is “Sex and the City.” R&B music is my jam, and I can’t get enough Italian food.

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About

My family.

On a Typical Friday Night I Am

Working or hanging out with my nieces and nephews: Penelope, Mason, Reign, Saint and North!

The Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit

I always, always have Hot Tamales in my nightstand! I’m actually going to eat some right now.

Related: Britney Spears Joins Other Celebrities on Tinder

Would you swipe right on her dating profile?

Our message to Khloe, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Perils of Cyber-DatingHave you heard the news? Our bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online has been completely revised and is available as an audio book on Audible, Amazon, and Kindle.

The audio book has new bonus dating advice, as well as a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending to make you believe in love.

 

Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps of 2015

Mobile DatingI’m Julie Spira, founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. Every year my team and I curate a list of the best mobile dating apps our single daters are using.

It’s time to grab your Smartphones, as we’re proud to announce the annual Cyber Dating Expert “Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps” list for 2015 for your viewing and downloading pleasure.

Ready, Set Swipe! 10 Best Mobile Dating Apps

Tinder1. TinderAndroid and iOs

We featured Tinder back in 2013, before swiping right became a household term. Tinder is the fastest growing location-based mobile dating app and Tinder-like apps are being launched every day. No longer the new kid on the block and not just for hookups (I know what you’re saying, you can’t say you met on Tinder, right?), singles are swiping left and right to the tune of 16 million swipes a day.

Related: Matt and Allee – They Met on Tinder

This year, Tinder announced Verified profiles since so many celebrities had joined the Tinder bandwagon. From Hilary Duff to your next door neighbor, everyone seems to be swiping. While Tinder is free, they launched a premium service, Tinder Plus, which costs between $9.99 and $19.99/month. Singles can now “Super Like” a potential match, giving them a digital heads up that they’re more than just a swipe away. Other premium features include “Passport,” which allows you to search in another city to help you fill your date card, before you hop on a plane or travel elsewhere. Swipe regret? Premium members can also get back that last left swipe, just in case you swiped in error.

How it works. Users download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones and connect through Facebook to create a profile. You can set your distance and age range in the “Discovery Settings.” Users anonymously swipe through potential matches nearby. If you’re interested, you swipe right. If you’re note, you swipe left. If it’s a mutual match,  you can start chatting in text message style directly through their app. Once you swipe left, that profile will never appear again. You can also decide to unmatch yourself from someone if the conversation has a lull or if you had a date that wasn’t worth repeating.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use, free, let’s you see your Facebook friends in common, and is the fastest growing mobile dating app. It’s also a fun way to make new friends, as not everyone is single. You can view a variety of potential dates in a digital moment and anonymously decide whether you’re interested in them or not. Tinder boasts 9 billion matches to date with over 10 million active users.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Hinge App2. Hinge – Android and iOs

Hinge is a mobile dating app that will only match you with friends-of-friends on Facebook and you can see where they work, as it pulls your data from Facebook. This is appealing to daters. Singles believe this app has less of a hookup tendency than others. Coming on the scene as the more serious version of Tinder (or anti-Tinder), Hinge gives you a limit of 5 -15 matches a day and this limit creates value and appreciation for each potential match. There’s also a new feature to give you a sense of urgency, as the match will disappear if you don’t message them within 24 hours. Their new handy countdown clock will let you know how much time you have left to message your mutual match. Once you send a message through the app, you’re notified that you have 14 days left to communicate. Basically, you’ll need to exchange digits within their time limitations or the match will disappear.

How it works: Singles download the app and log in using Facebook. Once you confirm your location, you’ll start receiving matches. You can see who you are connected through on Facebook and can even ask your mutual friend what he or she thinks about your potential date.  You can set your age preferences and check off some of your passions from their curated list. Once you start receiving matches, click on the heart or swipe right if you’d like to make it a mutual match or click the X or swipe left if you want to decline. When you become a mutual match, you can start communicating through the app.  Once you hit your match limit, you’ll be notified to check back and are encouraged to invite a friend to join Hinge. If you recommend a friend, they’ll send you more matches.

Why we like it: Their profiles include the first and last name of the potential date. It gives you a feeling of confidence knowing the person is genuine and authentic. Women love the app because it makes them feel safer while dating. Plus: There’s a 50/50 ratio of men to women.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Bumble3. Bumble – Android and iOs

Bumble is the mobile dating app which gives the ladies all of the control. It’s like the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Similar to Tinder, it’s free to join and users sign up from Facebook and can then set their photos, distance, and age requirements in the app.

How it works: Women view profiles of potential dates and they make the first move to select who to “like” by swiping right or who to “dislike” by swiping left. A popup will appear when you swipe left just in case you want to give a second look to a potential date. Mutual likes have 24 hours to strike up a convo in the chat bubble on the top right of the app, otherwise your match will disappear. Your chats will appear in the “Conversations” section of the app until you decide to delete them.

Why we like it: The ladies are enjoying being the one in control and let’s face it, the guys are competitive. They want to get selected.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Match Mobile4. Match – Android, iOs, and Amazon

Match.com has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. Their mobile dating apps are free to download. Users can create a profile, view profiles to see what shared interests they have in common, send winks, upload photos from their camera roll, snap a picture, or select photos from their Facebook photos.

How it works: Match allows you to search within your criteria or select from those they have matched for you in their “Daily Matches.” Daters can click the check mark button on the right to show their interest or the X button on the left if they’re not interested. Premium members are encouraged to write to their daily matches to have a greater chance of connecting. This year, Match began allowing singles to edit their usernames so they can post their real names to give more confidence and credibility to the daters. Singles can search with their “Discover” feature in the stream, or switch to “mixer” mode where the profiles appear to be more Tinder-like where you can swipe right to match or swipe left to take a pass.  For an extra fee on top of your membership fee, you can now purchase premium features such as the “Top Spot” to help you receive 3x more views ranging from $2.00 to $2.99 or the new “Match IQ” for $1.99 for a 24-hour period, to help you decide when the best time is to reach out to a particular match you might find interesting. 

Why we like it: Online dating is a numbers game and Match has millions of members to select from. You can be the one in control writing to singles you’re interested in, or allow their algorithms to do the work for you. Plus you can turn on text alerts and receive a text to your mobile phone when you receive an email from a potential date.

Download Match Mobile on Google Play or iOs

 

Plenty of Fish5. POF – Android and iOs

POF has become one of the largest free dating apps in the world. POF reports that over 80 percent of people who access POF do so from a mobile device. Their profiles are simple and they’re now in 70 countries around the world, in case you’d like to put a stamp in your Passport.

How it works: Users sign up for free and can search for singles from their mobile dating app using new filters such as education, height, body type, by user name, newest users or the last ones to log on.  Their “Ultra Match” feature allows you to refine your matches by selecting who you are interested in and allowing their algorithms to find the best matches for you. As complicated as it sounds, it’s really quite simple. The “Top Prospects” feature is a favorite. They provide a list of singles you’ve been in contact with and believe that 50% of the time your future partner is in their Top 10 list. Add to it they believe that 17% of the time they will pick the exact person you will end up dating. With promises like that, it’s worth checking out. Premium or upgraded members can post up to 16 images and show up first on “Meet Me,” a Tinder-like swiping feature where you swipe right to vote yes or swipe left to vote no.

Why we like it: It’s free and there really is some digital magic going on with the “Top 10 Prospects” list.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

 

Grindr6. GrindriOs, Android

Grindr has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps” list every year. Let’s just say, they paved the way for mobile dating since their launch in 2009. Grindr is the world’s largest gay social networking app with over 2 million daily users in 196  countries.

How it Works: Grindr’s free service allows you to view up to 100 guys and match or block your matches.  Grindr Xtra, their premium paid service, is ad-free and allows you to view up to 300 guys. It also comes with push notifications and extra search capabilities, even when the app is closed.

Why we like it: They paved the way for all of the other fun dating apps. Kudos to them.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

OkCupid Mobile7. OkCupid – iOs and Android

OkCupid is free and makes it easy to access the web version of their site on your mobile phone, as well as providing a mobile-only app that is location-based and simple to use.

How it Works: Users can sign in from Facebook or directly on the mobile app to find singles in their area or by search criteria.  If you’re intrigued by someone’s photo, you can double tap on it to “like” it as a favorite and a star will appear.  They also let you know who’s online now with a bright green dot in case you want to start chatting.  The “Quickmatch” feature on the mobile app allows you to view profiles in a Tinder-like style where you can see who has liked you and turn it into a mutual match by clicking the star icon or swiping right. Not interested? Swipe left or click the X icon to take a pass. If it’s a match, you can visit their profile or send a message.

Their paid “A List” service gives you anonymous browsing and allows you to change your username. If you haven’t splurged on “A List” you can pay for their “Incognito” feature, where your profile is only visible to people you like or message. This feature also allows you to revoke a person’s access to your profile by “unliking” or hiding them. Another premium feature is “Rush Hour,” where during peak traffic times, you can boost your visibility for 15 minutes from $1.69 to $1.99 per boost. If you want to get automatically boosted once a day during peak hours, you can do so from $9.99/month to $19.99/month.

Why we like it: Having the match percentage listed on a profile photo makes it easy for those who are intrigued by the computer algorithms and makes you curious to find out why.  Plus, those provocative questions you were asked to answer to determine match compatibility can be viewed on the mobile app.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

coffee meets bagel8. Coffee Meets Bagel – iOs

CMB has won the hearts of many singles looking for love online, especially the women. Featured on Shark Tank, the creators, the Kang sisters turned down a $30 million offer from Mark Cuban to buy the company.

How it Works: Users sign up through Facebook to create their free profile. Every day at noon, you’ll receive one match (a bagel) from a friend-of-a friend. You then have 24 hours to “Like” or “Pass” on the daily bagel, or even give the match to a friend.  If you miss one of your bagel dates, you can request to be rematched. Users can visit the CMB bean shop to buy coffee beans to pay for upgraded services at the cost of $1.99 to $24.99, but can also easily win free beans by recommending a bagel to a friend and liking their social media pages. Once matched,  you can then start texting with your match in a private chat, but remember to act quickly, as the chat is only active for 8 days.

Why we like it: Users look forward to receiving their daily “bagel” at lunch time. CMB believes your dating life, including your name, birthday and email should be private. They also claim that your friends are the best conduits for your dates, and that meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated. It also feels like you’re playing a fun game, as you receive coffee beans when you respond to a match.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

eHarmony Logo

9. eHarmony – Android, iOs and Windows

eHarmony is responsible for over 438 people getting married every day. Their free mobile app provides similar features to the desktop version, including signing up for free, getting matches, and filling out the questionnaire. eHarmony reports that users tend to access their mobile apps 5+ times throughout the day, as compared to twice a day on the laptop or desktop computer.

How it works: Singles download the app and then create their profile. You can upload photos from Facebook, receive daily matches, and use guided communication for free.  Premium paid members have the same functionality as the subscriber’s web version, where you can view photos, read and write emails, go through guided communication,  and see when a match last logged in.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use and the added “What If” feature lets you consider someone outside of your preferences. After all, what we say we want on digital paper isn’t always what we need.

Download Google Play

Download iOS

Download Windows Store

 

Happn10. Happn – Android, iOs, Windows Phone

Remember Craig’s List Missed Connections? Happn is a more modern day approach to matching with someone you’ve already crossed paths with, but never really connected. Every time you pass by a spot with another member IRL, you’ll get an instant push notification that another member is nearby and boom, you can meet instantly.  Some may find it very efficient. Others may not want to meet after a sweaty yoga class, but then again, they wouldn’t be on this app if that were the case. If you think you might miss out on a digital crush who hangs in the same h0od as you, but are on the shy side, this app is for you. Note: The app was created in France and is available in 25 cities around the world.  They are starting to expand in the U.S. and may not have rolled out in your city yet.

How it works: Download the app and log in to Facebook, where yo can edit which information in your Facebook profile that you want to appear in your bio. You must enable your location services for the app to work. Every time you cross paths with another member, it will appear on your timeline feed. You can like someone’s profile by tapping on the heart button. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll be notified and you’ll be considered in the crush stage. You can also view how many times your paths have crossed. If you want to take it a step further, men can pay to to send a charm. There is no cost to women at this point.  Charms are similar to Tinder’s “Super Like” feature, except you buy them in a package. Each charm is equal to using one credit.

Why we like it: You won’t have to wonder about the one who got away. You can also now sync with Instagram to see your potential date’s feeds and interests.

Download Android

Download iOs

Download Windows Phone

TastebudsHonorable Mention – Tastebuds – iOs

There was a great Shakespeare quote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Now you can celebrate #MusicMonday every day of the week with a potential date who has the same musical interests as you do.  Concert dates can be a lot of fun and sharing music is passion that many have on their list as a must-have. With this in mind, although Tastebuds is a social networking app, we feel it belongs in the dating category as you can share playlists and more with your potential date.

How it works: Users can sign up easily through Facebook or via email. You can send a message bomb for free to eight of your matches. Your music library can be added or you can add your favorite artists and bands manually. Searches can be fun as you can search by the name of the band that you’re a fan of and within a certain age criteria. Within seconds you can be matched with someone who also loves Pink Floyd and the Beatles.

Why we like it? Perhaps I’m biased as a former music radio DJ, but music is a shared experience. Who would want to go to a concert with someone who didn’t know who David Bowie was?

Download on iOs

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share?

Julie Spira is an online dating coach and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the creator and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Swiping Right can help you find your dream date.

Read more mobile dating advice.

Online Dating – Why Won’t Women Write Back?

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowIn this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a single man called in quite frantic and upset that he had been writing to women online and they never wrote back.

He’s wondering what’s wrong with him, why women aren’t interested in marriage anymore, and if there’s something wrong with his profile. He’s a member of three online dating sites, Match, PlentyofFish, and OkCupid.

On the spot, he signed up for The Flirt dating profile critique and I quickly analyzed his Match profile.

The interesting thing is, he was worried that his photos were bad. They really weren’t great, but the most surprising issue is, he’s a great catch and says he NEEDS to be married. When I questioned him as to why he wanted to get married and how long he had been divorced, he corrected me and said, he NEEDED to get married to survive. Without marriage, he couldn’t go on living. He had only been divorced for 6-months.

This great guy was in so much pain. I knew I needed to help him and build up his self-esteem and that one hour wouldn’t be enough. I also knew that I needed to manage his expectations and that there were plenty of women out there who would love to be married. He just hadn’t found them yet.

So why weren’t women writing back to him?

1. His profile photos were awful. He was  a good looking guy and the primary photo was so dark, you could hardly see his sweet face. He couldn’t afford a photographer and we had to work with what he had, at least for the time being.

What did we do?

I reviewed all of his photos and instantly lightened them up, cropped some of the photos so the focus was on him, and changed the order of the photos. I deleted the photo of him playing the guitar as he looked sad and his photo showed only half of his body and a dog in the center of the photo. The dog looked so sad, that all I could see and feel was a man probably playing a country music song to the tune of “Twang, twang, she broke my heart.”

That shot had to go, period. A woman wants to see a confident happy man that she can share her life with. The dog didn’t need center stage. In fact, a woman might think the dog sleeps in bed with her. All of the photos were captioned as they had been taken this year, so the women would know there was truth-in-advertising on his profile.

You see this guy is a pilot. Pilots, like firemen, are really sexy to women. When a photo showed more of the runway that him by the plane, it had to be cropped as well.

2. His bio was filled with too many questions that he required a woman to answer. I love it when someone asks a question in an Internet or mobile dating profile. It immediately triggers the action for someone to respond. However asking four direct questions made it look like he was in a deposition or job interview. It would be too much work for women to reply, so they just moved on to another email.

What did we do?

I deleted three of the direct questions which came close to begging a woman to be his girlfriend, took out the small talk and made sure there were specific descriptions of things he was passionate about.

3. His About Me Section Was Sloppy. On dating sites, it already lists your age, and on Match it states the age range you’re looking for.

His profile started with: I’m a male, 53, professional pilot, seeking a female for a relationship 43-59 within 50 miles. Are you the one that cares to go on that walk on the beach with me? My favorite season is summer and I would like to bring my dog Shiloh. Sound fun? Barbeque sandwich for me. Do you care for red cake?

What did we do?

I deleted his first sentence as it was redundant and mirrored the headline of his profile. It was obvious that he was a male. His age was already listed and by repeating that he was looking for a relationship 43-59 within 50 miles, it not only had been stated, but it looked like he was a guy with strict requirements. It couldn’t have been further than the truth.

Instead his new profile starts off with, “I’m a professional pilot.” It was intriguing enough to allow a woman to desire to continue reading the rest of the profile.

4. He only wrote to 5 women a day. When he told me that no one wrote back, it wasn’t entirely true. He actually received one reply to five emails that he’d sent out. That’s actually not a bad statistic. When I explained to him that typically only one out of ten emails are responded to, and he was ahead of the game, he was shocked.

What did we do?

I gave him the homework assignment of writing to ten women a day instead of five. This way he would get double the response than he did beforehand.  I explained that online dating is a numbers game. He needed to treat it like he was looking for a dream job, only he was looking for a wife.

This wonderful sweet kind successful 53-year old pilot is a great catch. He wants to get married, is taller than average at 6’5,” and will be the most loyal and wonderful husband to a lucky woman who has the same desires as he does. So ladies, don’t think there aren’t marriage-minded men out there.

I have hope for this man, but reminded him that patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Do you have a question for dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

OkCupid – How to Search for a User

OkCupid User NameOur friends at OkCupid had a bit of a digital facelift recently.  Among the changes to help you find love online more quickly, you might notice that you no longer can search for someone by their username anymore.

A recent study showed that LOVE is the number one most popular search term for single searching on OkCupid. But what if you suddenly can’t find his or her profile anymore?

While they’ve refined the site to help you browse for matches more easily,  taking a peek at that cute hunk or hottie that you have a digital crush on might be a little bit more difficult.

If you’re wondering how to find his or her Internet dating profile, the good news is you can still browse and search for a user, but getting there is a bit more complicated.

Here’s how to find a profile on OkCupid based on the username:

1. Log onto OkCupid on your desktop.

2.  Click on your profile thumbnail on the top right hand side of the screen.

OkCupid

3. A drop down box will appear, where you can select “Find a User.”

OkCupid

4.  Type in the user’s name in the box where it says search by username.

Ok Cupid Username

5.  If their profile is active, it will appear and you can now click on their profile.

To make it simpler, type in this URL below in your browser while logged on to OkCupid.  It will take you directly to the “Find a User” page. Remember, unless you’re an “A List” where you can browse anonymously, or are using the new Incognito premium feature, which hides your profile from being viewed by users who you haven’t liked or messaged, users will see that you recently visited their online dating profile.

https://www.okcupid.com/find-a-user

Are you using OkCupid? What do you think of the recent changes to their site?

To find out more about how to create an Irresistible Profile to find your dream date, visit IrresistibleProfiles.com.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more online and mobile dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

 

 

 

 

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