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Khloe Kardashian Joins Online Dating Site OkCupid

Khloe Kardashian OkCupidKhloe Kardashian has turned to the OkCupid mobile dating app to find love.

Celebrities dating online are as common now as your next door neighbor finding love on Match or eHarmony. Everyone from Katy Perry, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Britney Spears, James Franco, and Andy Cohen have joined Tinder and other dating apps.

Hollywood Life reports they saw the newly single’s blog  KhloeWithAK.com, where she posted the photo of her dating profile pics on the OkCupid mobile app, after ending her relationship with NBA boyfriend, Houston Rockets’ James Hardin.

On her blog, Khloe said, “Real talk: I’ve never done online dating before, but just for shi*ts and giggles, Malika (her BFF) and I decided to fill one out,” Khloe wrote on her blog.

She added, “It was actually really fun to do, LOL! Get to swiping right, boo-boo!”

How long she’ll stay active on the site is yet to be seen. We tried to find her profile and couldn’t access it by her user name, so it might be hidden, or she might have accessed premium features to determine who could search for her.

Still, it’s refreshing to see her genuine profile. If she didn’t have the famous last name of Kardashian, she could easily appear like the girl next door.

Related: Celebrities Swiping Right for Love

So what does Khloe’s OkCupid profile look like?

Khloe Kardashian OkCupid

Catchy Screen Name

khloewithak

Self Summary

Taking every day as it comes.

The First Thing People Notice About Me

My friend Malika says, “My eyes”

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, and Food

My favorite book is “The Coldest Winter.” My favorite movie is “Troop Beverly Hills.” My favorite TV show is “Sex and the City.” R&B music is my jam, and I can’t get enough Italian food.

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About

My family.

On a Typical Friday Night I Am

Working or hanging out with my nieces and nephews: Penelope, Mason, Reign, Saint and North!

The Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit

I always, always have Hot Tamales in my nightstand! I’m actually going to eat some right now.

Related: Britney Spears Joins Other Celebrities on Tinder

Would you swipe right on her dating profile?

Our message to Khloe, we wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Perils of Cyber-DatingHave you heard the news? Our bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online has been completely revised and is available as an audio book on Audible, Amazon, and Kindle.

The audio book has new bonus dating advice, as well as a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending to make you believe in love.

 

Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps of 2015

Mobile DatingI’m Julie Spira, founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. Every year my team and I curate a list of the best mobile dating apps our single daters are using.

It’s time to grab your Smartphones, as we’re proud to announce the annual Cyber Dating Expert “Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps” list for 2015 for your viewing and downloading pleasure.

Ready, Set Swipe! 10 Best Mobile Dating Apps

Tinder1. TinderAndroid and iOs

We featured Tinder back in 2013, before swiping right became a household term. Tinder is the fastest growing location-based mobile dating app and Tinder-like apps are being launched every day. No longer the new kid on the block and not just for hookups (I know what you’re saying, you can’t say you met on Tinder, right?), singles are swiping left and right to the tune of 16 million swipes a day.

Related: Matt and Allee – They Met on Tinder

This year, Tinder announced Verified profiles since so many celebrities had joined the Tinder bandwagon. From Hilary Duff to your next door neighbor, everyone seems to be swiping. While Tinder is free, they launched a premium service, Tinder Plus, which costs between $9.99 and $19.99/month. Singles can now “Super Like” a potential match, giving them a digital heads up that they’re more than just a swipe away. Other premium features include “Passport,” which allows you to search in another city to help you fill your date card, before you hop on a plane or travel elsewhere. Swipe regret? Premium members can also get back that last left swipe, just in case you swiped in error.

How it works. Users download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones and connect through Facebook to create a profile. You can set your distance and age range in the “Discovery Settings.” Users anonymously swipe through potential matches nearby. If you’re interested, you swipe right. If you’re note, you swipe left. If it’s a mutual match,  you can start chatting in text message style directly through their app. Once you swipe left, that profile will never appear again. You can also decide to unmatch yourself from someone if the conversation has a lull or if you had a date that wasn’t worth repeating.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use, free, let’s you see your Facebook friends in common, and is the fastest growing mobile dating app. It’s also a fun way to make new friends, as not everyone is single. You can view a variety of potential dates in a digital moment and anonymously decide whether you’re interested in them or not. Tinder boasts 9 billion matches to date with over 10 million active users.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Hinge App2. Hinge – Android and iOs

Hinge is a mobile dating app that will only match you with friends-of-friends on Facebook and you can see where they work, as it pulls your data from Facebook. This is appealing to daters. Singles believe this app has less of a hookup tendency than others. Coming on the scene as the more serious version of Tinder (or anti-Tinder), Hinge gives you a limit of 5 -15 matches a day and this limit creates value and appreciation for each potential match. There’s also a new feature to give you a sense of urgency, as the match will disappear if you don’t message them within 24 hours. Their new handy countdown clock will let you know how much time you have left to message your mutual match. Once you send a message through the app, you’re notified that you have 14 days left to communicate. Basically, you’ll need to exchange digits within their time limitations or the match will disappear.

How it works: Singles download the app and log in using Facebook. Once you confirm your location, you’ll start receiving matches. You can see who you are connected through on Facebook and can even ask your mutual friend what he or she thinks about your potential date.  You can set your age preferences and check off some of your passions from their curated list. Once you start receiving matches, click on the heart or swipe right if you’d like to make it a mutual match or click the X or swipe left if you want to decline. When you become a mutual match, you can start communicating through the app.  Once you hit your match limit, you’ll be notified to check back and are encouraged to invite a friend to join Hinge. If you recommend a friend, they’ll send you more matches.

Why we like it: Their profiles include the first and last name of the potential date. It gives you a feeling of confidence knowing the person is genuine and authentic. Women love the app because it makes them feel safer while dating. Plus: There’s a 50/50 ratio of men to women.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Bumble3. Bumble – Android and iOs

Bumble is the mobile dating app which gives the ladies all of the control. It’s like the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Similar to Tinder, it’s free to join and users sign up from Facebook and can then set their photos, distance, and age requirements in the app.

How it works: Women view profiles of potential dates and they make the first move to select who to “like” by swiping right or who to “dislike” by swiping left. A popup will appear when you swipe left just in case you want to give a second look to a potential date. Mutual likes have 24 hours to strike up a convo in the chat bubble on the top right of the app, otherwise your match will disappear. Your chats will appear in the “Conversations” section of the app until you decide to delete them.

Why we like it: The ladies are enjoying being the one in control and let’s face it, the guys are competitive. They want to get selected.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Match Mobile4. Match – Android, iOs, and Amazon

Match.com has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. Their mobile dating apps are free to download. Users can create a profile, view profiles to see what shared interests they have in common, send winks, upload photos from their camera roll, snap a picture, or select photos from their Facebook photos.

How it works: Match allows you to search within your criteria or select from those they have matched for you in their “Daily Matches.” Daters can click the check mark button on the right to show their interest or the X button on the left if they’re not interested. Premium members are encouraged to write to their daily matches to have a greater chance of connecting. This year, Match began allowing singles to edit their usernames so they can post their real names to give more confidence and credibility to the daters. Singles can search with their “Discover” feature in the stream, or switch to “mixer” mode where the profiles appear to be more Tinder-like where you can swipe right to match or swipe left to take a pass.  For an extra fee on top of your membership fee, you can now purchase premium features such as the “Top Spot” to help you receive 3x more views ranging from $2.00 to $2.99 or the new “Match IQ” for $1.99 for a 24-hour period, to help you decide when the best time is to reach out to a particular match you might find interesting. 

Why we like it: Online dating is a numbers game and Match has millions of members to select from. You can be the one in control writing to singles you’re interested in, or allow their algorithms to do the work for you. Plus you can turn on text alerts and receive a text to your mobile phone when you receive an email from a potential date.

Download Match Mobile on Google Play or iOs

 

Plenty of Fish5. POF – Android and iOs

POF has become one of the largest free dating apps in the world. POF reports that over 80 percent of people who access POF do so from a mobile device. Their profiles are simple and they’re now in 70 countries around the world, in case you’d like to put a stamp in your Passport.

How it works: Users sign up for free and can search for singles from their mobile dating app using new filters such as education, height, body type, by user name, newest users or the last ones to log on.  Their “Ultra Match” feature allows you to refine your matches by selecting who you are interested in and allowing their algorithms to find the best matches for you. As complicated as it sounds, it’s really quite simple. The “Top Prospects” feature is a favorite. They provide a list of singles you’ve been in contact with and believe that 50% of the time your future partner is in their Top 10 list. Add to it they believe that 17% of the time they will pick the exact person you will end up dating. With promises like that, it’s worth checking out. Premium or upgraded members can post up to 16 images and show up first on “Meet Me,” a Tinder-like swiping feature where you swipe right to vote yes or swipe left to vote no.

Why we like it: It’s free and there really is some digital magic going on with the “Top 10 Prospects” list.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

 

Grindr6. GrindriOs, Android

Grindr has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps” list every year. Let’s just say, they paved the way for mobile dating since their launch in 2009. Grindr is the world’s largest gay social networking app with over 2 million daily users in 196  countries.

How it Works: Grindr’s free service allows you to view up to 100 guys and match or block your matches.  Grindr Xtra, their premium paid service, is ad-free and allows you to view up to 300 guys. It also comes with push notifications and extra search capabilities, even when the app is closed.

Why we like it: They paved the way for all of the other fun dating apps. Kudos to them.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

OkCupid Mobile7. OkCupid – iOs and Android

OkCupid is free and makes it easy to access the web version of their site on your mobile phone, as well as providing a mobile-only app that is location-based and simple to use.

How it Works: Users can sign in from Facebook or directly on the mobile app to find singles in their area or by search criteria.  If you’re intrigued by someone’s photo, you can double tap on it to “like” it as a favorite and a star will appear.  They also let you know who’s online now with a bright green dot in case you want to start chatting.  The “Quickmatch” feature on the mobile app allows you to view profiles in a Tinder-like style where you can see who has liked you and turn it into a mutual match by clicking the star icon or swiping right. Not interested? Swipe left or click the X icon to take a pass. If it’s a match, you can visit their profile or send a message.

Their paid “A List” service gives you anonymous browsing and allows you to change your username. If you haven’t splurged on “A List” you can pay for their “Incognito” feature, where your profile is only visible to people you like or message. This feature also allows you to revoke a person’s access to your profile by “unliking” or hiding them. Another premium feature is “Rush Hour,” where during peak traffic times, you can boost your visibility for 15 minutes from $1.69 to $1.99 per boost. If you want to get automatically boosted once a day during peak hours, you can do so from $9.99/month to $19.99/month.

Why we like it: Having the match percentage listed on a profile photo makes it easy for those who are intrigued by the computer algorithms and makes you curious to find out why.  Plus, those provocative questions you were asked to answer to determine match compatibility can be viewed on the mobile app.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

coffee meets bagel8. Coffee Meets Bagel – iOs

CMB has won the hearts of many singles looking for love online, especially the women. Featured on Shark Tank, the creators, the Kang sisters turned down a $30 million offer from Mark Cuban to buy the company.

How it Works: Users sign up through Facebook to create their free profile. Every day at noon, you’ll receive one match (a bagel) from a friend-of-a friend. You then have 24 hours to “Like” or “Pass” on the daily bagel, or even give the match to a friend.  If you miss one of your bagel dates, you can request to be rematched. Users can visit the CMB bean shop to buy coffee beans to pay for upgraded services at the cost of $1.99 to $24.99, but can also easily win free beans by recommending a bagel to a friend and liking their social media pages. Once matched,  you can then start texting with your match in a private chat, but remember to act quickly, as the chat is only active for 8 days.

Why we like it: Users look forward to receiving their daily “bagel” at lunch time. CMB believes your dating life, including your name, birthday and email should be private. They also claim that your friends are the best conduits for your dates, and that meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated. It also feels like you’re playing a fun game, as you receive coffee beans when you respond to a match.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

eHarmony Logo

9. eHarmony – Android, iOs and Windows

eHarmony is responsible for over 438 people getting married every day. Their free mobile app provides similar features to the desktop version, including signing up for free, getting matches, and filling out the questionnaire. eHarmony reports that users tend to access their mobile apps 5+ times throughout the day, as compared to twice a day on the laptop or desktop computer.

How it works: Singles download the app and then create their profile. You can upload photos from Facebook, receive daily matches, and use guided communication for free.  Premium paid members have the same functionality as the subscriber’s web version, where you can view photos, read and write emails, go through guided communication,  and see when a match last logged in.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use and the added “What If” feature lets you consider someone outside of your preferences. After all, what we say we want on digital paper isn’t always what we need.

Download Google Play

Download iOS

Download Windows Store

 

Happn10. Happn – Android, iOs, Windows Phone

Remember Craig’s List Missed Connections? Happn is a more modern day approach to matching with someone you’ve already crossed paths with, but never really connected. Every time you pass by a spot with another member IRL, you’ll get an instant push notification that another member is nearby and boom, you can meet instantly.  Some may find it very efficient. Others may not want to meet after a sweaty yoga class, but then again, they wouldn’t be on this app if that were the case. If you think you might miss out on a digital crush who hangs in the same h0od as you, but are on the shy side, this app is for you. Note: The app was created in France and is available in 25 cities around the world.  They are starting to expand in the U.S. and may not have rolled out in your city yet.

How it works: Download the app and log in to Facebook, where yo can edit which information in your Facebook profile that you want to appear in your bio. You must enable your location services for the app to work. Every time you cross paths with another member, it will appear on your timeline feed. You can like someone’s profile by tapping on the heart button. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll be notified and you’ll be considered in the crush stage. You can also view how many times your paths have crossed. If you want to take it a step further, men can pay to to send a charm. There is no cost to women at this point.  Charms are similar to Tinder’s “Super Like” feature, except you buy them in a package. Each charm is equal to using one credit.

Why we like it: You won’t have to wonder about the one who got away. You can also now sync with Instagram to see your potential date’s feeds and interests.

Download Android

Download iOs

Download Windows Phone

TastebudsHonorable Mention – Tastebuds – iOs

There was a great Shakespeare quote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Now you can celebrate #MusicMonday every day of the week with a potential date who has the same musical interests as you do.  Concert dates can be a lot of fun and sharing music is passion that many have on their list as a must-have. With this in mind, although Tastebuds is a social networking app, we feel it belongs in the dating category as you can share playlists and more with your potential date.

How it works: Users can sign up easily through Facebook or via email. You can send a message bomb for free to eight of your matches. Your music library can be added or you can add your favorite artists and bands manually. Searches can be fun as you can search by the name of the band that you’re a fan of and within a certain age criteria. Within seconds you can be matched with someone who also loves Pink Floyd and the Beatles.

Why we like it? Perhaps I’m biased as a former music radio DJ, but music is a shared experience. Who would want to go to a concert with someone who didn’t know who David Bowie was?

Download on iOs

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share?

Julie Spira is an online dating coach and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the creator and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Swiping Right can help you find your dream date.

Read more mobile dating advice.

Online Dating – Why Won’t Women Write Back?

Ask the Cyberdating Expert Radio ShowIn this week’s Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert column, a single man called in quite frantic and upset that he had been writing to women online and they never wrote back.

He’s wondering what’s wrong with him, why women aren’t interested in marriage anymore, and if there’s something wrong with his profile. He’s a member of three online dating sites, Match, PlentyofFish, and OkCupid.

On the spot, he signed up for The Flirt dating profile critique and I quickly analyzed his Match profile.

The interesting thing is, he was worried that his photos were bad. They really weren’t great, but the most surprising issue is, he’s a great catch and says he NEEDS to be married. When I questioned him as to why he wanted to get married and how long he had been divorced, he corrected me and said, he NEEDED to get married to survive. Without marriage, he couldn’t go on living. He had only been divorced for 6-months.

This great guy was in so much pain. I knew I needed to help him and build up his self-esteem and that one hour wouldn’t be enough. I also knew that I needed to manage his expectations and that there were plenty of women out there who would love to be married. He just hadn’t found them yet.

So why weren’t women writing back to him?

1. His profile photos were awful. He was  a good looking guy and the primary photo was so dark, you could hardly see his sweet face. He couldn’t afford a photographer and we had to work with what he had, at least for the time being.

What did we do?

I reviewed all of his photos and instantly lightened them up, cropped some of the photos so the focus was on him, and changed the order of the photos. I deleted the photo of him playing the guitar as he looked sad and his photo showed only half of his body and a dog in the center of the photo. The dog looked so sad, that all I could see and feel was a man probably playing a country music song to the tune of “Twang, twang, she broke my heart.”

That shot had to go, period. A woman wants to see a confident happy man that she can share her life with. The dog didn’t need center stage. In fact, a woman might think the dog sleeps in bed with her. All of the photos were captioned as they had been taken this year, so the women would know there was truth-in-advertising on his profile.

You see this guy is a pilot. Pilots, like firemen, are really sexy to women. When a photo showed more of the runway that him by the plane, it had to be cropped as well.

2. His bio was filled with too many questions that he required a woman to answer. I love it when someone asks a question in an Internet or mobile dating profile. It immediately triggers the action for someone to respond. However asking four direct questions made it look like he was in a deposition or job interview. It would be too much work for women to reply, so they just moved on to another email.

What did we do?

I deleted three of the direct questions which came close to begging a woman to be his girlfriend, took out the small talk and made sure there were specific descriptions of things he was passionate about.

3. His About Me Section Was Sloppy. On dating sites, it already lists your age, and on Match it states the age range you’re looking for.

His profile started with: I’m a male, 53, professional pilot, seeking a female for a relationship 43-59 within 50 miles. Are you the one that cares to go on that walk on the beach with me? My favorite season is summer and I would like to bring my dog Shiloh. Sound fun? Barbeque sandwich for me. Do you care for red cake?

What did we do?

I deleted his first sentence as it was redundant and mirrored the headline of his profile. It was obvious that he was a male. His age was already listed and by repeating that he was looking for a relationship 43-59 within 50 miles, it not only had been stated, but it looked like he was a guy with strict requirements. It couldn’t have been further than the truth.

Instead his new profile starts off with, “I’m a professional pilot.” It was intriguing enough to allow a woman to desire to continue reading the rest of the profile.

4. He only wrote to 5 women a day. When he told me that no one wrote back, it wasn’t entirely true. He actually received one reply to five emails that he’d sent out. That’s actually not a bad statistic. When I explained to him that typically only one out of ten emails are responded to, and he was ahead of the game, he was shocked.

What did we do?

I gave him the homework assignment of writing to ten women a day instead of five. This way he would get double the response than he did beforehand.  I explained that online dating is a numbers game. He needed to treat it like he was looking for a dream job, only he was looking for a wife.

This wonderful sweet kind successful 53-year old pilot is a great catch. He wants to get married, is taller than average at 6’5,” and will be the most loyal and wonderful husband to a lucky woman who has the same desires as he does. So ladies, don’t think there aren’t marriage-minded men out there.

I have hope for this man, but reminded him that patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Do you have a question for dating expert Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

OkCupid – How to Search for a User

OkCupid User NameOur friends at OkCupid had a bit of a digital facelift recently.  Among the changes to help you find love online more quickly, you might notice that you no longer can search for someone by their username anymore.

A recent study showed that LOVE is the number one most popular search term for single searching on OkCupid. But what if you suddenly can’t find his or her profile anymore?

While they’ve refined the site to help you browse for matches more easily,  taking a peek at that cute hunk or hottie that you have a digital crush on might be a little bit more difficult.

If you’re wondering how to find his or her Internet dating profile, the good news is you can still browse and search for a user, but getting there is a bit more complicated.

Here’s how to find a profile on OkCupid based on the username:

1. Log onto OkCupid on your desktop.

2.  Click on your profile thumbnail on the top right hand side of the screen.

OkCupid

3. A drop down box will appear, where you can select “Find a User.”

OkCupid

4.  Type in the user’s name in the box where it says search by username.

Ok Cupid Username

5.  If their profile is active, it will appear and you can now click on their profile.

To make it simpler, type in this URL below in your browser while logged on to OkCupid.  It will take you directly to the “Find a User” page. Remember, unless you’re an “A List” where you can browse anonymously, or are using the new Incognito premium feature, which hides your profile from being viewed by users who you haven’t liked or messaged, users will see that you recently visited their online dating profile.

https://www.okcupid.com/find-a-user

Are you using OkCupid? What do you think of the recent changes to their site?

To find out more about how to create an Irresistible Profile to find your dream date, visit IrresistibleProfiles.com.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more online and mobile dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 

 

 

 

 

#DateChat with Co-Host @Serena – Topic Starting Over Online

#DateChat with @Serena

It’s with great enthusiasm to announce that my friend Serena Ehrlich, known to most of you as @Serena on Twitter, will be co-hosting #DateChat on Thursday, March 5th at 5p/PT, 8p/ET.

This week’s topic will be Starting over Online: What to do when you’re newly single. How do you navigate online dating, not get frustrated with Tinder, OkCupid, and find quality dates online. We’ll be talking about the best dates, worst dates, and how to get noticed online.

We’ll also be talking about the new Tinder Plus: The Premium service just launched by Tinder for $9.99/month.

Read more about Tinder Plus here: Tinder Plus Launches: Let’s You Rewind Last Swipe

We know everyone is swiping left and right on Tinder, but are they really meeting up IRL? How can Tinder be successful now that they plan to monetize their app with ads for free users, while allowing paid users to go back and find that swipe made in error to the left and cast a wider net by allowing users to search in other cities and countries?

Meet our Co-host: Serena

Serena Ehrlich, Director of Social and Evolving Media, is responsible for Business Wire’s internal and external content marketing, ranging from PR programming to social media updates to content development and amplification. With more than 20 years of experience in the content distribution industry, Serena understands both sides of the content and news industry – from creating compelling content that activates audiences, to understanding how distribution can amplify and impact news results.

A 1991 graduate of Brandeis University, Serena is also the membership chair of the international Social Media Club and is a past board member of the Dallas and Los Angeles local NIRI (National Investor Relations Institute) boards of directors.

How to join us for #DateChat

It’s easy to join us for #DateChat. You can just search for the keyword of #DateChat on Twitter, hootsuite, tweetdeck or other social media management software, or take it a step further and go to TweetChat.com or Nurph.com and type in the hashtag of #DateChat. Both TweetChat and Nurph will show you the entire conversation of #DateChat users without having to type in the hashtag on each tweet. Make sure you’re also following @Serena and @JulieSpira.

See highlight’s of last week’s #DateChat on social media cheating

Last week, we had a great conversation on #DateChat with guest host @StephanSpeaks. Here are some highlights for your viewing pleasure.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and host of #DateChat every Thursday on Twitter at 5p/PT, 8p/ET. Julie was an early adopter of online dating, having created her first profile over 20 years ago. Today she helps singles on the dating scene with Irresistible Profiles for dating sites and helps them swipe right every day on Tinder.

OkCupid Relaunches OkTrends Blog – Reveals if Looks Matter

Love conceptOne of my favorite parts of OkCupid had been the fabulous data curated into blog posts by co-founder Christian Rudder on OkTrends.

For the past three years, OkTrends has gone into silence mode. Today, Rudder revealed data from their Internet dating user base showing that looks aren’t always what counts when it comes to communicating in an online dating site. Rudder announced, “We Experiment On Human Beings” as the title of the long-awaited post.

From OkCupid’s day of hiding photos, to suggestions of a higher percentage for a potential match, one thing we know for sure, the algorithms do have an impact while looking for love online.

Full blogpost here

Let’s take a look at the three different experiments.

1. Love is Blind, Or Should Be

On the 10th anniversary of OkCupid, they launched Crazy Blind Date, a mobile app. The basis of this was that you’d meet someone who’s face had been “mashed up” like a puzzle, so you didn’t know what they looked like. In celebration, OkCupid spent one day mashing up all of their members in an experiment, only to find that 44% of those wrote 1st messages to people, of which they had no idea what they looked like.

2. So What’s a Picture Worth?

OkCupid previously let users rate profiles based on looks and personality. Eventually, they changed it to rating based on looks only. What they found is that only 10% of people rated a profile based on it’s text. Does that mean that 90% of people rate profiles based on looks only? Understandably so. This is why all of the mobile dating apps have been so popular and game-like.

3. The Power of Suggestion

As a Digital Matchmaker, I spend hours-and-hours every day analyzing profiles to find the perfect match for my clients. They have to go by my word and recommendation to write to or respond to a flurry of potential dates because I strongly advised them to do so. This has resulted in singles dating outside their social circles and meeting men or women that they didn’t think was their type.

OkCupid seems to agree. By changing the suggested recommendations from one with a low match percentage to a higher match percentage, their users started to communicate with people that weren’t necessarily a match, based on the algorithms. Were they playing with your digital mind? Just a bit.

Time reports that Rudder will be back to business posting on the OkTrends blog every four weeks while waiting for his book Dataclysm: Who We Are to be released in September.

Are you rating profiles based on looks alone? Do percentages matter to you? Your comments are welcome.

Photo credit: Fotolia

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

I saw his text messages. Is he cheating or is it over?

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Radio Show

Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert

Dear Cyber Dating Expert,

I desperately need some online dating advice. I met a guy on OkCupid last week and we had the perfect date. The next day he reached out to hang out again and even introduced me to his engaged friends and we went on a double-date. That night we ended up sleeping together and I thought everything was going so well.

We continued to talk and he remained sweet and attentive. We made plans to meet up a few days later and I went to his place and we watched a movie. Again, he was very affectionate, held my hand, kissed me on the head/check, etc.

What threw me was when I saw his cell phone light up with text messages from random numbers he hadn’t saved to his phone. Immediately I knew these were probably other girls he was communicating with from OKC. My heart sank. I thought everything was great until I saw those texts! He seems SO into me, but now I feel like I have something to prove and other girls to beat out. I just don’t want to get involved and get my heart broken, but I like him and don’t want to lose out on getting to know him better.

Read: He Texts Me Daily, Are We in a Relationship?

Do I play it cool, let him take the reins for now? Or should I be proactive & initiate more dates with the chance of coming off aggressive/desperate?

Please help!

Amber

Dear Amber,

Thanks for your email.

I understand why you’d be upset about seeing text messages you believe were from other women that your new guy might be chatting with.

Because you both met on an online dating site, unless you’ve had the conversation about being exclusive, assume that you’re not. After all, you were only dating for one week when you noticed these anonymous texts.

Sleeping together while you both have active online dating profiles isn’t something that I recommend, unless you don’t mind if he’s seeing other people.

Once a woman sleeps with a man, the hormones kick in and women get very attached and bonded, even if the guy isn’t really good for you. When the sex is good, it’s natural to hope and think that he won’t want to be with anyone else. Maybe he’s ignoring those text messages, after all you’ve only known him for a short while.

My advice is to keep it cool and date him if he asks you out on a proper date, but don’t sleep with him again. Sure you can hug, kiss, fool around, etc. Please don’t make a big deal out of the text messages, as men don’t like a high-drama, clingy or possessive woman in their lives. Just show him that you’re the confident great woman that you are. If he calls, return his calls. If he texts, return his texts. If he asks you out and you’re free, go out on a date with him, but let him know that you like him, but realize that you aren’t into casual sex if it comes up. Let him know how much you’re enjoying getting to know him. I know it’s hard to go backwards, but it’s worse to sleep with him and then wonder if he’s logging on to find someone to sleep with the next night. That’s the risk with online dating. If he tells you it’s not acceptable, then he doesn’t really want you as his girlfriend. He might just be looking for a booty call or friends with benefits relationship. Throwing yourself at him won’t help. It will kill the chances to have a relationship with this guy. Being great in the bedroom doesn’t mean he won’t look elsewhere. Being the confident girl he can’t be without will make him want you to be his girl. Let him take the lead and initiate dates with you.

If he really wants to make you his girlfriend, he’ll take down his profile and do whatever it takes. At this point, you haven’t set your boundaries so he doesn’t think it’s a requirement. Don’t be in competition with other women. Just be yourself and feel great about who you are. Please don’t get possessive or start to interrogate him about his text messages or cell phone. Insecurity will kill a relationship. Since he didn’t put those phone numbers in his phone to save them, nor is he hiding his phone, they probably don’t mean much to him anyway. Still, I know it hurts.

I hope this helps and please do keep me posted.

Julie

Do you have an online dating question for Julie Spira? Send your questions to CyberDatingExpert.com/contact and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter for more dating advice.

 

ABC News – Mobile Apps to Speed Up Your Search

Julie Spira and Elex MichaelsonIt was an honor and joy to be interviewed by Elex Michaelson of ABC-7 television in Los Angeles about the popularity of mobile dating apps.

As Tinder continues to take the world by storm, the feature included an interview with Tinder’s co-founder, Justin Mateen, as well as featured other mobile dating apps including eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, Grouper, Grindr, and Coffee Meets Bagel.

Mobile dating is now over a $200 million dollar industry. Are you wondering how it all works?

Watch the video below for highlights.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and mobile dating expert who was an early adopter of Internet dating. She created her first profile almost 20 years ago and coaches singles on the dating scene with her Irresistible Profiles programs and her Mobile Dating BootCamps. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Love is Blind, But OkCupid Isn’t – Crazy Blind Date Mobile

Crazy Blind DateWith online dating, we’ve been told it’s all about the photo, as both men and women are visual.

Today, our friends at OkCupid have launched their Crazy Blind Date mobile app, where you go back to the basics of when your grandmother fixed you up, along with a technology twist.

In honor of the launch, you’ll feel a bit naked when you log on to OkCupid today, as the site celebrates “Love is Blind Day.” OkCupid has removed all ten million photos on their members’ profiles to create awareness of their new app.

Sam Yagan, OkCupid founder and Cyber-Dating Expert friend says, “People will say that Crazy Blind Date is too crazy.” He adds, “But for a whole generation of young singles, it’s going to be a great adventure, and a great compliment to online dating.”

One thing we know for sure, is that mobile dating does speed up the process to meet someone IRL. In our recent Mobile Dating BootCamp, several of the participants used OkCupid’s mobile app and other mobile dating apps to try to find love from the convenience of their mobile phones. This app could help you if you’re looking for a last minute date or don’t want to be dateless on Valentine’s Day.

OkCupid says that Crazy Blind Date takes less than a minute of work:

  1. Download the Crazy Blind Date app for iPhone or Android
  2. Choose which nights this week you want to go on dates.
  3. Pick your favorite bar or coffee shop.
  4. Go on with your day; Crazy Blind Date does the rest.

Users are encouraged to share their dates on Twitter with the hashtag of #CrazyBlindDate and fees for the dates will apply.

Are you ready to go back to blind dating?

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She’s the host of Online Dating BootCamp and Mobile Dating BootCamp. Julie creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @Juliespira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

Dating in an OkCupid World – 5 Dos and Don’ts

Dating in an OkCupid WorldI’m often asked what’s the best dating site by singles that I meet and coach. While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer there are a few favorite Internet dating sites that I’ve been recommending. OkCupid is clearly one of my Top 5 favorites. Their mobile app, Ok Locals was included in the recent Mobile Dating BootCamp and was favorably received by the single contestants.

So when Britney Fitzgerald from Huffington Post Tech asked me for my opinion on OkCupid Dating No-No’s, I was happy to chime in. I shared not only my professional advice, but also those from the recent?Mobile Dating BootCamp focus group which was held last month in Beverly Hills.

A main feature of OkCupid is answering their intriguing and often thought provoking questions. While you’re not judged and you’ll never fail the quiz, the site does give you percentiles for a Match, Friend, and Enemy. Having a match that shows you’re over 80% compatible usually raises some digital eyebrows in a good way and is a terrific ice-breaker to contact someone you might have a ?crush on.

So without further digital adieu, here are five of the 11 Dos and Don’ts for finding love on OkCupid.

Full article on Huffington Post

Article Excerpts

1. Don’t Answer all of the Questions

Some questions are best left unanswered. Be careful with those that seem too political or intimate in nature because this data is all over the Internet: You need to think every time you push the send button. ?For public answers, you should only pick the questions you would tell your mother [the answer to].

2. Don’t Exaggerate

There is a huge difference between fibbing about your height vs. your martial status. Single is single, and divorced is divorced. There is no status for Single–Divorce Pending.

3. Don’t Use Old Profile Pictures

If you’re thinking of putting up a profile pic from 2004 — reconsider. They are going to look you up on Google; they are going to look you up on Facebook. ?You’re thanked a lot for being recognizable and having truth in the advertising. So skip out on that glamour shot from the ’90s. And men — most of us agree that the muscle shot in front of the bathroom mirror is an automatic “skip.”

4. Don’t Be a Rude Rejector

Just like in real life, there are right and wrong ways to reject someone in the virtual world. I don’t believe in burning digital bridges. Why should you have to email someone and say, “Hey you’re not my type.”?Dont say you’re not my type — you haven’t met yet! But if you really aren’t attracted, ?just move on. Don’t message them back, or simply thank?them for the communication and wish them luck in their search.

5. Don’t Check Your Profile Obsessively

OkCupid’s popular free edition of its dating service comes with a few catches, one of which includes people knowing when you check into the site. While possible soulmates won’t know how long you’ve been online, they can view the time you last logged on. It can be very obsessive and dangerous to your emotional health. For example, what if you go on a great date only to realize that 30 minutes after you parted ways, your date accessed the site two more times that night? ?Take a deep breath and don’t jump to a digital conclusion.

Many thanks to Huffington Post for being included in this terrific article. Click here to read all 11 tips and feel free to chime in with your thoughts.

Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie was an early adopter of online dating and posted her first profile in 1994. Today, Julie creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

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