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Quote of the Day – #QOTD

Today’s Quote: “A woman knows the face of a man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. ~Honore de BalzacQuote of the Day

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Julie Spira Talks Online Dating With Charles Tendell

Ask the Cyber-Dating ExpertIf you missed our radio interview on “Hacked” on the Charles Tendell show on Denver’s Talk Radio 1690 KDMT in Denver, here’s the replay for your listening pleasure.

In this one hour segment I provided tips for online dating profiles, safety, how to spot a “catfish” and how to create an irresistible online dating profile to find your dream date.

Listen Here

You’ll hear how I told Charles the story of how I became the pioneer of online dating, even before the days of Match and eHarmony. I also provided listeners with tips to be successful with Internet dating with the enormous amount of members flocking to dating sites and mobile apps.

Since many singles are looking for a different type relationship, whether it’s a long-term relationship, or casual dating, we discussed which sites are the best for you. Is Tinder just for hookups? Hear my explanation.

For the best online dating advice, I do recommend truth-in-advertising, as these days daters are hopping over to Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram, and other social networking sites to see if your photos and profiles match up.

Read the full transcript here:

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Bumble Now Makes Men Reply or Match Disappears

Bumble 24 hour replyTo help prevent ‘ghosting’ dating app Bumble has just evened the playing field for the guys with their new “24 Hour Reply” feature.

The app, where women make the first move, had originally required women to reply to a mutual match within 24 hours or the match would expire. The guys on the other digital hand, could wait to reply to the women as long as they wanted to.

As reported on Mashable, Bumble’s CEO Whitney Wolfe explained that men had “essentially forever” to respond to the women’s initial emails keeping the women waiting, or resulting in guys not replying at all.

Since Bumble’s launch, women have made the first move over 50 million times on the mobile dating app.

Now, Men Must Reply in 24 Hours on Bumble

Now the men will also be on a 24-hour notice as the countdown clock to reply to women will start once they receive an email.

Wolfe told Mashable that with LGBTQ couples, either person can start the communication within 24 hours, but the person who receives the first message must also adhere to the new 24-hour rule as well.

Earlier this year, I was interviewed by ABC News about Bumble and how it was empowering women everywhere and had become a favorite among men, who wire tired of swiping right and getting matches, but few replies from the women.

Watch: Why Women Like Bumble on ABC

The 24- hour timer will make men step up to the plate, or the match will disappear, forever.

I’ve always said, “the squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” This puts this strategy to the test.

Bumble 24 hours

Source: Bumble

Bumble still will be empowering women by requiring that they make the first move when matched.

Earlier this year they added a new social networking feature to help you find a same sex friend to hang out with, expanding their service outside of dating.

Related: Bumble Helps You Find Your BFF

Guys, are you ready to step up to the digital plate and start chatting with the women?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for two decades. Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and has been featured in the news over 1000 times on the subject of dating in a digital world.

Follow @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter for dating advice.

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7 Must Do Dating Tips for Spring Fever

Spring Fever

It’s official! Spring starts this weekend and we are sure ready for the new season.

It’s springtime and we all know that spring fever is in the air and many singles are hoping to find love this season, or at least fill their date cards.

Now that you’ve moved the clocks forward to daylight savings time, it’s time to think about sunset dates, changing your wardrobe to lighter colors, and getting out to smell the digital roses.

Here are 6 Must-Do Online Dating Tips for Spring

1. Swipe Right

It’s time to turn up the volume and download a few mobile dating apps and start flirting. By now most of you have either used the hot mobile app Tinder, where you swipe to the right to connect with a potential date, or swipe to the left to send them into Internet heaven. It’s time to join the digital party. We can help you with our Swiping Right service to tweak your Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel or other mobile dating apps.

Don’t forget the mobile versions of the dating sites you already belong to. If you’re a member of eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, Zoosk, or other dating sites, make sure to keep the push notifications on so you can find a date in a digital minute.

2. Log on Twice Daily

Take one hour twice a day and log on to your favorite dating site or scroll through your mobile dating apps. Did you know that just having your profile appearing as online often will raise your visibility in a search to potential dates?  Ready, set, log on.

3. Turn on Chat

Whether you’re on Facebook or are on an Internet dating site or mobile dating app, make sure your settings are configured for you to be able to chat with someone IRL. Download Facebook Messenger on your mobile phone if you haven’t done so and start chatting with someone you might have a digital crush on. Every time you hear that chime on your phone or computer, it just might bring a smile to your face.

4. Cast a Wider Net (and Zip Code)

Not getting much activity in your inbox? Expand your search from 15 miles to 60 or even 200 miles. If you find the one, it’s worth the commute, or even relocating for love. Are you limiting yourself to searching for a narrow age range? Revise your search parameters by a few years. That’s right, 5 years lower and 5 years higher than what you’ve already been looking for might be a good idea. If you’ve upgraded to Tinder Plus, their new feature allows you to add a new location to search in, so if you’re planning on visiting friends or family in New York, you can add that location to start getting matched with singles in another city. By the time you arrive, your date card should be filled.

5. Reorder Your Photos

If you have 3-5 of your favorite photos on your profile and can’t find time to grab a new one from your Facebook page, change the primary photo so your profile looks fresh. When you get the time, add a few more recent shots, wearing something colorful and retire those photos that are 5 years old, or more!

READ: WHEN IN DOUBT, WEAR RED

6. View and Hotlist Profiles

Some people just don’t like writing emails or making the first contact. If you’re a bit shy about initiating contact, view profiles of those you might be interested in and check out your suggested matches.  Chances are they’ll see that you’ve viewed them and will contact you if they’re interested in you. Take it one step further and rate them with 5 stars or put them on your hotlist. Often they’ll be notified, will be flattered, and you just might put a date on your calendar.

 

7. Watch Your Grammar

A study conducted by online dating site and app Zoosk of 9000 online daters found that 72% of users were turned off by blatant spelling errors. Almost 1/4 thought poor grammar was lazy and 93% of singles would be happy to receive a text with proper punctuation. poorly worded messages or messages with typos and grammatical errors. Don’t be that lazy dater who doesn’t appear to be taking  your digital conversation seriously.

Related: National Grammar Day

The good news is Zoosk found that response rates for opening messages sent with an exclamation point are 10% higher than average!

If you still need some help to make your profile stand out from the rest, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles to help you find your dream date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, join us for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter, and visit our Facebook page.

Photo credit: Fotolia.com

National Grammar Day – Why Grammar Matters in Dating

 

FullSizeRender

We’ve all gotten one of these grammatical travesties from an online crush before, either on a mobile dating app or via text.  It’s one of those dreadful parts of dating, right?

In honor of National Grammar Day, we’re here to help you with your digital love life.

Proper grammar is one of the most important aspects for singles on dating sites. Did you know that nearly half of singles consider poor spelling and grammar to be a huge deal breaker?

Before you add in that extra emoticon, we’re here to help raise awareness on “National Grammar Day” to help you find love online and IRL.

According to a recent study by Zoosk, a majority of singles (72%) are turned off by blatant spelling errors, and nearly 1/4 think poor grammar means you’re chatting with someone who is uneducated or not so smart. As far as punctuation goes, of the 9,441 respondents to the Zoosk survey, 93% of singles would be happy if they received a text message with proper punctuation.

The study also found that response rates for opening messages sent with an exclamation point are 10% higher than average!

Separately, eHarmony teamed up with Grammarly, the world’s leading online proofreader, to conduct a grammar study to analyze poor grammar in dating profiles. After looking at 10,000 profiles from both men and women, Grammarly found that women make almost twice as many grammatical errors per every 100 words than men do, but are less likely to be judged by men for their grammatical errors.

As little as two spelling errors on a profile can reduce a guy’s chance of getting a response by 14%, but women’s spelling and grammar errors didn’t have an impact on their chances at a response at all.

Here are a few tips on how to clean up your online dating profile and communication so that you won’t experience any grammar faux pas that could get in the way of attracting a digital crush.

Related: Rules of Netiquette: Love and Grammar

1. Use Exclamation Points!

As found in the Zoosk study, using an exclamation point can increase your chances of getting a response. Try “Hi Stacy!” instead of “Hi Stacy…” for a more positive reaction.

2. Proper Punctuation

Ending sentences with proper punctuation is actually preferred, even though some may think ending a text message with a period could come off as aggressive.  Another important piece of punctuation to remember is the Oxford comma. Trust us (and Grammarly) that there’s a difference between “I love cooking my family and my dog” and “I love cooking, my family, and my dog.”

3. YOMAFIO (You Only Make a First Impression Once) and LOL

Zoosk’s study found that using the acronym “YOLO,” meaning “you only live once,” decreases response rates by 47% and they recommended that you drop it from your dating vocabulary. However, “LOL” passed the test, as it increased responses by 25%.

Related: National Punctuation Day: Dating and Grammar

4. Your vs. You’re

We all remember the lesson we got from Ross Geller on that one episode of Friends (specifically, The One With The Jellyfish). There’s a very important difference between “your” and “you’re.” The differences between there, their, and they’re, or then and than, as well as to and too are also very important to know.

5. Take Your Time

Smartphones have a full keyboard and unlimited characters, so there’s no reason not to spell out what you want to say. Using shortcuts, like “u” in place of “you,” shows that you don’t care to take the time to write out a full sentence. You don’t want your potential date to feel like you’re too lazy to properly communicate with them. Beware of auto-correct, as it can bite you in the digital tush and make the smartest of singles seem a bit dumber on a good day.

Remember to always put your best digital foot forward and take the time to spell out what you want to say and your spelling and grammar will help you charm your way into your online love’s heart.

Happy National Grammar Day!

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. Julie’s the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Randi Zuckerberg Sings Online Dating Parody on SiriusXM

Cyber Love SongIn honor of Valentine’s Day, SiriusXM radio host of Dot Complicated, Randi Zuckerberg decided to add some musical fun and humor to our online dating segment.

Joined with Broadway star Aaron Finley, the two sang their hearts out to the tune of “Summer Nights” from Grease.

As a radio show guest, I was humming in the background from Los Angeles with a smile on my face and shared 7 tech gifts for your Valentine.

Yes, with online dating, there are so many apps and sites. Sometimes you need to laugh about the digital dating process. From Christian Mingle to Farmers Only; Tinder to Uber Pool, this song’s got you covered.

As you swipe right, listen to this adorable “Dot Complicated” original song about Internet dating written by Randi Zuckerberg and Eric Kuhn. Since there are so many dating apps, sometimes you need to have a sense of humor about finding love online.

In the show, we talked about online dating profiles, mobile dating apps, confidence in dating, and which profile photos will capture his or her attention.

You can listen to this Valentine’s radio segment in its entirety on SiriusXM on:

Saturday, February 13th at  9pm ET/6pm PT on Stars channel 109

Sunday, February 14th 10am ET/7am PT on Business Radio channel 111

(Song courtesy of SiriusXM and available to listen to on SoundHound)

Full radio show recap on Dot Complicated

Follow Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter for dating advice

Sign up for the the Free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, just re-released and completely revised for Valentine’s Day with new bonus dating advice and a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending.

Listen to Julie Spira on Marilu Henner Show

J and MIt’s peak season for love and for new signups for online dating sites and mobile dating apps.

We are thrilled that Marilu Henner had Julie on as a guest again on the Marilu Henner Show.

Julie talked about the latest trends in dating, shared details about her magical epilogue in her newly released book, and gave online dating profile dos and don’ts.

This show will get you ready for Valentine’s.

Listen to the show here.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Like our Facebook page.

Just Released! The Perils of Cyber-Dating Audio Book

Perils of Cyber-Dating Audio BookIt’s the New Year and that means singles are signing up in record numbers to online dating sites and mobile dating apps with the hope to snag a date by Valentine’s.

At Cyber-Dating Expert Headquarters, we’re excited to announce our new audio book for The Perils of Cyber-Dating was just released, in time for Valentine’s Day.

Seven years after our bestseller came out, we went into the studio and spent four months in post-production with The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love OnlineIt’s available on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes.

You’ll follow my journey as I attempt to replace the “Love of My Life” with an Internet mate.

The book is complete with online dating advice, fairy tale stories, a few heartbreaks, a lot of laughter, and a surprise NEW Epilogue to warm your heart and help you believe in love and happily ever after.

Here’s our book trailer with some highlights. P.S. Listen all the way to the end.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Listen to the full Book Trailer with more excerpts

Available on Amazon | Audible | iTunes

6 Online Dating Tips for Spring Fever

Spring FeverHappy Spring!

Now that we’ve changed the clocks to daylight savings time, it’s time to think about sunset dates, changing your wardrobe to lighter colors and getting out to smell the digital roses.

It’s springtime and we all know that Spring fever is in the air and many singles are hoping to find love this season, or at least fill their date card.

With this in mind, here are some online dating tips and advice to help ramp up your cyberdating search for the new season.

Swipe Right

It’s time to turn up the volume and download a few mobile dating apps and start flirting. By now most of you have either used the hot mobile app Tinder, where you swipe to the right to connect with a potential date, or swipe to the left to send them into Internet heaven. It’s time to join the digital party. We can help you with our Swiping Right service to tweak your Tinder or other mobile dating profile.

WATCH MOBILE APPS TO SPEED UP YOUR SEARCH

Don’t forget the mobile versions of the dating sites you already belong to. If you’re a member of eHarmony, JDate, Match, OkCupid, PlentyOfFish, Zoosk, or other dating sites, make sure to keep the push notifications on so you can find a date in a digital minute.

READ: TINDER PLUS LAUNCHES. REWIND LAST SWIPE FOR A PRICE

Log on Twice Daily

Take one hour twice a day and log on to your favorite dating site or scroll through your mobile dating apps. Did you know that just having your profile appearing as online often will raise your visibility in a search to potential dates?  Ready, set, log on.

Turn on Chat

Whether you’re on Facebook or are on an Internet dating site, make sure your settings are configured for you to be able to chat with someone IRL. Download Facebook Messenger on your mobile phone if you haven’t done so and start chatting with someone you might have a digital crush on. Every time you hear that chime on your phone or computer, it just might bring a smile to your face.

Cast a Wider Net (and Zip Code)

Not getting much activity in your inbox? Expand your search from 15 miles to 60 or even 200 miles. If you find the one, it’s worth the commute, or even relocating for love. Are you limiting yourself to searching for a narrow age range? Revise your search parameters by 10 years. That’s right, 5 years lower and 5 years higher than what you’ve already been looking for. If you’ve upgraded to Tinder Plus, their new feature allows you to add a new location to search in, so if you’re planning on visiting New York, you can add that location to start getting matched with singles in another city. By the time you arrive, your date card should be filled.

Reorder Your Photos

If you have 3-5 of your favorite photos on your profile and can’t find time to grab a new one from your Facebook page, change the primary photo so your profile looks fresh. When you get the time, add a few more recent shots, wearing something colorful and retire those photos that are 5 years old, or more!

READ: WHEN IN DOUBT, WEAR RED

View and Hotlist Profiles

Some people just don’t like writing emails or making the first contact. If you’re a bit shy about initiating contact, view profiles of those you might be interested in and check out your suggested matches.  Chances are they’ll see that you’ve viewed them and will contact you if they’re interested in you. Take it one step further and rate them with 5 stars or put them on your hotlist. Often they’ll be notified, will be flattered, and you just might put a date on your calendar.

If you still need some help to make your profile stand out from the rest, contact us about our Irresistible Profiles to help you find your dream date.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She was an early adopter of online dating and has been helping singles find love on the Internet for 20 years. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter, join us for #DateChat on Thursdays at 5p/PT, 8p/ET, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter, and visit our Facebook page.

Photo credit: Fotolia.com

Countdown to Valentine’s Day – How to Snag a Date

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.com

Valentine’s Day. Love it, or hate it?

We’re about one month away from the most romantic holiday of the year.

Here’s our Valentine’s Survival Guide.

If you’re single, there’s no need to hide under the covers. If you’re dating someone, but he hasn’t asked you to be his Valentine just yet, here are some tips to enjoy the day, regardless of your relationship status. Remember, Valentine’s is on a weekend this year and it’s also during President’s Day weekend, so think big and be optimistic.

1. Ramp up Your Online Search

Let’s face it, everyone seems to be online theses days, so if you’re not logging on EVERY day, checking your matches and responding quickly to his emails, some other girl just might get his attention faster. It’s true what they say that the squeaky wheel gets the deal. If you can carve out time to go to the gym, you should be able to schedule time to log on daily. Make sure you’ve signed up for notifications of when someone has emailed you or made you their favorite so you can respond quickly. Ditch the old waiting game rules. This is how the digital dating world words.

2. Keep Swiping Right

If you’re on Tinder, Hinge, or are using the mobile dating apps from your favorite online dating site, make more of an effort to log on and swipe right to your matches. It’s really a numbers game. Unless your match is advertising for a hookup or looks like an ax murderer, swipe right and take a moment to say hello. A guy will be flattered to see the notification that you’re digging him digitally. Remember to take your relationship from online to offline so you can meet IRL.

3. Attend Singles Events

The one thing about singles events is, everyone is in the same boat. They’re single and are hoping to connect with someone. Check out Match.com’s Stir events in your city, RSVP to a MeetUp for a subject you’re passionate about, and attend business networking events. The more you’re out there in the public, the more opportunities you have to flirt with a potential date. Remember not to be too coy. Be bold and smile. Dr. Pat Allen, author of
“Getting to I Do,” suggests the five-second stare. It may feel like an eternity, but it may bring you closer to that cute guy across the room. P.S. Remember to wear red! It’s the color of love and romance and is known to attract men.

Related: Read Valentine’s Survival Guide

4. Text an Ex

Did you know that 20% of singles do text an ex on or around Valentine’s Day? So if both of you are single, why not get together and go down memory lane. Make sure you’re on the same page and just enjoy the evening. You may not be rekindling, but the familiarity might just make it a fun evening rather than flying solo.

5. Don’t Go Overboard

From going to an amusement park to ride the Ferris Wheel to taking a cooking class or going ice skating, make Valentine’s Day a no-pressure experience if you’re in a new relationship and aren’t exclusive yet. There’s no need to break the bank.

Related: Read 10 Fun Valentine’s Date Ideas

Being single on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. Sure you go into stores and see nothing but boxes of red candy and roses throughout the grocery stores, but a new survey from U.K. online dating site Smooch.com shows that only 10% of the 2000 singles polled actually love Valentine’s Day. Are the other 90% pretending to go along with the program?

Grab your BFF’s, dress in pink or red, and head to the movies or a concert together. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about love. It’s about spending quality time with someone you really like.

Are you a fan or foe of Valentine’s Day?

Photo credit: Fotolia

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of online dating and creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

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