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Summer Dating Profile Tips You Can Make Instantly

Summer Dating Tips

Summer starts this week, and at Cyber-Dating Expert HQ, we always see an uptick in new clients looking for love online.

Don’t just take our word for it, as our friends at Match have predicted that Sunday, July 8th will be 20% busier than Valentine’s Day based on 20+ years of data.

If you don’t experience fireworks with someone special on 4th of July, you’ll have an opportunity to find summer love BIG TIME a few days later, and we’re here to help you look your best.

RELATED: 5 HOT TIPS FOR SUMMER LOVE

What should you do to get ready for summer fun?

  1. Update your existing profile now to get ready with new photos wearing summer apparel.
  2. Include some of your favorite summer activities, such as beach barbecues, fly fishing, or hiking.
  3. Change your profile to include favorite date ideas, such as going to an outdoor concert, an amusement park, or riding a tandem bicycle.
  4. If you have a summer vacation booked, include how excited you are to travel to that destination.
  5. Include your favorite flavor of ice cream or frozen yogurt, as it’s a hint of where you should go on a date that extends into dessert.

RELATED: 10 ABSOLUTELY FUN SUMMER DATE IDEAS

There’s something magical about sunshine, beach or lake walks, and finding a summer romance that will last through all of the seasons.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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Photo credit: Fotolia

Joanna Coles Has New Rules for Finding Love in the Digital Age

Dating should be simple in today’s device-attached world with singles overly glued to their smartphones.

Does this mean finding a love online should be as easy as a few right swipes?

With the enormous and colorful bouquet of singles using dating apps and those hanging their hats on dating sites, it’s a big, beautiful digital playground, but how do you find your needle in the digital haystack?

To help with the cause, Joanna Coles, former editor in chief of Cosmopolitan and current chief content officer of Hearst magazines, published a new set of rules to help singles find love IRL.

In her new book, Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in a Digital World, Coles compares food and dating in a menu-style list of 15 new flavorful rules and advises singles to use their love calories wisely to have an overall healthy life.

I spoke recently spoke to Coles about her new book and why the search for ‘the one’ is so exhausting.

JS: In your book, you make the dating process more fun, by comparing it to a perfect delicious menu and going on a love diet. Why are food and dating so similar?

JC: I think food and dating are similar because we have huge appetites for both. We can’t live without them. When they are delicious, nothing tastes better. When they are junky and toxic, they put us down. You need to use your love calories wisely.

JS: How did you come up with this idea?

JC: I spent a lot of time at Cosmo hearing about dating apps and what they were doing to people. They were swiping endlessly to make a connection, but women were having lengthy text relationships and spending a month or more texting back-and-forth. Then when they’d meet, it was often a disappointment.

JS: What’s your opinion of dating apps?

JC: Dating apps help us meet more people you wouldn’t run up against, but it can feel transactional, like supermarket shopping. People are still searching and craving true intimacy. Dating apps are great as long as you don’t think you’ll find ‘the one.’ with one swipe. Let the app and algorithms do their work. They’re a wonderful arrow in your quiver and can greatly expand your social network.

JS: You believe singles should stop texting and get on the phone. Why is the phone date so important?

JC: The benefit of phone dates is enormous. People think they can fast-forward or microwave the first stages of the relationship. With texting, you get a false sense of intimacy that’s one-dimensional. When you move to a phone date, it takes it to two-dimensions. Singles bring so many expectations to these phone dates and real-life dates with the hope that they will be “the one.” You will know so much just by hearing the sound of their voice.

JS: You list 15 new rules or love hacks. What are you five favorite rules?

JC: 1. Stop with the comfort foods. It’s okay to be a little hungry.

Sleeping with an ex is like eating a doughnut at 4 pm. It’s easy to reach out into your past to get something sweet and familiar, but one hour later, you’re filled with remorse and are still hungry for the real nutrition.



The bottom line: You don’t have to sleep with your ex.

JC: 2. Hookups are like french fries.

There’s no such thing as a casual hookup. Once you have sex with people, feelings start getting involved. Hookups and french fries are both delicious in the moment, but you’ll wake up full of dater’s remorse.

The bottom line: It’s OK to have a hook-up every once in a while if you can handle it.

JC: 3. Porn is like chewing gum—all artificial flavor.

Porn sex is not real sex. It’s done from the viewfinder of the camera, and not from the point of what feels good. Eating ‘Chicken McNuggets’ because you’re hungry isn’t the same as eating organic chicken.

The bottom line: Porn isn’t a role model for intimacy.

JC: 4. Look for relationship role models.

Dating is like being on a job interview, where a future employer will ask, “Who’s your role model?” You know who your relationship role model is, but you’d never ask your date who their role model is.

To find your relationship role model, Coles suggests you jot down a list of couples you admire and those you see supporting each other. They could be your parents or a mentor. Share your relationship role model with your date. Then, ask your him or her who their role model is and listen to their answer.

The goal is to look for someone with similar qualities as your role model.

The bottom line: It’s a unique question to ask to determine your date’s values.

JC: 5. Life is a feast. Take your place at the table.

Embrace imperfection and find a mate who loves you for yours.

The bottom line: Finding love is like fine dining, where take the time to go through all of the courses on the menu.

Not everyone is perfect, but someone will be perfect for you.

The big takeaway from the book is to not solely on dating apps, to pick up the phone to hear the sound of someone’s voice, and to realize you’re on a journey to find love by creating a better quality and happier life. 

 CLICK HERE to purchase a copy of Love Rules.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

eHarmony Survey Says Over Half of Couples are Very Happy

eHarmony Happiness

Just how happy are couples in 2018?

A new poll commissioned by eHarmony and led by Harris Interactive shows good news for millennial couples.

“The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America” of 1000 couples reveals that 64 percent of Americans are “very happy” in their romantic relationships, with a partner or spouse with almost half being happy with their sex lives as well.

For an online dating site that has the sole goal of creating couples for long term relationships or marriage, the news is good that love and intimacy are thriving.

I spoke with Jeannie Assimos, Vice President, Content for eHarmony, who said the quality of people is very high on their site. “The intention is for our members to be there and spend time and thought into it,” said Assimos. ” Our singles are invested in finding a relationship.”

With Over 70% logins on their mobile app, you no longer have to answer 250 questions as a member, however Assimos says the matches will be better if you answer more questions. 

RELATED: 7 Quotes for Happiness Day

How did eHarmony describe perfectly happy?

Relationship status

“Tend to be on their first marriage, and they married young (‘for love’) while being very well
acquainted with their spouse/partner prior to marriage … seemingly they spent time getting to know each other first. They are likely to be exactly the same age and share many interests.”

● More likely than average to be married
● Their relationship length is significantly shorter than average
● Married at a younger than average age but knew their spouse for longer than average
before they got married
● Much more likely than average to be their first marriage
● Standard reasons for marrying (most likely ‘for love’)
● More likely than average to be in love with their spouse/partner and satisfied with their
relationship

Things they do together as a couple

“They participate in lots of activities with their spouse/partner, and have a shared interest in sports and keeping fit. Despite having kids, they make time for their relationship with regular date nights and they are not shy about displaying their happiness, being more likely to hold hands than other couples.”

RELATED: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

● Team sports
● Gym/exercise classes
● Camping
● Game nights
● Particularly likely to have regular date nights and hold hands when they are out together

So keep those date nights scheduled on your calendar, even if you’re taking turns cooking a romantic meal for each other.

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Would You Break Up Before Valentine’s Day?

valentine's BreakupValentine’s Day might be my favorite holiday, but not everyone feels the same.

One of you might still be paying off credit card bills from the December holiday season, while the other is expecting a ring, there might be an explosion on the 12th or 13th.

Many couples in relationships feel the huge pressure of stepping up to a deeper commitment when they’re not on the same page with their partner, especially on Valentine’s Day.

If you feel this way, you’re not alone. It’s also proposal season, where 6 million people are expected to get engaged on February 14th. 

If ring shopping isn’t on your mind, or in your budget, it might be time to have “the talk.”

If you’re single, just seeing candy hearts, chocolates, and flowers in the grocery store is enough to put your heads under the covers.

RELATED: The Post-Valentine’s Breakup

On KABC 7, Eyewitness News, I spoke with Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva on everything Valentine’s.

When asked why so many people break up before Valentine’s Day, I weighed in with my thoughts about the day so many either love, or hate.

We’ve got you covered in the Valentine’s Survival Guide, regardless of your relationship status.

View Full Interview

RELATED: 7 Ways to Find a Date by Valentine’s Day

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 24 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

Is it Too Late to Ask? Valentine’s Day Cut-off Rule

Valentine's Day - CyberDatingExpert.com

Valentine’s Day is five days from now, and the Super Bowl memories have already faded away.

Have you asked your date to be your Valentine yet?

If not, are you aware that there is a “cut-off” rule for when to decide who you will be spending February 14th with?

If you have watched Curb Your Enthusiasm, you might recall that Larry David discussed the cut-off rule in an episode. They determined 9:30-10:00pm for the cut-off time to phone a friend. It became a heated discussion.

The same ‘cut-off’ theory applies to Valentine’s Day.

In my online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, one of my rules of netiquette was the cut-off rule.

This rule applied to the most common misrepresentation in an online dating profile – the accuracy of your age.  Although I believe in authenticity, I had decided that 5 years was the maximum amount of years that you could take off your age in your profile, if you felt you needed to fit into a search.

I added that you need to be honest in the body of your email, on the phone, or certainly the latest by the first-date. I don’t promote lying on your profile, I just know that many singles do.

RELATED: Watch Valentine’s Survival Guide

Getting back to Valentine’s Day. When is it too late to ask the woman you are dating out for Wednesday night?

Here’s my relationship advice. I took a poll during the Super Bowl posing this question.

Most men felt they could wait until the last day, if there was chemistry with someone they had just met. I disagree. I believe one week is the maximum, and that once the Super Bowl was over, it was time to put the date in ink on the calendar and reserve whatever remaining restaurants were available at such a late date.

Think about it.

Most restaurants book up a month in advance of Valentine’s Day, so there will be slim pickings. You can always opt for in-room dining and bring food home, and set the table with fine china and candles.

If you are waiting until the last minute, don’t be surprised to find your date has made other plans. A smart, confident woman doesn’t wait around for the phone to ring. She’d rather be alone than be an afterthought.

RELATED: What do I do if he Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

If you have made Valentine’s plans and have a change of heart, don’t go down in history as the guy or girl who cancels on her Valentine’s date the week of because someone better came along. It will come back to haunt you. If you are gearing up for this romantic day, logging into your online dating profile on a regular basis during the days leading to Valentine’s may put you in the dog house, instead of the bedroom.

With or without a date, my advice is to try and enjoy Valentine’s Day and be open to the possibilities of love, or hanging out with friends. Open your mobile dating app and start swiping and chatting. Your next Valentine just might be a click away.

RELATED: 7 Ways to Find a Date by Valentine’s Day

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

Julie Spira – ABC News – Valentine’s Survival Guide

 

With Valentine’s Day just a week away, I sat down with ABC-7’s Coleen Sullivan and Ellen Leyva with a Valentine’s Survival Guide to get you to and through the most romantic day of the year.

Can you find love online in time for Valentine’s Day?

I say yes! With the convenience of your mobile phone, we’ll have you chatting and dating in a digital split second.

Here are 10 Tips to Help You Survive Valentine’s Day With a Hug and a Smile

  • Sign up for a Mobile Dating AppUse your Facebook photos to create a new profile and say “love is in the air.” Have a friend or a dating coach like myself help you with your profile.

 

  • Become a serial dater – This is the time I give you permission to date up a storm. Schedule one date a day until Valentine’s Day. Double-down and schedule two dates a day, where one will surely rise to the top and be worthy of a second date.

 

  • Use Premium Features – Match shows you peak times, where their Top Spot feature will show your profile to get the most visibility for just a few hours. OkCupid’s Boost feature will do the same for 15 minutes.

 

  • Give your date a card – A hand signed card or a love note will warm his or her heart for all dating stages.

 

  • Don’t forget Flowers Two billion dollars will be spent on Valentine’s Day flowers this year. Bring one long-stemmed rose or a dozen tulips to have the same effect, while not breaking the bank.

 

  • Say ‘I Love You’ – If you’re relationship is moving forward, there’s no better time to profess your love than on Valentine’s Day.

 

  • Choose In-Room Dining or Cook a Meal Together – If you’ve waited too long to make a reservation at his or her favorite place, pick up some prepared meals at the grocery store, or ingredients for a spicy romantic dinner. Remember to bring candles.

 

  • The gift of time – Valentine’s Day is about spending quality time together, and there’s not better gift than just being together.

 

  • Valentine’s Breakups – It’s not a great idea, but if your relationship has been sliding downhill since the past holiday season, have a talk with your significant other, sooner rather than later. Valentine’s Day can be filled with pressure, so be kind about it and if you’re going to call it quits, do so in person, and not on the phone, email, or in a text message.

 

  • Singles Awareness Day is on February 15th – If you’re not in the mood to find a Valentine and hate the holiday, there’s no need to fret. The day after will be a holiday to celebrate your single status.

Don’t let the pressure get to you about Valentine’s Day. Some people are still paying off their credit cards from December gift giving. A study shows that 54% plan to spend less than $100 and only 10% of singles spend over $250 on Valentine’s Day.

A survey from OneHourTranslation.com of over 4000 people around the world, showed that 31% plan to purchase their gifts online this year, so there’s still time to send something romantic to your Valentine or digital crush.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and is an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles on finding love online for over 24 years. 

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

 

 

Does Love ‘Trump’ Politics? Match Survey Says Yes

Love Trumps Politics

Source: Match

Last year, I believe Donald Trump hijacked Valentine’s Day.

This year, I’m relieved love is back atop the dating totem pole.

In 2017, with the Inauguration Day and Valentine’s Day less than a month apart, the results of the Electoral College vote permeated the bedroom, as well as surfaced in heated rants on social media, dividing friendships and romantic partners.

As a dating coach and love expert, the news media mostly wanted to talk to me about politics over love.

To say love got kicked to the curb by Donald Trump last year is an understatement, but our country was hurting, and relationships suffered.

I spend my days coaching singles and hearing about their attitudes on politics and dating. 

I’m happy to report I’ve noticed a shift since the new year where singles have been less interested in mentioning politics on their profiles in 2018.

In a previous Match Singles in America Survey from 2016, the dating site found 91% of singles had a better chance of getting to a second date if they mentioned politics on the first date.

With mobile dating profiles filled with text including, ‘Swipe left if you believe in all things Trump,’ to ‘Swipe Right if you think Trump is making America Great Again,’ the sentiments were strong with politics becoming one of the top deal-breakers for singles.

I spoke with Angela Hart, political writer for the Sacramento Bee on the effects of politics and love. Her piece, How Donald Trump is Killing Romance drew harsh criticism from Sean Hannity, who was apparently stunned that singles didn’t want to date a Trump supporter during one of his radio shows.

I even posted my heartfelt and emotional essays, Can True Love Endure Donald Trump and Love and Loss in the Age of Trump, where I painfully expressed how even the best relationships were getting tested due to conflicting political attitudes and views, including mine.

Now, I’m pleased to share the Match Singles in America Survey, of dating habits from 2017, just released for the 2018 Valentine’s season.

The survey shows things have lightened up for daters in the divisive political arena we’ve been living in.

In a section of the survey titled, “The Trump Effect” the Match results showed that singles put love first, ahead of our combative political climate.

Single Daters Will Now Date Across Party Lines

Match’s report showed that an overwhelming majority of singles (72%) would be willing to cross party lines with their date, with only 10% believing dating a Republican is a deal breaker and 5% saying they wouldn’t date a Democrat.

The survey, released just two days after Trump’s State of the Union address, shows singles are willing to be open to a different political point of view, with 45% saying they would try to understand the other’s perspective.

While politics was such a hot dating topic during the election year, 26% of singles in the survey said they’d change the subject if it came up on a date.

Does this mean the topic of politics is off the table for singles? Not at all. In the survey, 54% of singles think it’s important to find out their date’s political views, but the days of walking out on a date are gone, with only 5% admitting they would leave immediately.

It’s refreshing news for those seeking love and romance, and I couldn’t be happier.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 24 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

SIGNUP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox. 

Can Love Withstand Donald Trump? A Dating Expert’s Story

Can Love Withstand Trump

I have a confession.


I’ve been hiding a secret and can no longer remain silent.

As a dating coach in the business of love, I saw first-hand the strain on people’s relationships — including mine — when Donald Trump ran for and eventually became president.

During the campaign, my long-term boyfriend and I were on opposite ends of the political spectrum. He was on the right, and I was on the left. Initially, this didn’t alarm me, but over time, the division began to tear us apart, putting our relationship to the test.

I now fear, in this current political climate, that President Trump has destroyed romance as it once existed.

Once upon a time — two decades ago — we lived the fairy tale.

We fell in love at first sight, and after several joyful years together, we went separate ways. I wanted marriage, and he wasn’t ready.

Eventually, we wed others and lost touch.

Then in 2015, both divorced, we found our way back through Facebook Chat, proving a love so strong could never die.

We began sending each other digital versions of photographs neither of us had tossed away. His albums had been stored in an attic, while mine collected dust in a garage.

“We should meet up for a long drink and catch up,” his message said one morning.

I thought about it and both hesitantly and nervously, I agreed.

The moment our familiar eyes locked, we instantly realized the spark was still there.

I was the woman he wasn’t allowed to speak of during his marriage, he explained. He was the one I often regretted letting go.

When his curated mix of love songs arrived in the mail, two hearts resealed, and we resumed our romantic journey toward a second chance at love.

“We have the greatest story,” he proudly announced to my girlfriends when we reunited. I felt the same.

Blissfully, we started merging our lives with music as our backdrop.

He accompanied me to the Walt Disney Concert Hall to watch Gustavo Dudamel conduct the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Looking handsome, he wore an Italian sports jacket, and his sparkling hazel eyes matched mine identically.

I went to the Stagecoach Country Music Festival with him, wearing my Stetson cowboy hat as we walked through miles of dust and hay.

We posted photos online of us looking deliriously happy.

After a decade and a half apart, we were, admittedly, different people with dissimilar lifestyles.

I was more of an urban girl who lived in Los Angeles and frequented the liberal desert city of Palm Springs. He lived in a post-divorce rental home one hour north of me in Ventura County and thrived in the ultra-conservative mountains of Northern Idaho.

“It’s just geography,” I thought, and as a couple, we seemed to co-exist in each other’s favorite places with ease.

“I’m sorry I never proposed to you back then,” he said one evening.

My heart instantly started to race. Was my boyfriend about to get down on one knee with a ring?

After a moment of silence, I secretly hoped we still had time.

Although he had a history of commitment issues, our renewed love was growing stronger every day. That was until the heated election season rolled in when our perfect relationship started to fray.

“I can’t take another four years of the Clintons,” he murmured while pouring himself a martini.

“Don’t tell me you’d vote for Trump,” I yelled, then lost my appetite.

Once a registered Democrat, during our time apart, my boyfriend shifted his support to the Republican Party. He also hated the fact that Hillary Clinton was running for president.

Throughout the campaign, people were taking sides, and the effects began to permeate the bedroom. Couples were splitting up in “you’re fired” style — basically, instantly and without warning.

The great political divide was crushing relationships, including ours.

In a time of angry accusations of “fake news,” I started feeling like I was living in an all-too-real, fake relationship.

I was in deep conflict, believing we were the poster couple for eternal love. I didn’t want our story to end, so I buttoned my lips when he brought up his anti-liberal rants, and rolled my eyes when he praised “The Donald.”

RELATED: Love Vs. Trump – Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

“Turn off the TV,” he insisted, as I watched the Democratic debates during our trip to the Florida Keys.

Real Time with Bill Maher was off-limits.

“Really? I asked. “I can’t watch one of my favorite talk shows?”

Instead, we settled on watching romantic comedies on demand, curled up together, as a form of truce.

When political coverage became a 24-hour reality show, I noticed his attitude and values contrasted sharply from mine. I believe in gun control and Obamacare, and he’s proud of his gun closet and supports the “big, beautiful wall.”

I thought we could just agree to disagree as my parents did, but it was clear our bipartisan relationship was in jeopardy.

For a woman with a big and public voice, I remained unusually quiet, with the hope that he’d calm down after the voting frenzy was over. Slowly, I started to pull away from him, and I felt him doing the same.

One month before Election Day, we officially became a long-distance couple. He moved to Las Vegas, and I stayed in Los Angeles. With 300 miles between us, and Trump looking over my shoulder, it was challenging to stay connected.

I visited him to see the Rolling Stones in concert. He came my way for Stevie Nicks.

Then Donald Trump surprised us both by winning the election.

Shortly after, with tensions still high, he escorted me to a Hollywood party where both of us arrived dressed in purple to represent unity during a combative time.

On Inauguration Day, my boyfriend couldn’t take his eyes off the television, and I couldn’t bear to watch. He was as excited with Trump’s swearing-in as he’d be if he scored an eagle on his favorite golf course.

Then I asked myself, “Could we survive Trump?”

Here I was, with a man who believed our country’s new leader was making America great again. Meanwhile, I checked Trump’s daily tweets, now the primary source of hard news, as my blood pressure rose.

It was clear my guy didn’t want a left-leaning girlfriend, and I couldn’t express my feelings freely.

Still, on Valentine’s Day, a few weeks later, my beloved curated the perfect 48-hour love fest, and the cloud of politics never made it to the bedroom.

He drove over four hours bringing me one dozen long-stemmed roses in a ruby-red vase, embellished with a crystal heart bracelet. We later dined at an ocean-view table at Shutters on the Beach hotel in Santa Monica, where two years earlier we had reunited.

Together, we posted photos of us on social media and still felt in love as we toasted, “to us.”

It was our last night together as a couple.

Three days later, we called it quits.

Since he’d moved out of state, I tried to convince myself distance caused the split, but it was differing politics and the associated party values that slowly killed us.

RELATED: Post-Inauguration Breakups: Differing Politics Are Destroying Love

Our president became his new hero, and he mirrored the commander-in-chief’s beliefs and behavior. He wanted a polyamorous relationship, and I wanted a devoted partner. It crushed us, but much to my surprise, I wasn’t devastated.

During the time that our country became so polarized, we had changed. My emotions went from sad to mad, but eventually, I started to feel empowered, and my voice re-emerged.

After our romance ended, I decided it was time to look for someone on my side. Luckily, I quickly met a political junkie who lives in town online on Match. He listed himself as liberal in his dating profile, which was enough for me to click the reply button.

Our first date was at a harbor-view restaurant in the Marina. A good sport, he drove over an hour in heavy traffic from downtown LA, looking distinguished in a business suit and tie. I felt immediately at ease.

“Did you vote for Trump?” he asked.

“No,” I quickly replied, as we both sighed with relief.

It was a deal breaker for us both, and as we talked about our nation’s challenges, we clicked.

I admired my brilliant date for helping Dreamers, along with his belief in stronger gun control laws. We talked about Obamacare, tax reform, net neutrality, and immigration issues plaguing sanctuary cities.

Call me a sapiosexual, but his intellect was an aphrodisiac, and our conversations lasted for hours. The floodgates opened, and in time, so did my heart. Who knew that shared leanings and Saturday Night Live monologues could top a mutual desire for dark chocolate?

Because we were in sync, we advanced to a second date, then to a third, and by now, we’ve lost count.

Talking about politics in Trump’s America is important to me.

I worry about our country, but I don’t regret reuniting with my former beau. While I realize our deep history and unconditional love had brought us back together, it’s a huge relief not to have that burning question of “what if” circling inside my head.

However, love is conditional, with politics now residing atop the dating totem pole. As disappointed as I am with our president, I have him to thank for this realization.

And I learned a valuable lesson when my love life got “trumped.”

I’m now watching Bill Maher’s monologues in the arms of a man who appreciates my strong voice, and I am forever grateful to be heard.

RELATED: Dating in a Trump World – One Year Later

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s a bestselling author and the the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. As an early adopter of Internet dating, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox

 

7 Ways to Find a Date By Valentine’s Day

7 Ways to Find a Date for Valentine'sValentine’s is about one month away, and it’s countdown time for romance.

Some singles are stressing big time about how to find a date for the most romantic day of the year. Others could care less and will hang out with friends or hide under the sheets alone.

If finding a date for Valentine’s is on your list, I have great news for you. With a little effort and the help of your mobile phone, you can get lucky and find a date by Valentine’s Day.

7 tips for singles to get lucky in love by Valentine’s Day

1. RSVP to all events and parties

Whether it’s a business mixer or speed dating event, go out, dress up, and wear that smile of yours. Search for events on Eventbrite, Facebook, and don’t be shy.

2. Update your online dating profile

If your primary shot was from last year, or even six month ago, it’s outdated. It’s time for a digital facelift to show off the new you. Post photos from a recent trip and caption them if you can. Find your favorite photos that got the most likes on Facebook or Instagram, and add them to your profile. If you got a new puppy add a cute photo of your four-legged friend to your profile, but don’t use it as a primary shot.

RELATED: What to Do if He Doesn’t Ask Me Out for Valentine’s Day

3. Start Swiping! Download 3 mobile dating apps

Research shows that singles are using on average three mobile dating apps. They’re so easy to use and you can find a date in minutes, not days. A Pew research survey showed that the number of millennials using dating sites and apps has tripled in the last few years! Connect your instagram feed or spotify account to your mobile profile, so people can see exactly what you look like now, and know your musical taste.

4. Be proactive and Upgrade During Peak Times

It’s peak season, now through Valentine’s Day, with Sunday being one of the most popular days for onlien daters. I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal.” If you’re online, write to 5-10 people a day. Respond quickly and turn on those push notifications to find out when your digital crush sends you a message!

Upgrade during peak times and rush hour for just a few dollars to a premium service on sites such as OkCupid and Match.

Use the “Boost” feature on Tinder to appear at the top of the list in a search, where you can be viewed more than 10 times than normal. Yes, for less than the price of one cup of coffee, it’s worth a shot.

5. Check out your single friends on Facebook 

Flirting on Facebook? If so, you’re not alone. Check out his or her relationship status and if it it says “single,” go ahead and start flirting on Facebook chat. Plenty of couples have found love on the world’s largest social network, as can be seen on FacebookLoveStories.com.

RELATED: Facebook Love Stories: Showcasing Tales of Romance and Dishing Out Tips for Dating on Social Media

6. Go to a restaurant or coffee shop with WIFI

Working from home? Why be alone when you can be out in public with your computer instead. Make sure to dress up and take walks to the restroom or pass by as many people as possible with a smile on your face. It will become your new office to work and flirt. Stop, stare, and smile.

7. Text an ex 

As a last resort, know that 20% of singles do text their former love on Valentine’s if they’re flying solo, and over 50% of singles have tried to get back together with an ex. Go ahead and send a quick Happy Valentine’s message with an emoticon to your former flame. If you decide to do so, do it in the morning, not at night, as he or she might be on a Valentine’s date, or they might look at you as a late night booty call.

RELATED: How to Get Back Together With Your Ex

Remember, although Valentine’s Day is a big day for couples, the day after, February 15th, is Singles Awareness Day. Either way, love yourself first and love will come your way.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Looking for help with dating? Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been named the Best Dating Coach of the Year in the 2017 iDate Awards and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and facebook. SIGN up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

 
Photo credit: Fotolia

5 Tips to ROCK Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday - Cyber Dating Expert

What’s all the buzz about Dating Sunday?

With the New Year and love on the minds of many singles, Match and other dating sites have predicted the first Sunday after New Year’s as the busiest time of the year for activity. The EXACT time you should be logging on for love is at 8:55pm/ET, 5:55pm/PT.

Area you ready for the world’s largest digital love fest?

RELATED: Watch Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on ABC News on Dating Sunday

Here are some tips to make the most of Dating Sunday

Dating Sunday Tip #1: Don’t be Shy: I always say, “The squeaky wheel gets the digital love deal,” so go ahead and make the first move. Check out who has viewed your profile and reply back the same day. If you don’t respond, someone else will.

Dating Sunday Tip #2. Get Ready to Push. Log onto your mobile dating app profile and check your settings. Make sure your push notifications are set to ON, so you’ll get notified if your digital crush responds to you and then start swiping, big time.

Dating Sunday Tip #3. Upload New Photos and Smile! It’s a new year, so replace your existing profile photos with some new fun shots. The built-in cameras are terrific on mobile phones now, so have a friend help take new photos of you, or hire a professional to look your best. At Cyber-Dating Expert, we have photographers we work with and we’ll make sure your profile is date-worthy when we create your Irresistible Profile.

Dating Sunday Tip #4. Log On Frequently. Your soulmate can’t find you if you’re invisible. Log on twice daily to keep your profile active, especially in the evening during peak traffic hours, and take time to see who has viewed your profile or liked your photos.

Dating Sunday Tip #5: Fill Your Bucket List. Match has a great feature called, the bucket list, where you can list the things you’ve been dreaming about doing. If you like hiking, say you hike on weekends, but would love to hike Mt. Kilamanjaro someday. You might not make it to the top of the mountain, but you will easily fill your date card with those who also enjoy hiking. If you’d love to go on a safari in Africa, add it to your bucket list. You might meet someone who’s been there and can’t wait to show you his or her photos, or better yet, you just might end up there with someone you meet online.

Singles will be looking for love online in record numbers, exactly at 8:55pm/ET on Sunday, January 7th. Remember, 1 in 3 relationships start online, so you’ll be in good company and peak season is happening now, through Valentine’s Day.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for Dating Advice Delivered to Your InBox

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

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