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14 Ways to Date and Flirt on Instagram

Instagram heart

Are you flirting up a storm on Instagram?

Do you think finding love online means only swiping right on Tinder, Bumble or mobile apps?

Is your online dating profile a bit stale and your inbox on the empty side?

As a dating coach, I”m here to teach you how to flirt and find a date on social media, especially on Instagram.

1. Make sure your Instagram profile is public so people can follow you.

You’d be surprised how gun-shy some singles are about Instagram. They may post the most adorable selfies, but have their settings set to private, so unless you’re already connected as friends, you won’t be able to view or like their posts. If you’re single, toss out that fear of being in the public eye. It’s time to make your profile private and become strategic about what you post and who you decide to follow.

2. State in your bio that you’re single.

Being single isn’t a disease. It’s just the relationship status you have at the moment. Often there’s a digital crush who might think you’re taken, even if he or she sees a photo in the arms of your favorite cousin. By stating you’re single, you’ve just opened the love floodgates to millions of potential dates. Get ready for the ride!

RELATED: DATING IN AN INSTAGRAM WORLD

3. Follow back interesting people you think you’d like to date or at least be friends with.

If your follower count is starting to rise, don’t just look at the number. Instead look at who your latest follower is and if they seem interesting at all, follow them back. If they start posting creepy updates, you can always unfollow, or even block them if necessary.

4. Start “liking” their posts, slowly, so you won’t appear like a stalker.

Some singles like to use social media sites in a voyeuristic way. You peek, but you don’t click the like button. You never comment. You don’t even post, but you’re busy watching your followers’ feeds. It’s time to ramp up the flirting and take the digital plunge. Start slowly by liking someone’s posts, but don’t instantly like EVERYTHING this new crush posts or you may come across as needy, creepy, or even as a stalker!

5. Like your crush’s selfies.

Instagram is the perfect home for dating in a selfie world. The reason people post selfies is, well, because they want others to “like” or comment on how great they look or how cool they are. If your crush is looking for attention, don’t be shy. It’s time to click the like button, so you can show up in their feed and get on their digital radar.

6. Post to Instagram Stories

It’s no secret that the ‘Stories’ features which appear at the top of your Instagram feed get the most action. Caption your photos, add a video for more engagement and you’ll rank higher on the dating totem pole than solely posting updates.

7. Start commenting on their posts and add the heart emoticon.

Social networking works best when you remember to stay sociable. Slowly start commenting on his or her posts, but not all of them. If you see they are starting to comment on your posts, add in a heart emoticon to show you might want to be more than just friends.

8. Start using hashtags of #single #singlelife #love #relationships #dating so others can follow you.

Nothing’s a bigger turnoff than going on a digital campaign for someone who isn’t available. When you’re single, let your followers subtly know by using hashtags that define your relationship status. It’s bold, but not as needy as saying, “hey, I’m dateless this weekend and am bummed out about it.”

9. Post romantic quotes about love.

Feeling the love? Show it in your quotes. We post quotes with lyrics from love songs on Instagram, romantic quotes, and create some of our own to show we’re interested in love, big time. So should you.

10. Start searching for others with similar hashtags and start following them.

Being single is better when you’re in similar company. Do a search on Instagram for hashtags of other singles to see who’s feeling like they might want to couple up this ‘Cuffing Season.’

RELATED: YOUR GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON – GET READY TO COUPLE UP

11. Reply to comments on your posts from someone you could have a crush on.

So you’re in a groove on Instagram and your crush is commenting on your updates and selfies. Now’s not the time to back peddle and get shy. Click the heart button to his or her comments and reply back with an emoticon or xo.

12. Become a Tindstagrammer and Start Direct Messaging.

Once you’ve developed an online rapport, it’s time to start those private chats. In an article on Mashable, writer Rachel Thompson claims that Instagram is the new Tinder – whether you want it to be or not. In addition, if the object of your digital affection ignored you or swiped left on Bumble or Tinder, now they have a public chance to write to you on Instagram. It can be viewed as tenacious or creepy, so if you don’t get a response, hold back from bombarding someone in Insta in multiple DMs.

13. Post Videos

Whether you’re at a concert or the farmer’s market, views to videos just get viewed more often on Facebook and Instagram. Better yet, share it to your Stories and let your crush hear your voice.

14. Swap Digits So You Can Meet IRL.

At the end of this love campaign, if you and your crush are in a groove on Instagram, it’s time to take the plunge and send a DM with your phone number to text each other and make plans to meet in person. After all, you won’t really know if you have offline chemistry until you meet IRL.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the Digital Matchmaker who’s been coaching singles online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter

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Bumble App Now Helps Your Find Your BFF

Bumble BFFBumble, the mobile dating app that lets women take the lead to find a date, has expanded their services to help you find new friends.

It’s a clear way to keep you attached to the app if you’re in a relationship, but are looking for new friends to hang out with, or are just taking a break from dating.

It’s safe to say, this expands their services to be truly called a social networking app.

With their new feature, you can flip back-and-forth from seeking a date, to the BFF mode if you’d like to be in the friend zone.

 

Here’s how Bumble’s new features work

1. Open the Bumble App or search for it in the iTunes store.

2. Click on the update to get the new features.

3. Go into your settings, where you can search for men, women, men and women, or BFF.

Bumble BFF settings

4. Click on BFF, where you’ll officially enter their “Friend Zone.”

Bumble Friend Zone

5. Remember you cannot look for dates and BFF’s at the same time, as you’ll only be able to search people looking for friends with the BFF feature, not those who are looking for dating.

6. If you’re really looking for a BFF, make sure you set your push notifications to the position.

Plus, like Tinder, Bumble has just added the Giphy feature to this new update. This allows you to send fun and flirty GIFS to other Bumbler’s.

Bumble GIphy

Related: Tinder Update Ignites GIFS and New Flirting Features

At the end of the digital day, we know that relationships can come and go, but having a BFF can help you weather all of your relationship stages.

Remember, this feature was just announced, so you might not be flooded with new friends just yet, but if you find yourself burned out one day and want to take a break from swiping on potential dates, maybe your plus one can be a new friend to hang out with.

In a recent interview on ABC News in Why Women Like Bumble, I discussed how Bumble works.

Watch the ABC News segment

Will you use Bumble to find new friends instead of filling your date card?

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online and on their mobile phones for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Profiles and Swiping Right can help you find your dream date and sign up for our Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

The Perils of Cyber-DatingJust released! Our newly revised edition of our bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online, with bonus audio dating advice and a magical epilogue with a fairy tale ending to help you believe in love.

Buy it on Kindle  Buy it on Audible

Survey: Online Dating by the Numbers

Online Dating by the NumbersA new study from Pew Research shows that online dating has risen in popularity. While most of us realize this from the everyday conversations we’re having with singles on the dating scene, we really need to credit the introduction and rise of mobile dating apps for the increase in acceptance to digital dating.

When Pew conducted their research study in 2005, more singles hid the fact that they were dating online. Eight years ago, 29% thought that dating on the Internet was just something those who were desperate had to do. Fortunately, the number has shrunk to 21% today.

So who’s dating the most online?

According to the study, single men and women from 25-34 are the most popular demographic for Internet daters.

Other important statistics from the survey include:

  • 42% know someone who has used online dating
  • 29% know someone who has been in a long-term relationships or marriage with someone they’ve met online
  • 66% of online daters have gone out on a date with someone they met on a dating site
  • 11% of adult American Internet users have used online dating sites
  • 38% of those who are single and looking have used online dating sites and mobile dating apps.

While these numbers continue to rise from Pew?s survey in 2005, over half of those who have dated online have had a bad experience. From misrepresentation of age, weight, marital status and more, we wish there was more truth-in-advertising with Internet dating.

Along with looking for love online, the Pew survey showed that many still felt the need to research their past relationships online. It’s hard not to be curious about what your ex is up to when he or she continues to post photos on Facebook or update their status on Twitter publicly. Suddenly social media makes it easy to do an impromptu background search to see if you’re former flame is single or in a relationship. The study showed that 30% of social networking users were researching those they were interested in dating. This proves that singles really need to make sure they keep their Facebook pages and date-friendly.

On Facebook Love Stories, we teach singles how to keep their Facebook pages more dateable. Think about it, your Linkedin Profile needs to help you find your dream job by being professional. It would make sense then that your Facebook page needs to reflect your single status.

*Hint: It might be time to do some digital housekeeping to remove photos of you with your kissing cousin or ex BF or GF.

At the end of the digital day, we’re creating a permanent digital footprint whenever we post. If you’re single, make sure you’re reflecting the real you, not the idealized person you think your date is dreaming to meet.

Julie Spira is a top Online Dating Expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating. She’s been helping singles on the dating scene for 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Photo credit: ? erinphoto10 – Fotolia.com

Social Dating: Is Facebook Really a Dating Site?

Facebook: Social DatingLet’s face it. You?re hanging your digital hat on Facebook and Twitter a bit more often than logging into your online dating account, and with good reason. You like to see what your friends are up to and cheer them on with an occasional like or two. Staring at Selfies photos can be fun, and watching someone change their relationship status is a golden moment.

Most online dating sites are now entrenched with social media allowing you to upload your photos directly from Facebook and even using the like button for people to vote on their favorite photos of you. This is quite helpful as you can and should change your photos around a bit. If you notice that some are getting more attention, then they’re keepers.

Internet dating has evolved from the early days of chat rooms and dial up Internet to high-speed wireless Internet and now to a social dating experience. From getting dating advice on Twitter from @Match or @eHarmony to checking out your potential date?s Facebook page, while still chatting on the phone with him or her, digital dating has ramped it up a big notch.

When Facebook launched their Social Graph search in January, I spoke with USA Today. The article, Facebook Unleashed Cupid Potential came out while many of the Internet dating executives were at the Internet Dating Conference.

I was quoted as saying:

Dating norms, however, have already taken root on Facebook. People have long-perused the photos and postings of members in the game of attraction, says Julie Spira, a digital-dating maven who runs CyberDatingExpert.com.

“It’s the world’s largest social network, and they could be the world’s largest dating network if they want to go there,” Spira said.

No longer could online dating sites and singles ignore the big digital gorilla in the room. A few weeks later, we debuted Facebook Love Stories, featuring real world couples who met or reconnected on Facebook and fell madly in love.

Cyber-Dating Expert friend Cliff Lerner, the CEO of Are You Interested wrote an interesting piece in Huffington Post entitled, Why Facebook Graph Search Will Make Online Dating Cool.

I have to agree with Lerner. There are some that still think there?s a stigma with online dating, but have no problem contacting other singles on Facebook chat. This my friends is social dating at it?s best.

At the end of the digital day, you need to cast a very wide net. If you?re uncomfortable saying that you?re an online dater, tell people that you?re a social dater. Do whatever it takes to find love, online, offline, and on Facebook.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, on Facebook, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and FacebookLoveStories.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and coaches them on finding love online and on Facebook. For more dating advice follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and like her at at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

 

 

 

 

Countdown to Valentine’s Day – Can You Find a Date Online?

Valentine's Dating Dos and Don'tsWith Valentine’s Day just a month away, singles are thinking about red hearts and online dating sites are seeing record activity.

According to CNN, some online dating sites have surged by up to 350% in the past two months, so singles looking for love online can have more choices to find a date or mate for the holiday season.

So how can you ramp up your search in the next 30 days?

Here are 5 tips that will shorten the search so you can ride into the digital sunset together.

1. Become a Social Dater. If you?re constantly updating your status on Facebook and posting new photos on Instagram, Pinterest, and Flickr, go ahead and share some of those on your online dating profile as well. Toss out the outdated blurry photos, group shots, and the arm hanging over your shoulder and replace them with newer photos that reflect who you are today. Remember to post a caption under the photos and add the date they were taken, so your potential suitors can see there’s truth-in-advertising

2. Don’t Wait, Initiate. I know The Rules book says a woman should never ever contact a man, but I disagree with this one. There’s a fine line between chasing a guy and playing hard-to-get. Playing the waiting game won’t fill your date card. Sure if you call a guy all the time, you might be considered needy, but most men are so frustrated with writing to women online who never respond. Your quick introduction email will be refreshing to him. Send a flirt, wink, or a nudge, if you?d like to subtly get his attention. Rate his profile or let him know you’ve viewed it, so he can see you’re interested.

3. Flirt on Facebook. Finding love on the world’s largest social network will expand your search. Facebook reported that 40.5% of their members changed their relationship status in 2012 to ‘Single,’ as compared to 29.2% who changed their status to ‘In a Relationship.’ Check out Facebook chat and see if someone who captures your eye is online and start the conversation. Go ahead an Poke someone and see if it’s returned like a digital boomerang.

4. Log on Daily. If you keep your online dating profile hidden with the fear that you’ll look desperate, the result is you just won’t get found as easily. Change your settings to being visible while logged on, so you can show up higher in a search. Take it one step further and turn on the chat and instant message feature. It’s time to start flirting online.

5. Practice the Magic of 5. If you’d go on a few job interviews every day to find your dream position, shouldn’t you do the same with your personal life? Go ahead and book five dates a week. Sound overwhelming? Not really. Schedule two coffee dates, one lunch date, and two dates for drinks to fill your calendar with potential male suitors. By the weekend, you should have date number two on your calendar. Even if you don’t meet ‘the one,’ you’ll be expanding your social network. I call it casting a wide net. You never know if a party invitation will follow.

Practice these five tips from now until Valentine’s Day and look forward to the possibility of finding love online.

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

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Dating in a Mobile World [video]

What do you get when you match up 8 single daters and 8 mobile dating apps?

Hi, this is Julie Spira and I’ve created Mobile Dating Bootcamp, a social dating experience to help singles find love from the convenience of their mobile phones.

With over 14 million singles using mobile dating apps, we decided to put mobile to the test. Let’s see what the daters had to say.

For more videos, visit MobileDatingBootCamp.com and like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert


Online Dating in a Klout World – Tawkify Speaks Out

Klout Heart

Klout - Talkify

Most singles who I coach on finding love online aren’t aware of Klout, social media reputation, or the marriage of social media and technology.

Perhaps they see their percentages of a Match on OkCupid with their Quiver matches, where a 90+ match is worth responding to.

Often they’re matched up on Chemistry.com with their Builder/Negotiator, Explorer/Director, created by biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher.

Most singles just want to find love, with any algorithm they can find.

So what happens when you marry a new dating site, Tawkify, created by Cyber-Dating Expert’s friend and Elle columnist E. Jean Carroll, with social influence site Klout? Talkify is the first dating site to partner with Klout? to use the Klout scores as a measurement of allure and as a prediction of falling in love. Curious to hear more?

E. Jean tells Klout, “In a series of blind experiments (the thirty couples we matched were not told we were using their Klout Scores), we?ve found that Klout Scores will predict the brilliance or dullness of match?-and how quickly people will click.”

I have to admit, I do check my Klout score daily and it’s been steady at 61 for a while, where I’m labeled a “Broadcaster.” I now qualify for Tawkify’s “Red Carpet Vip Service.” Does that mean I need to meet someone else who is social media savvy with a 60+ score? Not really as the best relationships I’ve been in are with men who don’t tweet. ?I’m excited to see how the two will work together and would be curious to see if a Klout personality type of “Broadcaster” will match nicely with a “Thought Leader” or “Celebrity” with an “Observer,” or even “Pundit” with a “Specialist.”

So how does Tawkify work? You fill out a profile, answer ten questions and on Monday night your phone rings with a match. I’m hoping if there’s no match, that they won’t deduct the credit from your account. Prices range from $8 for one match to $1499 for the miracle worker.(with a special New York Times offer of $250.

Another brand that I admire who has partnered with Klout is fashion site Gilt, where you get discounts based upon your Klout score. ?We’ll be excited to share a Klout love story any day in our Cyber Love Story of the Week.

At the end of the digital day, online dating has finally moved to what I call social dating, and it’s here to stay.

Question: Would you value your date’s Klout score? Would you take a digital peek before deciding to go on a date?

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and social media strategist. She’s the CEO and Editor-in-Chief at CyberDatingExpert.com. As an early adopter of online dating, Julie created her first profile in 1994. Today, she writes irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene and is an expert in mobile dating. ?For more dating advice, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.


Zoosk Encourages Couples to Share Their Romantic Journey

Zoosk CouplesFrom the first kiss to will you marry me and beyond, our friends at Zoosk are encouraging their success couples to share their romantic milestones and hang around once their relationship has become official.

Redefining themselves as ?the romantic network,? they?ve announced a new feature called ?Couples Profiles,? where happy couples can create a joint profile to highlight their romantic journey.

Zoosk co-founder Shayan Zadeh and a friend of Cyber-Dating Expert tells us, ?Zoosk started by helping singles find a partner to begin their romantic journey. Yet when we helped two people find each other and develop a relationship they left Zoosk and there was no dedicated place online for them to share their romantic journey. Our new Couple Profiles offering provides couples with a place to share their romantic milestones and memories online in a joint profile that can be shared with friends. As we continue to develop Couple Profiles, we have plans to add many more features.?

This makes a lot of sense as Facebook?s timeline also features these important relationship milestones, however not on a single profile.

Watch their video to see the features of ?Couples Profiles? and feel free to chime in with your thoughts.

Julie Spira is the leading online dating expert, bestselling author, and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating and relationship advice, like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert and sign up for our Weekly Flirt Dating advice newsletter. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.

Finding Love Online – Tonya Hall Radio Show

Tonya Hall ShowJoin online dating expert Julie Spira as she returns to The Tonya Hall Show on KCRN, The Radio Colorado Network on Friday, March 30, 2012. We’ll be talking about social dating, love and romance in a web 2.0 world.

The online dating industry is continuing to grow at rapid speed with thousands of sites to choose from. Julie and Tonya will talk about how to stand out in the crowded digital marketplace and how to embrace mobile dating.

Should you be sending that Facebook friends request to someone you just started dating? Will you talk about searching him or her on Google? Should you send a text message to confirm?

Call in at 855-464-5905 at 8am/pacific time with your questions. We’ll be discussing this and more on The Tonya Hall Show.

 

 

How Digital is Your Love Life?

Love Goes Digital - CyberDatingExpert.com

Online dating doesn’t mean just signing up for a dating site when you’re single any more. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry filled with mobile apps, dating coaches, and helps both singles find love and couples stay together with ongoing dating tips.

In a pre-Valentine’s Love Goes Digital panel hosted by Kevin Winston of Digital LA, online dating experts and sites discussed dating advice, the growing trend of mobile dating, and how to keep your love alive after the knot has been tied.

Love Goes Digital Panel

Grant Langston, head of social media at eHarmony and an employee of the site since before it’s launch in 2000 shared his experience on the changes their site has gone through. In my personal opinion, I think they have one of the best iPad apps around. The site will shortly be rolling out a new feature for your eHarmony timeline that’s similar to a? Facebook time-line.

Justin Fredericks, founder of Marriage.com, a video network that curates, produces and promotes videos about wedding, marriage, dating, and relationships talked about the new social networking site Pinterest, as it focuses on women.

Jennifer Kelton from Bad Online Dates talked about her mobile strategy, Bad Date TV, and some niche online dating sites.

I shared with the audience how I created my first online dating profile in 1994 as a charter member of Love@Aol, during the days of the dial-up connection. I penned my stories in my first book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and created CyberDatingExpert.com as a place for singles and couples to share their online dating stories. The use of social media on Twitter and Facebook has made a big impact on my brand. I also told singles not to ‘friend’ someone on Facebook before or after a first date. Personally, I think it’s creepy.

The audience was a mixed group of singles, married couples, dating industry executives, love coaches and those who are still looking for love online. We nibbled on chocolate, sipped One Coconut Water, and discussed what you should say or not say in your online dating profile.

At the end of the digital day, most of the audience felt they’d rather keep their love and dating life off of Facebook.

One thing’s for sure. The audience left fully armed with the dos and don’ts of social and online dating in time for Valentine’s Day.

Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter. If you loved this post, Like us at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert for more dating advice.

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