Many thanks to those who came out to join the digital party for our Valentine’s #DateChat on February 12th.
If you missed #DateChat, here’s our transcript and recap with some dating advice to help you through Valentine’s weekend.
Our topic was Valentine’s Day: Love it or Hate it?
Don’t forget to join us again for #DateChat every Thursday at 5pm/PT, 8pm/ET, where we’ll talk about dating, love and romance in a digital world with guest hosts and to answer your burning dating questions.
Thanks to those who helped spread the word in avance @DearMrsD, @LindaSherman, @kellyseal, @dirtyinpublic, @brucesallan, @GenConnect @YourTango @YTExperts @lovecolumnist, @badonlinedates, @dressforthedate, @threedayrule, @serena, @lorimoreno, @carmeliaray, @mscheevious, @melanie360, @seltzerkimberly, @tomfoolerytm, @ProjectQuinn, @MikeLindstrom, @MyLifeonMatch.
Congratulations to Starbucks gift card winners Josh Mellman, Fatima Lora, and Asia McKenzie!
Here’s our Storify recap followed by our transcript highlighting some of our favorite tweets.
We know that you’re excited about your upcoming date or new relationship, but are you both on the same digital page?
Here are some Dos and Don’ts on how to handle social media and love on February 14th.
DO: send a fun and flirty “Happy Valentine’s Day” text to the person you’ll be spending the holiday with. It will generate excitement leading up to your date.
DON’T: Keep your phone on the table during the date or check text messages. It sends a message that someone else is more important than you are.
DO: Send a text message inviting them for a SKYPE date if you can’t be together or if they live out of town.
DON’T: Post photos of the two of you as a couple on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram unless both of you decide together that you don’t mind your extended network to view your whereabouts.
DO: Post a photo of the cute red or pink dress you might be wearing on your date.
DON’T: Tag your new boyfriend on Facebook. Chances are he hasn’t told his buddies and work pals about his Valentine’s plans.
DO: Post a photo if you’ve received flowers, a fun gift, or of the dessert at dinner. Everyone loves to view the photos and will cheer you on with ‘likes.’
DON’T: Post your “Happy Valentine’s” message on your date’s wall. Saying you can’t wait until the evening together should remain private. Remember, a simple post may be innocent. However your friends might wonder what kind of wild night the two of you will be having. Or worse yet, his ex-girlfriend might start posting inappropriate comments to ruin your evening.
DO: Send a digital gift, such as his or her favorite band on iTunes, an e-card, or a redeemable gift card to a store or restaurant.
DON’T: Send a musical montage of “I Love You?”songs if you haven’t said those three little words yet.
DO: Ask for permission before you post anything online. Remember you?re creating a permanent digital footprint and your status and photos can be shared, even by people you don’t know.
DON’T: Overshare. Remember, many of your friends are single and may not be enjoying the day.
DO: Make an exciting announcement. If you become engaged on Valentine’s Day, your friends will want to know.
DON’T: Change your Facebook relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ until both of you have had the talk and agree to be on the same digital page.
Do you have any social media rules for Valentine?s Day?
Your comments are welcome.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
With Valentine’s Day just a month away, singles are thinking about red hearts and online dating sites are seeing record activity.
According to CNN, some online dating sites have surged by up to 350% in the past two months, so singles looking for love online can have more choices to find a date or mate for the holiday season.
So how can you ramp up your search in the next 30 days?
Here are 5 tips that will shorten the search so you can ride into the digital sunset together.
1. Become a Social Dater. If you?re constantly updating your status on Facebook and posting new photos on Instagram, Pinterest, and Flickr, go ahead and share some of those on your online dating profile as well. Toss out the outdated blurry photos, group shots, and the arm hanging over your shoulder and replace them with newer photos that reflect who you are today. Remember to post a caption under the photos and add the date they were taken, so your potential suitors can see there’s truth-in-advertising
2. Don’t Wait, Initiate. I know The Rules book says a woman should never ever contact a man, but I disagree with this one. There’s a fine line between chasing a guy and playing hard-to-get. Playing the waiting game won’t fill your date card. Sure if you call a guy all the time, you might be considered needy, but most men are so frustrated with writing to women online who never respond. Your quick introduction email will be refreshing to him. Send a flirt, wink, or a nudge, if you?d like to subtly get his attention. Rate his profile or let him know you’ve viewed it, so he can see you’re interested.
3. Flirt on Facebook. Finding love on the world’s largest social network will expand your search. Facebook reported that 40.5% of their members changed their relationship status in 2012 to ‘Single,’ as compared to 29.2% who changed their status to ‘In a Relationship.’ Check out Facebook chat and see if someone who captures your eye is online and start the conversation. Go ahead an Poke someone and see if it’s returned like a digital boomerang.
4. Log on Daily. If you keep your online dating profile hidden with the fear that you’ll look desperate, the result is you just won’t get found as easily. Change your settings to being visible while logged on, so you can show up higher in a search. Take it one step further and turn on the chat and instant message feature. It’s time to start flirting online.
5. Practice the Magic of 5. If you’d go on a few job interviews every day to find your dream position, shouldn’t you do the same with your personal life? Go ahead and book five dates a week. Sound overwhelming? Not really. Schedule two coffee dates, one lunch date, and two dates for drinks to fill your calendar with potential male suitors. By the weekend, you should have date number two on your calendar. Even if you don’t meet ‘the one,’ you’ll be expanding your social network. I call it casting a wide net. You never know if a party invitation will follow.
Practice these five tips from now until Valentine’s Day and look forward to the possibility of finding love online.
Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author and the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. She creates Irresistible Profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.
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How digital is your love life??Come to the Digital LA – Love Goes Digital panel on February 13, 2012, ?where we’ll be talking about online and social dating.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
January 31, 2012 — Los Angeles, CA — Julie Spira, bestselling author of ?The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online? and a frequent media guest on the subject of online and social dating will be a featured panelist on the first-ever “Love Goes Digital” panel, hosted by Digital LA on February 13, 2012.
Julie will discuss social dating trends, how she helps singles by creating their online dating profiles, and about how she successfully used social media strategies to help her online dating book become a bestseller.
?For our pre-Valentine?s Day Digital LA ? Loves Goes Digital panel, we want to celebrate by getting LA?s experts in online dating and love together, to share tips, trends, and success stories in building dating/love related blogs and businesses,? said Kevin Winston, Digital LA founder. ?It?s the first time we know of that local dating and love experts have been gathered on a panel in Los Angeles.?
The event will be held at Hotel Shangri-La in Santa Monica, CA.
If you?re single, you might have stayed home and pulled the sheets over your head until the clock struck midnight. Other singles that I heard from gathered together for the evening and sipped a few cocktails together and then went home alone. It was agonizing. It was painful. I know, you don?t want to have another Valentine?s Day alone, which is why you?re visiting this site right now.
So, as the bearer of good news, we?re heading into March Madness and Spring Fever will be around the corner. What does this mean for singles? It means the holiday season from Thanksgiving through Valentine?s is thankfully over. The men who disappeared in the weeks leading to Valentine?s Day are resurfacing right now since the holiday pressure has subsided.
So toss away your favorite red dress for a moment and let?s talk about some online dating tips to get your profile noticed and rise to the top.
1. Start from Scratch. If you still like your current site, you don?t need a makeover of your present profile. What you need is a brand new profile originating from a new and unique email address. If you?ve taken a break from online dating and are ready to jump back in, don?t refresh your existing profile. Retire it permanently and start from scratch. This way you?ll show up in a search as ?brand new? and you?ll be the fresh new face in the digital playing field.
2. Change Your Catchy Screen Name. Let?s face it. Your current screen name isn?t really that catchy is it? If so, you?d be riding into the sunset with someone right now. Think about a name that doesn?t describe you to your girlfriends. You?re writing to attract a quality man and he doesn?t want to hear about your shopping expeditions. While you may be a fashionista and will look great on a date, he?ll think you?ll be spending all of his money while gallivanting at the mall and won?t be spending time with him. Think about what you?d like to do together as a couple. What activities and interests will you have in common? Imagine spending them with your dream guy. Pick three different catchy screen names and rotate them on your profile headline. Don?t describe yourself as pretty or beautiful as you will seem shallow. Men are visual. They?ll notice how you look in your profile photos. You?ll know soon enough which names get the most attention.
3. Be Realistic. I?m not saying don?t be picky. Wanting a Renaissance man who makes $300,000 a year and will give you back massages and write you love notes all day long is not realistic. Whatever you have on your list, cut your list in half to show the absolutely most critical things you want in a partner. Our goal is to help you find love and a meaningful relationship. I know you can find it online and I?m here to help you do so.
4. Spend One Hour a Day Online. You say you?re too busy to spend one hour searching through profiles and finding quality men to date? If you can find time to go to the gym three times a week, meet your girlfriends for drinks, and attend business networking events, then you must allocate one hour a day to devote to your love life. I know you?re already logging onto Facebook up to an hour every day. While you?re checking the latest status updates and commenting, cut that time down and visit your online dating site.
5. Two is Better Than One. Online dating is a numbers game. Fortunately, there are over 1500 sites to pick from. My suggestion is to sign up for one mainstream popular site that has a lot of active members and select a second niche site to post another profile. If you?re wondering what a niche site is, it?s one that focuses in on your hobbies or religious beliefs. There are sites for book lovers, vegetarians, pet lovers, and those with medical conditions. There truly is someone for everyone. Visit our Dating Community for some sites that I recommend.
Make this spring your time to find the love that you truly are looking for. If you need personalized?help with your online dating profile, you’re not alone. Contact us to find out more about coaching programs at CyberDatingExpert.com/Irresistible Coaching. We’ll help you create an irresistible online dating profile to attract your dream date.
What an honor and pleasure it was to feature eHarmony on the Valentine’s edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert Show.
Dr. Gian Gonzaga, Senior director of research and development took time from his busy media schedule and book tour for this exclusive 30-minute radio interview.
Find out his online dating tips and relationship advice for Valentine’s. We know it’s stressful and your expectations are high.
You’ll hear about their new book the eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around and we’ve got 10 signed copies that we’re giving away on Facebook, so I hope you like us to enter to win.
We talked about when and how to introduce your children in your new relationship, what makes a good date, and if you should say “I Love You” on Valentine’s Day for the first time.
You’ll be surprised to find out that both men and women want the same three things.
Here’s the list:
Did you notice that sexy and hot aren’t on this list? So ladies, be flexible and enjoy the show!
If you missed my Pimp Your Online Dating Profile Seminar in Los Angeles, there’s no need to fret. My friends at Cupid’s Pulse asked me to help singles create an irresistible online dating profile just for Valentine’s Day, so I came up with a list of 5 Must-Do tasks that you can start doing today.
From wearing red to attract love,? to creating a catchy screen name and changing your visibility settings, it’s still time to find a Valentine.
Click here for full article @Cupid’s Pulse
1. Be the Lady in Red: Everyone knows that red is synonymous with love and passion.? We?re reminded about Valentine?s Day as soon as New Year?s is over.? I always say the color red will attract a man.? Grab a friend and your digital camera and start snapping some photos wearing your favorite red dress or sweater to grab his attention.? Post three to five photos: one full-length shot, one close up and an activity or vacation shot.? Not sure what to use?? Check out your own Facebook profile and scan through your photos.? There might be one on your favorite social networking site to post on your online dating profile.
2. Create a Catchy Screen Name: When I create irresistible online dating profiles for singles, I?m always amazed at how many singles just use the screen name assigned by Match.com, eHarmony, or on the free online dating site.? There?s nothing catchy about it at all.? Think about a newspaper with a great headline and an interesting photo.? If it captures your attention, you?re more than likely to skim or read through the article.? The same theory holds true for online dating.? It?s a competitive digital landscape out there ? Suzy115279 isn?t going to impress him, but ArtLover4U or HikingGal will show him what your interests are.? This will make it easier for him to approach you.
3. Change your Settings: Typically, women like it when a man does the pursuing, but February is already here.? You need to let him know you?re available and ready to meet.? How do you do this?? Change your privacy settings to show you?re online and open up your live chat or instant messaging service.? Online dating is a numbers game and men are rejected all too often.? Make it easy for him to find you.? It?s a crowded digital landscape and the squeaky wheel does get the deal.
4. Shorten your Profile: There?s so much to say and so little time, but time is your friend.? Don?t tell your entire life story in your profile, or there?s no reason for him to contact you.? Shorten your profile to a simple paragraph with enough information to pique his curiosity.
5. Cast a Wide Net: So what if he doesn?t look like your dream guy?? If you have enough common interests, take a chance and accept a date.? You never know if a great friendship will develop or if he?ll have a friend to introduce you to, even if it?s not a love connection.? Women do fall in love with their best friends, so don?t be too quick to judge the book by it?s digital cover.
For the full article, Visit Cupid’s Pulse.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 10, 2011
Our Irresistible Valentine’s Celebration is red hot and it’s continuing every day through February 14th.
Join me on Thursday, February 10th on WLW in Cincinnati, where I’ll be a guest on the Marc Amazon show at 11pm/EST, 8pm/PST. We’ll be talking about last minute romantic gifts and how to find a date to spend Valentine’s with this year.
On Saturday, February 12th, our Valentine’s edition of Ask the Cyber-Dating Expert show will feature Dr. Gian Gonzaga from eHarmony. The show airs at 2pm/EST, 11am/PST. We’re also giving away 10 autographed copies of the new book, the? eHarmony Guide to Dating the Second Time Around. Like us on Facebook and share your dating stories on our wall for your chance to win.
The festivities will conclude on Valentine’s Day with a morning appearance on TRN-FM on The Mancow Radio Show at 7:30am/CST and a lively debate on Valentine’s Day on BBC at midnight in London (4pm/PST)? on the Tony Livesely Show in “Can You Find Love on the Internet?” This will be my third year in a row providing online dating advice on BBC Radio, so I hope you tune in and hear what they think about online dating in the U.K.
To read the articles in Psychology Today, Cupid’s Pulse, Providence Journal, She Knows, Single Minded Women, YourTango and more, visit our press room.
For a list of Valentine’s articles, advice and show schedule, click here for full press release
I’m super-excited to have been selected by GenConnect to host their live Valentine’s chat this week, “For Lovers and Lovers in Waiting.”
Click on the link below on Thursday, February 3rd at 3:30pm, EST/ 12:30pm/PST for a live Q & A, where I’ll answer all of your relationship questions leading up to Valentine’s Day. I know how stressful Valentine’s can be. I see all the red candy hearts in the grocery store. Regardless of your relationship stage, take a moment and join our live chat. The best part is, one person will win an Irresistible online dating profile, valued at $495.
Our hashtag on twitter is #gCLove so you can follow the conversation.