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Tinder Dating Expert Julie Spira on BuzzFeed Video

Julie Spira - Buzzfeed

We had a blast at the BuzzFeed studios in Hollywood, where I critiqued two Tinder profiles of Millennial singles who hadn’t been on ANY dates!

Well we changed that in a digital heartbeat.

Watch as I made both Ryann and Kelly’s mobile dating profiles go from dating in a SWIPE LEFT world, to quickly moving to a SWIPE RIGHT world.

Find out EXACTLY what they were doing wrong and how a little attitude adjustment with some digital techniques online combined with offline dating advice turned their love game around.

I’m so very proud of the two of them. Thank you to Buzzfeed for selecting me as their dating coach and love expert.

Julie Spira is a mobile dating expert and is known as America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the creator of Mobile Dating BootCamp and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 23 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs. Julie is the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was named “Best Dating Coach of the Year” in the 2017 iDate Awards.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram

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Lawyers are the Most Desirable Jobs for Singles on Happn App

Happn Jobs
Thinking of going to law school? If love is on your mind, your odds of finding a date by joining a non-drinking bar are at the top of the list.

A survey from mobile dating app Happn analyzed 2.9 million users in the United States between April 1-11, 2017. They found that singles matched, or “crushed” with dating profiles of lawyers most often.

RELATED: Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps

Highest Ranking Matches Per Job Category

For both men and women, the desire to date an attorney ranked as number one in the top five list.

Other sexy professions of guys include being an Analyst, Engineer, Salesman, or Doctor. Happn’s list of the 5 most crushed women also include Designer, Teacher, Marketer, and Physician.

This list is a bit different from Tinder’s most popular jobs that received right swipes, where being a lawyer ranked lower at #11 for men, and didn’t appear on the list of most right swipes of women. Instead, being a Pilot ranked as the top spot for men, while being a Physical Therapist received the most right swipes on women’s profiles.

RELATED: These Jobs Will Get You the Most Right Swipes on Tinder

Tinder Jobs

Tinder’s Most Swiped Jobs Differed from Happn’s

According to Tinder, below being a Pilot, if you’re a  Founder/Entrepreneur, or Firefighter, you’re in the top 3 careers that will get more right swipes on male profiles. We get it. A Pilot can be sexy, but he won’t be around much. A Founder/Entrepreneur might be creative with a big bank balance, or at least some stock options, so he’s got long-term potential. A Firefighter or Doctor will save lives and can become your own personal hero. In short, women loved a man in a uniform.

As for the women, being a Physical Therapist tops the list as men are imagining her personal touch, somewhere, somehow, or anywhere. An Interior Designer was a bit surprising at number 2, but there’s something intimate about decorating a bedroom with candles and more. As far as number 3 is concerned, it’s enlightening to know that a man is interested in both beauty and brains, so kudos to those who want to date a smart and confident woman. Perhaps they’ll remember to leave the Board Room out of the bedroom.

Taking it a step further, Mashable released a list of most swiped jobs city-by-city to show there’s not a one-size-swipes all best job across the country.

For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of the Internet and has been coaching singles for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

Online Dating: Star Wars Fans Get More Dates

Star Wars Day

If you’re single and are a “Star Wars” fan, we’ve got good news for you.

Our friends at PlentyofFish analyzed over 13 million profiles of their online dating users in the United States, and found that those who list “Star Wars” as an interest on their profiles are 61% more likely to leave the site in a relationship than non-fans.

In honor of Star Wars Day, POF lists the top 10 cities to date a Star Wars Fan.

  1. Los Angeles
  2. San Antonio
  3. San Diego
  4. Las Vegas
  5. Orlando
  6. Houston
  7. Phoenix
  8. Jacksonville
  9. Colorado Springs
  10. Chicago

So what exactly is Star Wars Day?

ABC News reported that “the pun was first used back in 1979, with Britain’s Conservative Party congratulating Margaret Thatcher in print for taking the prime minister post that day.

Canada’s Globe and Mail newspaper, claims the first organized “Star Wars” event on May 4 took place in 2011 at the Toronto Underground Cinema.

What Should Single Star Wars Fans Do?

If you’re single and dating online or on mobile dating apps, make sure to list that you’re a Star Wars fan in your favorites, as other singles just might be searching for someone just like you. Take it a step further and post something fun on Facebook or Instagram.

For those of you who live in cities not listed in the top 10, don’t fret. You can change your zipcode as many couples have moved for love.

One of our featured couples on Facebook Love Stories, Sophie and Trevor, actually met in a Facebook fan group for Star Wars. He lived in the U.S. and she lived in the U.K. and now they are happily married, with thanks to Star Wars.

Happy Star Wars Day and May the 4th be with you, wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating and Mobile Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for dating advice

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These Words Will Add Humor to Your Dating Profile

After writing thousands of online dating profiles over the course of 23 years, as an online dating expert and coach, I’ve seen first-hand what makes a profile different and why people respond to some over others.

While most single men and women say they are looking for someone with a sense of humor, it’s on the list of clichés in a dating profile.

So how do you make your potential date laugh, respond to you, and show your sense of humor? There’s a fine line between being silly and goofy and looking like a complete clown.

Our friends at  Zoosk, polled a group of their members to find out EXACTLY which words got the most responses in the humor category. The published their findings on their dating advice blog, The Date Mix.

RELATED: Top Online Dating Profile Words in the U.S.

So laugh a little, say ha ha, add an LOL and add a hilarious photo with a caption if you’d like to show off your witty side. You don’t need to be a comedian if you have this cheat sheet handy.

Zoosk Humor Infographic

So if you see something funny in someone’s profile, let them know it’s hilarious. If you can find a funny photo or add a joke to your message, this survey says you’ll 50% more messages! That’s worth more than just laughing about.

So add an emoticon, talk about your witty side and promise to laugh at their jokes.

For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. Julie was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over two decades with her Irresistible Profiles programs. She’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and ranks as the most influential person in “dating” and “online dating” in social media.

 

 

 

When It’s OK To Break Up in a Text

text message break up

I’ve always said it’s never acceptable to break up in a text message or email. It’s not even acceptable to breakup via phone if you live within driving distance of each other, or if you have plans to be together in person if you’re in a long distance relationship. It’s just too easy to break up these days.

If you cared enough to get naked with someone, you should give them the courtesy to end the relationship in a two-way dialog, and not in a digital monologue. That’s the rule of thumb, however research has shown that drive-by digital breakups via text are on the rise.

If you sleep with your phone by your bed, practically take it into the shower with you, and it’s attached at your hip, it’s become the accessory that pretty much runs your life. You can fall in love from the convenience of your mobile phone and you can end a relationship the same way.

But should you and would you?

Here’s my exception to the breakup by text rule.

If your relationship was a toxic and unhealthy one, or you’ve been lied to repeatedly, cheated on with actual evidence, not just a hunch, then why subject yourself to more lies and deception in a convo?

RELATED: The Text Message Breakup – Who’s Doing It?

If the person you’re involved with and are dating regularly, who you see every week, who calls and texts you every day has an identical relationship going on with someone else and you both think you’re exclusive, guess what? All bets are off. It’s about self-respect and self-protection at this point.

If you don’t want a confrontation and realize the relationship is not worth salvaging, before you draft that text, make a list of all the pros and cons of the relationship. Be very sure. Ask yourself how you’d like to be treated if the relationship wasn’t working out. If you had only a handful of dates, sending a quick text to say you’re not on the same page isn’t the end of the world.

On the other hand, if you’ve become deeply involved with his or her life, their family and friends, and have a full schedule of events together that you just can’t fathom attending, do the following.

  1. Draft that text and send it to yourself.
  2. Sleep on it.
  3. Run it by a close friend.
  4. Send it without expecting any response, or don’t send it if you might have a change of heart.
  5. Know that it’s over and be good with the decision (have no regrets).

Should we just end all relationships via text? Absolutely not. I’m just saying that there are times when you’re in a relationship that starts to get unhealthy that you need to think about yourself.

Maybe your bae ignores you and your texts. It could mean there’s cheating going on, excessive drinking, lying, all the things you wouldn’t want happening to your best friend. If they start happening to you and you see no way out, end it kindly and quickly. Wish the other person well.

RELATED: The Dating Expert Guide to Breaking Up

If you hear from them and they believe there’s been a misunderstanding, hear them out, but usually after you’ve slept on it, put together your pros and cons list of the relationship, you’ll soon see whether it’s worth salvaging or not. If you don’t hear from them, know that you made the right decision and be open to the possibilities of much better relationship, one that you deserve, one where the person adores and respects you to the point that you never have to question whether you should end it via text.

When it’s time to call it quits, do it with integrity. End it in person if you can. A phone call is the second choice. Texting or even ghosting isn’t the way it should go down, but if you do get ghosted, take the high road and don’t text over-and-over again to find out why.

RELATED: Confused, Is He Ghosting?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an early adopter of Internet dating, has been helping singles find love online with her Irresistible Profiles coaching programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for dating advice

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How to Flirt BIG TIME on St. Patrick’s Day

Cyber Dating ExpertSt. Patrick’s Day is here, and it’s time to get into the spirit of this flirty holiday.

Years ago, I would wear a button that said “Kiss Me, I’m Irish,” even though there was not a speck of Irish blood in me.

To help you flirt, big time and to ramp up your digital flirting skills, here’s the online dating expert’s guide to flirting on St. Patrick’s Day.

 

1. Send a flirty text. Texting the the person you have a crush on to say “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” will brighten their day. Add a four-leaf clover emoji. Even if they aren’t Irish, chances are they’ll reply to you.

2. Wear green. Find the tackiest flashing buttons, goofiest, hats, and make sure to wear something green to celebrate. It’s the easiest way to strike up a conversation with someone on St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Change your dating profile. It’s time to mix it up online. Post a photo wearing something green, ask if someone wants to get lucky in love, post quotes about the luck of the Irish and St. Patrick’s Day on your profiles and on social media. Get bolder and post “Kiss me if you’re Irish.” Start swiping right in the morning on Tinder, Bumble, or other mobile dating apps to find a date by the afternoon.

4. Send a GIF. Open your mobile dating app and send a GIF to your digital crush. These days, apps such as Tinder, Bumble, or even Twitter are using Giphy. Send a fun animated GIF to someone you’ve been chatting with to spice up the convo.

5. Send an animated e-card. We’re big fans of JibJab!, where you send a customized a video or e-card starring you. It will come complete with background music and is guaranteed to give a smile or two.

6. Smile everywhere you go. A smile is contagious and everyone wants to be around someone who appears to be happy. Practice the 5-second stare while smiling at someone you would like to meet. It’s the cue for them to come over and wish you a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” Who knows where the conversation will lead?

7. Compliment everyone. You might normally run away from the guy with the tacky green tee shirt, but stop and say hello. Take it one step further and pose in a ‘selfie’ together. He won’t be able to help himself and will put his arm around you for the photo. If the sparks start to fly, it’s your invitation to continue the conversation. Be even bolder and post it, with permission of course, on Facebook or Instagram.

8. Find a parade. Go to a St. Patrick’s Day parade in your city. Everyone loves a parade and it will give you an excuse to start a conversation with those you end up bundled up with.

 

9. Go to the dog park. There’s a reason it’s called puppy love. Put a green bandana on your dog’s collar and take a walk to the local dog park. Your dog will do the flirting for you and it will be a great conversation starter.

10. Make a Shamrock Shake. We have a healthy recipe for a Shamrock Shake that you’ll absolutely love and it can be a fun date idea. If you aren’t into buying the ingredients, and are flying solo, head to Starbucks for a coffee date and order a green tea Frappuccino, or go to a sushi bar and order green tea and green tea ice cream.

 

Wishing you much love, luck, and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top online dating expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com and has been coaching singles on finding love online with her Irresistible Profiles for over 20 years.

Julie’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook, and SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt Newsletter.

Book Pop Up

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

Today’s Quote is from Jeremy Taylor. Many of you have seen it before and it’s always worth sharing.

The power of love, friendship and passion are parts of the recipe for a great relationship. Always start with friendship, because no matter what obstacles come your way, friendship is the glue that keeps it all together.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

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Julie Spira Talks to KABC TV With 10 Dating Safety Tips

Everyday can be like Valentine’s Day, since dating and love never go out of style.

A huge thank you to KABC TV in Los Angeles for having me on Eyewitness News to share 10 of my dating safety tips. It’s my goal to help you date safely 365 days out of the year. Keep in mind, most daters have good intentions, but to be safe, follow these rules.

Some of the online dating safety tips include:

  • Facetime, Skype and/or Phone Date – Use technology to make sure you’re not dating a “bot” and to pass the phone chemistry test.
  • Visit Linkedin and Facebook  – See if you have friends in common and ask them to give you the digital thumbs up or thumbs down on your mutual connection.
  • Be Careful of the Country Dates or Emails from a Military – While I know a man from Los Angeles who married a woman from Paris, if someone contacts you from out of the country, use video chat to make sure they are real and check their punctuation. If someone from the military has a sob story and asks you for money, report them to the dating site.

RELATED: 10 SAFEST CITIES IN THE U.S. FOR ONLINE DATING

  • Saying “I Love You” Too Soon – Some people use those three little words that will make you swoon, but if you haven’t met, how can you really be in love? Sure they “get you,” but if they are mirroring your profile and you think they’re too good to be true, perhaps they are.
  • Meet in a Public Place – While it seems logical to meet in a public place, often someone will invite you to their place to “hang out” or “netflix and chill.” All first dates must be in a public place and let a friend know where you’re going and the screen/profile name of your date.

KABC Dating Safety Tips

  • Don’t Get in Anyone’s Car – While it’s chivalrous to be picked up at home, tell your date if they offer to do so, that you’d like to save that for the second or third date.
  • No Late Night Dates – With mobile apps, you can meet someone almost instantly 24 hours a day. If someone suggests a first date after 9pm, take a pass. That screams “booty call” and you don’t know if someone else was the dinner date, while you’re becoming dessert.
  • Don’t Sext Before Meeting – A Match Study showed that 34% of singles are actually having sex BEFORE they meet.  Millennials up that number to 48%! Remember, anything you text can be shared and if it doesn’t work out, chances are it will. My rule of thumb is, if you don’t want your parents, children, or boss to see your text, then don’t push the send button.
  • Let Google Be Your Best Friend – With my dating coaching programs, I conduct a Google search for email addresses, photos, and phone numbers. While I don’t believe in kissing and telling, I also don’t believe in googling and telling. Sneak a peek and be a cyber-sleuth and if something seems very off, cancel the date.
  • Limit Your Drinking on a First Date – If you’re out for dinner or drinks and are having a great time, instead of ordering a second drink or going home, order a club soda instead. Getting intoxicated on a date could lead to problems you might regret in the morning.

RELATED: Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

Remember, how you act offline when meeting someone new is the same as how you should act online. Be safe and enjoy the ride.

Happy dating and I wish you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

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10 Best U.S. Cities to Find Love This Year

Love knows no boundaries

“Love knows no reason, no boundaries, no distance. It has a sole intention of bringing people together to a time called forever.” ~Unknown

When I coach singles who are looking for love online, they limit themselves by searching maybe 15 miles from where they live. I actually had one client who only wanted to search 5 miles from Beverly Hills. When I reminded her that the airport was further than 5 miles away and she’d be happy to meet a cute guy on the plane, I convinced her to change her geographic parameters.

Whether you’re single and hoping to find your soulmate, or just want to find companionship and are open to having a long distance relationship, this list of the best cities from Zillow, may make you reconsider changing your zip code on your online dating profile, or widen the search parameters on your favorite mobile app.

See Infographic Below

RELATED: Digital Dating: Tips for Long-Distance Love

Best Cities for LoveZillow took a list of new single residents moving to a metropolitan city, their median income, and a peek at the number of spots that were good to meet a date per 10,000 residents.
The results were heavily weighed towards the East Coast and Mid-West, while the West Coast (Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego) didn’t make it to the list this year.

Here’s where you should consider moving to, if your job and family aren’t tying you to the city you reside in.

  • Boston, MA –  This collegiate city has 66% of singles, with 159 date spots.
  • New Orleans, LA – Not just a Mardi Gras party town, they’ve ranked at 59% of singles.
  • Indianapolis, IN – Even on a non- racing day, this town has 56% of singles with 30 date spots.
  • Richmond, VA – Known for their street art, this city has 54% of singles with 30 date spots.
  • Louisville, KY – Headed to the Derby? Maybe you’ll want to stay, with 54% of singles and 29 date spots.
  • Memphis, TN – A visit to Graceland might convince you to hang around longer, with 57% of singles and 20 date spots.
  • Providence, RI – Little Rhode Island’s Capitol has 53% of singles and 49 date spots.
  • Cleveland, OH – Cleveland rocks, plus they have 53% of singles and 27 date spots.
  • Las Vegas, NV – The former “Sin City” has become a hot place with the best restaurants around. Plus they’ve got 54% of singles and 21 date spots.
  • Milwaukee, WI – A visit to Lake Michigan might find you one of 53% of singles at 25 date spots.

Zillow, who’s in the real estate business, reports that the majority of new home owners are married. So my advice is to cast a wide net before you put a ring on it, or decide to couple up and go house hunting.

RELATED: Would You Move for  Love?

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Zillow - Best Cities for Love

Tinder Love Story – Adriana and Dave

Tinder Love Story - Adrianna and Dave

Meet Adriana and Dave who found love and marriage on Tinder. Find out how swiping right lead her into his arms and to the altar.

With Tinder now reporting that 80% of their members are looking for a serious or meaningful relationship, we’ll be featuring a series on couples who are happily in love, with the help of their mobile phones.

Here’s their Tinder Love Story, in Adriana’s words.

——————————————————————————————————————-

I have to admit, he was very good looking so instantly I wanted to see all of his photos. His photos weren’t of him “posing” though, they were of him being himself. There was a hilarious one of him being a goofball, one with his brother. No pictures with girls which was a huge bonus (*no girl needs the added drama of trying to figure out who the girl in the picture is ha hah). After “liking” his photos, I read his description, it read “I am a photographer and hairdresser and own hair salons. I like to have a good time and make-out”. Instantly I could infer that he had drive, was creative, and had found a hobby that filled him. And he liked to make-out – so I figured I had nothing to lose. 

RELATED: These Names Will Get You More Right Swipes on Tinder

It took about a month before we met in person. We started asking questions about each-other (where are you from, etc.) and the chemistry was instant. He was funny, we would respond with wit and humor, which made me that much more smitten and excited to meet. It took us a while to find a time that worked for both (which is why it took us a month!), but it was cool because when we would try to set-up a time, and we couldn’t because of x reason, we were really interested in what the other was doing, which made the conversations that much more dynamic.

I think there was so much great tension that built up from that cat-and-mouse chase that made it all that more exciting when we finally met. Since we had incredible energy in place, there was really no pressure when we met – which made it relaxed and quite possibly the best date of my life. We started with a movie, which actually was awesome because the silence, and how close we were sitting to each other, only heightened all the energy we had bottled up. Then we went for a drink at his favorite Indian place.

Then, a little buzzed, we went over to the most in-demand restaurant in SF, where we got what I swear was the sexiest table at the bar and ate and laughed until about 1, a.m. We ended at a dive-bar where we played pool, and finally, to end the night (and true to his profile description) we went back to his house to make-out. And yes, it was JUST to make-out – I had to leave him wanting more. 

RELATED: 12 Best  Mobile Dating Apps for Different Relationship Goals

The courtship definitely started right after our first date. I wish I could put it into words, but we both knew from that date that there was something special. The day after our first date, he helped me with a photography project. The day after that, we met up for lunch – and stayed together until dinner. The day after that, coffee – and before we knew it, we were inseparable.

From day one we were pretty much exclusive. I didn’t see anyone else after I met him, because I didn’t have to. I wasn’t missing out on anything. I felt that no one could possibly have what David had. He was handsome, funny, cultured, had so much confidence in himself but was somehow, at the same time, humble and equal to everyone around him. It has been the easiest relationship either of us has ever been in, and we say it all the time. We always wanted to hang-out with one-another, and every time we did (and still do) it was always (and still is) a good time.

If our personalities clash, they clash for two minutes, because after that, we forgive, forget about it, and we go on with our day. That’s how I knew he was the one – it was on a random night. We were in bed, just watching a movie and he had fallen asleep. Our legs were intertwined and we had just said our good nights and how much we loved each other. It wasn’t anything different to how we went to bed any other night – but that’s how I knew. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life going to bed saying I love you to him. And waking up by his kisses and hearing him say “my beautiful girl”. It’s our little, mundane routines that made me want to have a life with him. No matter what happens in the day, we always go to bed intertwined, and to me, that’s a pretty great life to have. Something I knew I wanted to keep.

RELATED: Why You Won’t Delete Tinder When You Meet The One

We’ve been together for almost 4 years and got married last April, so this year we’ll be celebrating our 1-year anniversary. Marriage has been incredible, and it’s so surreal but the most incredible feeling to look-up and see him doing whatever in the kitchen or living room, and knowing that he’s my husband. We love to travel, and have been doing tons of it, and before kids, that’s what we want to keep on doing. Family is huge for us, so kids are slowly but surely creeping into the picture, but for now, we want to be married. We want to enjoy each other, support growth in our careers, and develop something really strong so that when kids come along, we’re solid.

Congratulations to Adriana and Dave, who prove you can swipe right for love.

Photo credit: Samm Blake

Have you met someone special on Tinder or other mobile dating apps? We’d like to hear from you.  CONTACT US to share your story.

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