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Does Love ‘Trump’ Politics? Match Survey Says Yes

Love Trumps Politics

Source: Match

Last year, I believe Donald Trump hijacked Valentine’s Day.

This year, I’m relieved love is back atop the dating totem pole.

In 2017, with the Inauguration Day and Valentine’s Day less than a month apart, the results of the Electoral College vote permeated the bedroom, as well as surfaced in heated rants on social media, dividing friendships and romantic partners.

As a dating coach and love expert, the news media mostly wanted to talk to me about politics over love.

To say love got kicked to the curb by Donald Trump last year is an understatement, but our country was hurting, and relationships suffered.

I spend my days coaching singles and hearing about their attitudes on politics and dating. 

I’m happy to report I’ve noticed a shift since the new year where singles have been less interested in mentioning politics on their profiles in 2018.

In a previous Match Singles in America Survey from 2016, the dating site found 91% of singles had a better chance of getting to a second date if they mentioned politics on the first date.

With mobile dating profiles filled with text including, ‘Swipe left if you believe in all things Trump,’ to ‘Swipe Right if you think Trump is making America Great Again,’ the sentiments were strong with politics becoming one of the top deal-breakers for singles.

I spoke with Angela Hart, political writer for the Sacramento Bee on the effects of politics and love. Her piece, How Donald Trump is Killing Romance drew harsh criticism from Sean Hannity, who was apparently stunned that singles didn’t want to date a Trump supporter during one of his radio shows.

I even posted my heartfelt and emotional essays, Can True Love Endure Donald Trump and Love and Loss in the Age of Trump, where I painfully expressed how even the best relationships were getting tested due to conflicting political attitudes and views, including mine.

Now, I’m pleased to share the Match Singles in America Survey, of dating habits from 2017, just released for the 2018 Valentine’s season.

The survey shows things have lightened up for daters in the divisive political arena we’ve been living in.

In a section of the survey titled, “The Trump Effect” the Match results showed that singles put love first, ahead of our combative political climate.

Single Daters Will Now Date Across Party Lines

Match’s report showed that an overwhelming majority of singles (72%) would be willing to cross party lines with their date, with only 10% believing dating a Republican is a deal breaker and 5% saying they wouldn’t date a Democrat.

The survey, released just two days after Trump’s State of the Union address, shows singles are willing to be open to a different political point of view, with 45% saying they would try to understand the other’s perspective.

While politics was such a hot dating topic during the election year, 26% of singles in the survey said they’d change the subject if it came up on a date.

Does this mean the topic of politics is off the table for singles? Not at all. In the survey, 54% of singles think it’s important to find out their date’s political views, but the days of walking out on a date are gone, with only 5% admitting they would leave immediately.

It’s refreshing news for those seeking love and romance, and I couldn’t be happier.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 24 years with her Irresistible Profiles programs.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

SIGNUP for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox. 

Can Love Withstand Donald Trump? A Dating Expert’s Story

Can Love Withstand Trump

I have a confession.


I’ve been hiding a secret and can no longer remain silent.

As a dating coach in the business of love, I saw first-hand the strain on people’s relationships — including mine — when Donald Trump ran for and eventually became president.

During the campaign, my long-term boyfriend and I were on opposite ends of the political spectrum. He was on the right, and I was on the left. Initially, this didn’t alarm me, but over time, the division began to tear us apart, putting our relationship to the test.

I now fear, in this current political climate, that President Trump has destroyed romance as it once existed.

Once upon a time — two decades ago — we lived the fairy tale.

We fell in love at first sight, and after several joyful years together, we went separate ways. I wanted marriage, and he wasn’t ready.

Eventually, we wed others and lost touch.

Then in 2015, both divorced, we found our way back through Facebook Chat, proving a love so strong could never die.

We began sending each other digital versions of photographs neither of us had tossed away. His albums had been stored in an attic, while mine collected dust in a garage.

“We should meet up for a long drink and catch up,” his message said one morning.

I thought about it and both hesitantly and nervously, I agreed.

The moment our familiar eyes locked, we instantly realized the spark was still there.

I was the woman he wasn’t allowed to speak of during his marriage, he explained. He was the one I often regretted letting go.

When his curated mix of love songs arrived in the mail, two hearts resealed, and we resumed our romantic journey toward a second chance at love.

“We have the greatest story,” he proudly announced to my girlfriends when we reunited. I felt the same.

Blissfully, we started merging our lives with music as our backdrop.

He accompanied me to the Walt Disney Concert Hall to watch Gustavo Dudamel conduct the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Looking handsome, he wore an Italian sports jacket, and his sparkling hazel eyes matched mine identically.

I went to the Stagecoach Country Music Festival with him, wearing my Stetson cowboy hat as we walked through miles of dust and hay.

We posted photos online of us looking deliriously happy.

After a decade and a half apart, we were, admittedly, different people with dissimilar lifestyles.

I was more of an urban girl who lived in Los Angeles and frequented the liberal desert city of Palm Springs. He lived in a post-divorce rental home one hour north of me in Ventura County and thrived in the ultra-conservative mountains of Northern Idaho.

“It’s just geography,” I thought, and as a couple, we seemed to co-exist in each other’s favorite places with ease.

“I’m sorry I never proposed to you back then,” he said one evening.

My heart instantly started to race. Was my boyfriend about to get down on one knee with a ring?

After a moment of silence, I secretly hoped we still had time.

Although he had a history of commitment issues, our renewed love was growing stronger every day. That was until the heated election season rolled in when our perfect relationship started to fray.

“I can’t take another four years of the Clintons,” he murmured while pouring himself a martini.

“Don’t tell me you’d vote for Trump,” I yelled, then lost my appetite.

Once a registered Democrat, during our time apart, my boyfriend shifted his support to the Republican Party. He also hated the fact that Hillary Clinton was running for president.

Throughout the campaign, people were taking sides, and the effects began to permeate the bedroom. Couples were splitting up in “you’re fired” style — basically, instantly and without warning.

The great political divide was crushing relationships, including ours.

In a time of angry accusations of “fake news,” I started feeling like I was living in an all-too-real, fake relationship.

I was in deep conflict, believing we were the poster couple for eternal love. I didn’t want our story to end, so I buttoned my lips when he brought up his anti-liberal rants, and rolled my eyes when he praised “The Donald.”

RELATED: Love Vs. Trump – Is Politics Polarizing Relationships?

“Turn off the TV,” he insisted, as I watched the Democratic debates during our trip to the Florida Keys.

Real Time with Bill Maher was off-limits.

“Really? I asked. “I can’t watch one of my favorite talk shows?”

Instead, we settled on watching romantic comedies on demand, curled up together, as a form of truce.

When political coverage became a 24-hour reality show, I noticed his attitude and values contrasted sharply from mine. I believe in gun control and Obamacare, and he’s proud of his gun closet and supports the “big, beautiful wall.”

I thought we could just agree to disagree as my parents did, but it was clear our bipartisan relationship was in jeopardy.

For a woman with a big and public voice, I remained unusually quiet, with the hope that he’d calm down after the voting frenzy was over. Slowly, I started to pull away from him, and I felt him doing the same.

One month before Election Day, we officially became a long-distance couple. He moved to Las Vegas, and I stayed in Los Angeles. With 300 miles between us, and Trump looking over my shoulder, it was challenging to stay connected.

I visited him to see the Rolling Stones in concert. He came my way for Stevie Nicks.

Then Donald Trump surprised us both by winning the election.

Shortly after, with tensions still high, he escorted me to a Hollywood party where both of us arrived dressed in purple to represent unity during a combative time.

On Inauguration Day, my boyfriend couldn’t take his eyes off the television, and I couldn’t bear to watch. He was as excited with Trump’s swearing-in as he’d be if he scored an eagle on his favorite golf course.

Then I asked myself, “Could we survive Trump?”

Here I was, with a man who believed our country’s new leader was making America great again. Meanwhile, I checked Trump’s daily tweets, now the primary source of hard news, as my blood pressure rose.

It was clear my guy didn’t want a left-leaning girlfriend, and I couldn’t express my feelings freely.

Still, on Valentine’s Day, a few weeks later, my beloved curated the perfect 48-hour love fest, and the cloud of politics never made it to the bedroom.

He drove over four hours bringing me one dozen long-stemmed roses in a ruby-red vase, embellished with a crystal heart bracelet. We later dined at an ocean-view table at Shutters on the Beach hotel in Santa Monica, where two years earlier we had reunited.

Together, we posted photos of us on social media and still felt in love as we toasted, “to us.”

It was our last night together as a couple.

Three days later, we called it quits.

Since he’d moved out of state, I tried to convince myself distance caused the split, but it was differing politics and the associated party values that slowly killed us.

RELATED: Post-Inauguration Breakups: Differing Politics Are Destroying Love

Our president became his new hero, and he mirrored the commander-in-chief’s beliefs and behavior. He wanted a polyamorous relationship, and I wanted a devoted partner. It crushed us, but much to my surprise, I wasn’t devastated.

During the time that our country became so polarized, we had changed. My emotions went from sad to mad, but eventually, I started to feel empowered, and my voice re-emerged.

After our romance ended, I decided it was time to look for someone on my side. Luckily, I quickly met a political junkie who lives in town online on Match. He listed himself as liberal in his dating profile, which was enough for me to click the reply button.

Our first date was at a harbor-view restaurant in the Marina. A good sport, he drove over an hour in heavy traffic from downtown LA, looking distinguished in a business suit and tie. I felt immediately at ease.

“Did you vote for Trump?” he asked.

“No,” I quickly replied, as we both sighed with relief.

It was a deal breaker for us both, and as we talked about our nation’s challenges, we clicked.

I admired my brilliant date for helping Dreamers, along with his belief in stronger gun control laws. We talked about Obamacare, tax reform, net neutrality, and immigration issues plaguing sanctuary cities.

Call me a sapiosexual, but his intellect was an aphrodisiac, and our conversations lasted for hours. The floodgates opened, and in time, so did my heart. Who knew that shared leanings and Saturday Night Live monologues could top a mutual desire for dark chocolate?

Because we were in sync, we advanced to a second date, then to a third, and by now, we’ve lost count.

Talking about politics in Trump’s America is important to me.

I worry about our country, but I don’t regret reuniting with my former beau. While I realize our deep history and unconditional love had brought us back together, it’s a huge relief not to have that burning question of “what if” circling inside my head.

However, love is conditional, with politics now residing atop the dating totem pole. As disappointed as I am with our president, I have him to thank for this realization.

And I learned a valuable lesson when my love life got “trumped.” I’m now watching Bill Maher’s monologues in the arms of a man who appreciates my strong voice, and I am forever grateful to be heard.

RELATED: Dating in a Trump World – One Year Later

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s a bestselling author and the the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert. As an early adopter of Internet dating, Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for almost 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

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7 Ways to Shine During Online Dating’s Peak Season

Peak Season

There was a lot of excitement the first week of January leading up to “Dating Sunday,” a day proclaimed by Match as the busiest day of the year for online dating.

Other sites and apps also saw the surge in activity and joined in on the Dating Sunday excitement, including Plenty of Fish, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and more.

As a guest on KENS TV in San Antonio and KHOU in Houston, I spoke with reporter Jeremy Baker, on why the first Sunday of a new year is always so active.

WATCH TV SEGMENT ON DATING SUNDAY WITH TIPS TO SPEED UP YOUR SEARCH

Baker’s mother met and married his stepfather after meeting in an AOL chat room in the 1990s, and he shares the history of online dating from the early days to the present, where singles are swiping on mobile dating apps.

Now that Dating Sunday is over, what should you do next?

If you missed the spike on Sunday while watching the Golden Globes, there’s no need to fret. Peak season is in full force right now, leading up to Valentine’s Day, just five weeks away.

There’s plenty of time to find love with some of these tips.

To get you armed for in online dating’s Peak Season, here are 7 online and mobile dating tips to help you get lucky, now through Valentine’s Day.

RELATED: Dating Sunday – January 7th Was the Busiest Day for Online Dating

1. Post 5 -7 new photos to your profile and caption them if you can.

2. View and “Like” profiles and photos of 10 people a day during peak season.

3. Log on for 1/2 hour, twice daily to see who has viewed your profile and written to you.

4. Write back to those who are messaging you on dating apps and sites within the 1-4 hours, the sooner the better.

5. Don’t be shy. Make the first move and message someone whose profile looks interesting.

6. Rewrite your profile and include some of your goals for the year. Whether it’s running a marathon to writing your first novel. They’re conversation breakers that make you unique.

7. Turn on push notifications, so you’ll know instantly who’s interested in you.

If you need some extra hand-holding, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

RELATED: Is Dating Multiple People a Good Idea?

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 25 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox

Photo credit: Fotolia

Is Dating Multiple People is a Good Idea

Dating Multiple People

A few questions we get asked often at Cyber-Dating Expert, is “how many people should I be dating at a time?”

“Can I date more than one person, and should I tell the people I’m dating that I am?”

I know it’s exciting to see so many people interested in meeting you and it can become overwhelming at times.

If you’re wondering what the magic number of people you should be dating at once is, or when you should become exclusive, my interview with Global news shares how to date, without becoming a player.

Dating Multiple People

Highlights of the interview are featured in this video.

For more dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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FULL STORY at Global News

Let’s Talk About Food – Zoosk Survey Reveals What Singles Should Order on a Date

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Let’s talk about food. It’s Thanksgiving week, which means that Christmas will be here in a digital minute.

With all of the food consumption going on during the holidays and with singles dating up a storm in ‘cuffing season,’ our friends at Zoosk decided to survey 7000 singles to gauge their feelings about the most popular food to eat on a date.

If you’re planning on perusing a menu, or cooking up a storm for your date, here are some surprising facts about food and online dating, to help you decide what to order on date night, or write in your profile to get more messages.

Food Fact 1: Guacamole is the Most Popular in a Profile. 

Food - guacamole

While you might think mentioning chocolate would get the most responses, it actually ranked at number three. While analyzing over 3.7 million dating profiles and more than 364 million first messages, those who mentioned “guacamole” in their profile received 144% more messages. Who knew that mashed avocados would be so sexy? In between the guacamole and chocolate, potatoes ranked at number two, with 101% more messages.

Food Fact 2: Fried Chicken and Yams are the Worst To Mention in a Profile.

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If you’ve got a craving for fried chicken or yams, don’t order it on a date, list it in your profile, or cook it for your date. The Zoosk survey found mentioning yams resulted in a 70% decrease in inbound messages, with fried chicken ranking with a 15% decrease.

Food Fact 3: Foodies are Sexy.

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While saying you’re a “foodie” can sound as cliché as “taking a beach” walk or going from “jeans to black tie,” it’s true that the way to a man’s heart is often through his stomach. With that in mind, if you really love unique restaurants and keep up on the latest food trends, say so. The survey found profiles that include the word “foodie” receive 82% more incoming messages, while those who mention the word “cook” receive 26% more incoming messages.

Food Fact 4: Seafood is the Most Popular Food to Order on a Date.

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Have a dinner date? If you love seafood, you’re at the top of the list. The survey showed that seafood ranked the highest at 19% for online daters for their favorite date-night food, while steak came in as a close second at 18%. Does sushi count as seafood? Well, almost. Sushi ranked at number 5 at 8%.

Food Fact 5: Chocolate Covered Strawberries are Still the Sexiest.

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When I cook a romantic dinner, often I will pick up chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Next to feeding each other crème brûlée, it’s the most romantic dessert I know of, and the Zoosk survey agreed with 34% ranking it as number one. Wine and cheese came in second place at 28%. There’s no need to get too fancy, as caviar ranked at the bottom of the list at 1%.

Click here for complete details on the Zoosk survey.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.

FIND OUT how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE WEEKLY FLIRT Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox.

How to ACE Meeting His Adult Kids at the Holidays

 

Meeting Kids at Holidays

Being in a relationship with someone during your first holiday together can be both exciting, as well as filled with emotions and anxiety.

While meeting someone’s parents is a big deal, meeting your significant other’s children is a bigger deal. It’s quite possible they might have not met another woman besides their mother, and may be examining you with a cautious eye.

If your partner’s divorced or a single dad, chances are he’ll have family commitments that may or may not include you.

Before you start stuffing his turkey or filling his Christmas stocking with something fancy or coal, take a BIG deep breath and follow these tips to ensure they will love you just as much as your guy does.

1. Communicate. Talk to your significant other about logistics. Decide where you’ll be meeting his family and how long you’ll be staying there. Chances are his kids may want to see their friends as well over the holidays and meeting you won’t be as high on their priority list as it is on yours.

2. Control the PDA. While you’re used to being lovey-dovey together, there’s no getting around the fact that his kids will imagine you having sex with their dad. While they want to see him happy, they’d rather visualize the two of you fully clothed. Stick to hand holding and a hug and avoid sitting on his lap.

3. Include Laughter. Nothing will lighten up a potentially stressful situation (ie: meeting the family) than a joke and the ability to smile and laugh. Keep the jokes G-rated, regardless of the everyone’s age. Remember to stay positive and leave your baggage behind. If his kids see you’re a happy person, they’ll project to you making their dad happy as well.

4. Don’t Talk About Their Mom. The kids you’re meeting, even if they’re adult children, will always give their loyalty to their mom. Even if they realize the split was for the best, they will have years-and-years of memories of the family celebrating the holidays together.  Avoid the urge to say something about his ex, even if it’s sharing his mumbling sentiments, or a recent memory that gets brought to the table. They already have a mom and you’re not signing up to be an instant step-mother. Show respect for their mother to avoid any uncomfortable feelings.

5. Bring a Gift. If you’re going to their adult children’s home, bring a thoughtful gift, such as a holiday basket or a candle so you don’t show up empty-handed. Don’t do the complete opposite by smothering them with gifts from a stranger. If the kids are school-age, bring each of them a small gift, so they have something to open.

6. Avoid Taking Photos. Let your boyfriend or his kids be in charge of snapping photos when you meet. His family won’t be sure if you’ll be sticking around, so posting them on social media is a netiquette no-no.

7. Give a Hug. There’s something warm about hugging someone hello or goodbye. If you greet them with a handshake and your get together goes well, leave with a quick goodbye hug to show affection to your boyfriend’s kids, so they can welcome you warmly to the family and be happy for their dad.

Let your boyfriend know you’re excited you are to meet his children and that you’re proud that he thinks enough about your relationship to show that you’re officially a couple.

Remember, he’s nervous that it will go well too. Be genuine and warm.

Wishing you much love and joy at the holidays.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and was an early adopter of the Internet. Julie’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles dating coaching programs.

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox

 

Photo Credit: Fotolia

14 Ways to Date and Flirt on Instagram

Instagram heart

Are you flirting up a storm on Instagram?

Do you think finding love online means only swiping right on Tinder, Bumble or mobile apps?

Is your online dating profile a bit stale and your inbox on the empty side?

As a dating coach, I”m here to teach you how to flirt and find a date on social media, especially on Instagram.

1. Make sure your Instagram profile is public so people can follow you.

You’d be surprised how gun-shy some singles are about Instagram. They may post the most adorable selfies, but have their settings set to private, so unless you’re already connected as friends, you won’t be able to view or like their posts. If you’re single, toss out that fear of being in the public eye. It’s time to make your profile private and become strategic about what you post and who you decide to follow.

2. State in your bio that you’re single.

Being single isn’t a disease. It’s just the relationship status you have at the moment. Often there’s a digital crush who might think you’re taken, even if he or she sees a photo in the arms of your favorite cousin. By stating you’re single, you’ve just opened the love floodgates to millions of potential dates. Get ready for the ride!

RELATED: DATING IN AN INSTAGRAM WORLD

3. Follow back interesting people you think you’d like to date or at least be friends with.

If your follower count is starting to rise, don’t just look at the number. Instead look at who your latest follower is and if they seem interesting at all, follow them back. If they start posting creepy updates, you can always unfollow, or even block them if necessary.

4. Start “liking” their posts, slowly, so you won’t appear like a stalker.

Some singles like to use social media sites in a voyeuristic way. You peek, but you don’t click the like button. You never comment. You don’t even post, but you’re busy watching your followers’ feeds. It’s time to ramp up the flirting and take the digital plunge. Start slowly by liking someone’s posts, but don’t instantly like EVERYTHING this new crush posts or you may come across as needy, creepy, or even as a stalker!

5. Like your crush’s selfies.

Instagram is the perfect home for dating in a selfie world. The reason people post selfies is, well, because they want others to “like” or comment on how great they look or how cool they are. If your crush is looking for attention, don’t be shy. It’s time to click the like button, so you can show up in their feed and get on their digital radar.

6. Post to Instagram Stories

It’s no secret that the ‘Stories’ features which appear at the top of your Instagram feed get the most action. Caption your photos, add a video for more engagement and you’ll rank higher on the dating totem pole than solely posting updates.

7. Start commenting on their posts and add the heart emoticon.

Social networking works best when you remember to stay sociable. Slowly start commenting on his or her posts, but not all of them. If you see they are starting to comment on your posts, add in a heart emoticon to show you might want to be more than just friends.

8. Start using hashtags of #single #singlelife #love #relationships #dating so others can follow you.

Nothing’s a bigger turnoff than going on a digital campaign for someone who isn’t available. When you’re single, let your followers subtly know by using hashtags that define your relationship status. It’s bold, but not as needy as saying, “hey, I’m dateless this weekend and am bummed out about it.”

9. Post romantic quotes about love.

Feeling the love? Show it in your quotes. We post quotes with lyrics from love songs on Instagram, romantic quotes, and create some of our own to show we’re interested in love, big time. So should you.

10. Start searching for others with similar hashtags and start following them.

Being single is better when you’re in similar company. Do a search on Instagram for hashtags of other singles to see who’s feeling like they might want to couple up this ‘Cuffing Season.’

RELATED: YOUR GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON – GET READY TO COUPLE UP

11. Reply to comments on your posts from someone you could have a crush on.

So you’re in a groove on Instagram and your crush is commenting on your updates and selfies. Now’s not the time to back peddle and get shy. Click the heart button to his or her comments and reply back with an emoticon or xo.

12. Become a Tindstagrammer and Start Direct Messaging.

Once you’ve developed an online rapport, it’s time to start those private chats. In an article on Mashable, writer Rachel Thompson claims that Instagram is the new Tinder – whether you want it to be or not. In addition, if the object of your digital affection ignored you or swiped left on Bumble or Tinder, now they have a public chance to write to you on Instagram. It can be viewed as tenacious or creepy, so if you don’t get a response, hold back from bombarding someone in Insta in multiple DMs.

13. Post Videos

Whether you’re at a concert or the farmer’s market, views to videos just get viewed more often on Facebook and Instagram. Better yet, share it to your Stories and let your crush hear your voice.

14. Swap Digits So You Can Meet IRL.

At the end of this love campaign, if you and your crush are in a groove on Instagram, it’s time to take the plunge and send a DM with your phone number to text each other and make plans to meet in person. After all, you won’t really know if you have offline chemistry until you meet IRL.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Mobile Dating Expert. She’s the Digital Matchmaker who’s been coaching singles online for over 20 years with her Irresistible Profiles.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Instagram and Twitter

SIGN UP for the Free Weekly Flirt for dating advice delivered to your inbox

Your Guide to Cuffing Season – Get Ready to Couple Up

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Hello Cuffing Season

In case you haven’t heard of ‘Cuffing Season,’ it’s the time of the year, usually from November 1st to February 15th when the weather is cooler, and when couples decide to become exclusive and find a significant other for the big holidays; Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day.

These days, during the first week in October when the weather changes, summer romances have faded, kids are back in school, the leaves start falling, and Halloween costumes appear in the stores, is a time where the desire to couple up starts to appear and continues to grow.

Some call it Pre-Cuffing Season right now. In my experience as a dating coach and online dating expert, cuffing season just seems to start earlier and earlier each year.

Cuffing Season Defined

Urban Dictionary defines ‘Cuffing Season’ as “Usually the colder months; i.e. fall or winter, when new relationships start and old relationships turn into engagements. The persons in said relationships are ‘cuffed,’ meaning that they no longer seek non-platonic relationships with others.”

For those who are finding themselves single, don’t be surprised if an old flame reappears, even if it was someone who had ghosted you.

During Cuffing Season, guys go back into old text messages on their phones, re-review their matches on Tinder or Bumble dating apps, and sign up for online dating sites to subconsciously start or restart a relationship.

5 Ways to Find a New Relationship This Fall

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With the change of seasons, brings an opportunity for a new beginning for many.

  1. Accept party and business invitations and force yourself to go.
  2. Smile wherever you go out in public. It’s contagious in a good way.
  3. Refresh your mobile dating and online dating profiles with new photos and a new bio.
  4. Engage with people you find interesting on Facebook who are single.
  5. Flirt on Instagram and other social media channels.

With the tragic shooting in Las Vegas, there’s been an unusual need to hug one another. If you’re in a relationship that’s new, you could want to feel closer, to feel protected, and to want to express your love to that person a bit sooner than you might have had.

So if you’re looking to kiss someone special under the mistletoe this holiday season, don’t wait until November 1st to focus on love.

As a dating and relationship expert and coach, I encourage you to take the covers off your head, go out with a big smile on your face and be approachable, as it really can be an exciting time for love. Sipping hot toddies or hot chocolate by the fireplace is a visual you just might want to be a participant in. Party invites from business networking events are starting to pile in, so RSVP and fill up your date card.

If you’re in a toxic relationship or one that makes you anxious or are walking on eggshells, it’s time to get out. Staying in a bad relationship just for the holidays prevents you from finding someone more compatible to create new memories with. The possibilities are endless!

If you need any hand holding, check out our Irresistible Profiles packages to help speed up your search.

Happy Cuffing Season.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam. xo

Cuffing Season

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She has been helping singles find love on the Internet for over 20 years. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and instagram for dating advice and sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date during Cuffing Season.

 

How to Delete Tinder When You Meet The One

delete tinderDid you Swipe Right on Tinder and meet someone you’d like to date exclusively?

If so, congratulations are in order and you’re not alone.

Tinder reports 10 matches to date and 1.4 billion swipes every day.

Still, we get contacted several times a week when someone thinks their boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on them because his or her Tinder profile is still active. Typically a friend notices it and wonders if there’s trouble in paradise.

RELATED: A LOVE EXPERT HELPED US WITH OUR TINDER PROFILES

Before you start accusing your S.O. that they’ve been sneaking around and before you do something drastic like sneak a peek at their phone, as a Tinder Expert, I need to share with you that there’s a huge DIFFERENCE between REMOVING Tinder off your mobile phone, which is what the majority of people do, and actually DELETING Tinder through their app while it’s still on the phone.

The former will result in your profile still being active for others to see and it sends a message that you’re single and hoping someone will be swiping right in anticipation of a match and to meeting IRL. The latter disables your account and your Tinder profile will no longer be viewed by others who are swiping and matching.

Got it? So here’s how to fix it.

How to Delete Tinder

  1. If you’ve already taken Tinder off your mobile phone, download the app again and sign in.
  2. Once you’re signed in, on the top left side, click on the icon to view your profile
  3. Once your profile is on the screen, click on the grey gear symbol in the middle of the screen.
  4. This brings you to a “Settings” page. Scroll to the bottom of the page, where you will see the option to “Logout” or “Delete Account.” Select Delete Account.
  5. You will receive a message that says, “Account successfully deleted.”

RELATED: HELP I FOUND MY BOYFRIEND ON TINDER

If you’ve met someone you really like, give it a chance to see where it goes. If you ever break up, you an always create a new Tinder account in just a few minutes.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and mobile dating expert. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years and on mobile apps like Tinder since their launch. Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Find out how our Swiping Right program will help you have the most rocking Tinder profile to fill your date card.

 

Match Poll Shows Men and Women Agree on Wearing Red on a Date

Red Hot

Date Outfits - Cyber Dating Expert

I’ve always said single women should wear red on a date and on their online dating profile primary photos.

It’s not just because red is my favorite color, but research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology at the University of Rochester also proved that women who wore red on their online dating profiles received more emails from men, went on more dates, and the men actually spent more money on women wearing red.

We know that red is the color of love, passion, and the stop sign. But red is that winning color both in the boardroom and the bedroom.

To add to that theory, our  friends at Match partnered with Finery and polled 2500 singles to determine the best date outfits and the worst date outfits.

BEST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN

The winner by both was clearly a simple sophisticated and casual mid-length red dress, paired with a classic clutch, heels, and fun earrings. The look was called “Red Hot,” and I have to agree on the choice. So for those who think you should wear a mini-dress, or plunging cleavage, think again. 

The second pick by the guys was called “Sweet and Flirty,” which is a good summer look. Off the shoulder tops are all the rage now, and wearing hot pink is as close to wearing red as you can find.

Sweet and Flirty

Sweet and Flirty date outfit

When it comes to first date outfits, or any date for that matter, where what makes you feel comfortable, flirty, and happy. Dressing in grunge, sweats, or uggs, are good for hanging out at home, but they’re a turn-off for a guy. Dressing for women who will notice the brands will just bleed  your wallet. A guy wants to see you wearing something feminine and form fitting.

WORST DATE OUTFITS AS SELECTED BY MEN

As far as the worst date outfits, the men gave a thumbs down to outfits with minimal effort, ones that were too trendy, mis-matched, Woodstock glam, and striped with a pop of color.

Here were the top 2 losers according to the Match and Finery poll

Minimal Effort

men's worst date outfits

Trend Overload

Men's Worst Dating Outfits

Former E! News Correspondent, blogger and stylist, Alicia Quarles, commented on the fashion survey and said,

“Our poll results don’t exactly prove that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we actually found that both genders agreed on the best date look, and that men don’t care about the latest trends or high fashion.” Quarles continues to say, “They want to see a woman’s figure—and less women dressing for other women on a first date (i.e., in very fashionable outfits which are on trend, but that don’t necessarily show off everything). Through this, we’ve realized that men just want to determine all lines of attraction on a first date, including physical attraction, so outfits that don’t show a woman’s shape can potentially complicate things.”

So does it matter what you wear on a date? Absolutely. You have that split second to make a first impression and I think the choices selected by men and women are feminine and memorable, both online and IRL.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 23 years. Find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

 

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