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Julie Spira on Finding Love Online for the Jewish New Year

Jewish Dating

Photo credit: Fotolia

In my world, every day is like Valentine’s Day.

Summer love isn’t on it’s way out. The last day of summer is on September 22nd.

For Jewish singles, we’re As we head into the Jewish holidays of Rosh HaShana, the Jewish New Year on September 9th, leading into and Yom Kippur on September 19th, it coincidentally occurs around the same time as ‘Cuffing Season,’ where couples tend to find a partner to make a commitment to in the fall.

RELATED: YOUR GUIDE TO CUFFING SEASON – GET READY TO COUPLE UP

Singles really want to connect and the Jewish New Year is really the start of the overall holiday season.

In conversation with the Jewish Journal, I spoke with writer Debra Eckerling on how Jewish singles can find love online, which was featured in the print edition of the newspaper, in the “Just Asking” column on page 62.

The online version can be found online here.

“We love our work, but we should also have love in our lives,” Spira told the Journal, “and love our partner, if we have time to find one.”

For Jewish singles looking for love, I recommend joining a site or mobile dating app such as JDate, JSwipe, or JCrush, and making sure your profiles on Match, eHarmony, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, or Zoosk, and indicate that you’re Jewish, if faith is important to you.

“When it comes to matters of the heart, you need to leave the boardroom out of the bedroom. Being only in work mode leaves no room for someone to feel romantic. Women need to be able to shift, talk about different things over dinner. If you only talk about your career, you will be in the friend zone forever.”

Sometimes a summer romance will lead to marriage, as evidenced in a recent survey from Plenty of Fish, and we’ve got a few weeks left of summer.

Know that many summer romances don’t last, and when a door closes, another opens, especially with the thoughts of a sweet, New Year.  If that’s the case, here’s  how to end it gracefully.

RELATED: WHAT HAPPENS TO RELATIONSHIPS WHEN SUMMER ENDS

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert Julie Spira on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @JulieSpira.

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Did you know that we now offer dating coaching by the minute? Download the app here  for iOs mobile phones and tablets, and let’s chat now.

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Facebook for Dating? Julie Spira Weighs in on HLN

Facebook Dating - Julie Spira on HLN

This week, Facebook announced they’d like to play Cupid by starting an online dating service on the social media giant.

While the reaction in the media was as if an earthquake had hit, I wasn’t shocked at all.

As a social network with over 200 million singles listing their relationship status as “single,” it’s a potentially large market for Facebook, who could have been the world’s largest dating site if they wanted to be.

On HLN-TV, I discussed the news with Michaela Pereira, as well as the timing of their announcement.

Watch the Full Video Here

With the Facebook data breach, DATA has become a four-letter word. Singles and sites are concerned.

So will Facebook replace your favorite dating app or site? Absolutely not.

I believe this announcement gives credibility to the online dating and mobile dating apps industry. Plus it would be good for dating sites and Facebook to find a way to collaborate.

Dating sites have mastered the algorithms to give you the best dates possible.

RELATED: Match Singles in America Study Reveals if Singles Click “Add Friend” Before a Date

Sites such as Match, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and apps such as Tinder, Grindr, Happn, Hinge, and Bumble are doing a great job of connecting singles.

Keep in mind; most singles are joining more than one site, typically three.

There are the niche sites such as Farmer’s Only, Our Time, and JDate that focus on lifestyle, age, and religion, that many singles are finding love on.

This proposed service allows those who “opt-in” to agree to be a part of the new Facebook dating platform when it launches, giving you the opportunity to say yes, or no.

Facebook reports they are working on the essential issues of safety and security, which is vital for everyone looking for love online.

Five years ago, I created Facebook Love Stories, as a site to share stories of couples who found love through some of the features of Facebook. Finding a long-lost-love, or connecting through a friend-of-a-friend has been going on since the beginning of Facebook.

Dating on social media, or social dating is real. You can find love on Twitter and Instagram, and many have.

RELATED: Rules of Netiquette: Dating in a Facebook World

Would you use Facebook as a dating platform option?

Your comments are welcome.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, and was an early adopter of Internet dating, helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

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eHarmony Survey Says Over Half of Couples are Very Happy

eHarmony Happiness

Just how happy are couples in 2018?

A new poll commissioned by eHarmony and led by Harris Interactive shows good news for millennial couples.

“The Happiness Index: Love and Relationships in America” of 1000 couples reveals that 64 percent of Americans are “very happy” in their romantic relationships, with a partner or spouse with almost half being happy with their sex lives as well.

For an online dating site that has the sole goal of creating couples for long term relationships or marriage, the news is good that love and intimacy are thriving.

I spoke with Jeannie Assimos, Vice President, Content for eHarmony, who said the quality of people is very high on their site. “The intention is for our members to be there and spend time and thought into it,” said Assimos. ” Our singles are invested in finding a relationship.”

With Over 70% logins on their mobile app, you no longer have to answer 250 questions as a member, however Assimos says the matches will be better if you answer more questions. 

RELATED: 7 Quotes for Happiness Day

How did eHarmony describe perfectly happy?

Relationship status

“Tend to be on their first marriage, and they married young (‘for love’) while being very well
acquainted with their spouse/partner prior to marriage … seemingly they spent time getting to know each other first. They are likely to be exactly the same age and share many interests.”

● More likely than average to be married
● Their relationship length is significantly shorter than average
● Married at a younger than average age but knew their spouse for longer than average
before they got married
● Much more likely than average to be their first marriage
● Standard reasons for marrying (most likely ‘for love’)
● More likely than average to be in love with their spouse/partner and satisfied with their
relationship

Things they do together as a couple

“They participate in lots of activities with their spouse/partner, and have a shared interest in sports and keeping fit. Despite having kids, they make time for their relationship with regular date nights and they are not shy about displaying their happiness, being more likely to hold hands than other couples.”

RELATED: 5 Ways to Create a Great Date Night

● Team sports
● Gym/exercise classes
● Camping
● Game nights
● Particularly likely to have regular date nights and hold hands when they are out together

So keep those date nights scheduled on your calendar, even if you’re taking turns cooking a romantic meal for each other.

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How to Find a Date With a Sense of Humor

Everyone wants to date someone who’s funny and has a great sense of humor, right?

I’ve viewed countless online dating profiles that require that their match have a great sense of humor, or admit that they’re funny, but how can you tell without hearing their voice or meeting IRL?

You may of heard about the The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts from Gary Chapman’s bestselling book. It’s a terrific read and helps you to identify your love language to communicate better with your significant other, but did you know there different humor types that help you find a compatible date while looking for love online?

eHarmony Tested 6 Types of Humor

Our friends at eHarmony decided to put humor to the test. In a survey of over 1500 members, they got to view gifs and memes to rate which humor type they were the most comfortable with.

The humor categories, ranked in order are as follows:

  1. Physical Humor 
  2. Bodily Humor
  3. Self-Deprecating Humor
  4. Wordplay Humor
  5. Surreal Humor
  6. Dark Humor

In the study, it revealed that not all types of humor are created equally.

It came to no surprise that physical humor ranked at the top of the dating humor totem pole, closely followed by bodily humor.

I spoke with Jonathan Beber, eHarmony’s Senior Research Scientist, who pointed out that participants who found Wordplay humor the funniest, sent out more messages than those who weren’t fans of Wordplay.

“Sharing a similar style of humor with a romantic partner could lead to more chemistry and better relationship quality during the course of the length of the relationship,” said Beber.

Dark humor was favored the least by those who participated in the study, where online and in digital conversations, the dark humor probably came off as creepy or insulting.

Women found self-deprecating humor, where they made fun of themselves and their shortcomings, significantly funnier than the men who were surveyed.

How do you find someone with a great sense of humor?

As a dating coach, my best advice is to show your sense of humor and be willing to laugh at yourself.

  1. In your profile, make a joke and promise your potential date you can make them laugh.
  2. Hop on a phone call,  joke around, and keep the conversation light and fun.
  3. Meet quickly to see if you click. If your dark humor is a turn-off to someone, it’s better to find out sooner, rather than later.
  4. Remember that laughter is the best medicine. Say you’ll bring over chicken soup on demand if they’re under the weather.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online and on their mobile phones for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram

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12 Best Mobile Apps For 8 Different Dating Goals

Irish IndependendWe know that everyone is looking for something different when it comes to matters of the heart.

With that in mind, there is no one-size-fits-all formula or perfect dating site for everyone and the average mobile dating app user is active on 3.5 mobile dating apps!

When reporter Chrissie Russell interviewed me as the dating expert for a special Valentine’s issue of the Irish Independent’s weekend magazine, I provided a list on how people can find the right dating website or app for them. The feature is called “Finding the Most Appealing Dating Technology.”

If you can’t pick up a copy of the magazine, here are some highlights that were featured.

Dating Apps for Different Relationship Goals

1. The Young Professional: Match is a great choice because of the large amount of members worldwide. You can search by his or her profession and list your profession in your profile choices. Hinge is a dating app geared towards young professionals and recently they eliminated the swiping feature to differentiate them from Tinder. Now they’re calling themselves, the relationship app.

READ MORE: Match Adds Misconnections Feature

2. Someone a Bit Cynical About Online Dating and Apps: If you’re cynical, have some fun with some niche dating apps such as Bristlr for women who fancy men with facial hair, Align to match you based on astrology, or Gluten Free Singles for the gluten-fee intolerant.

3. Someone Just Looking for Fun: Tinder started out with most of the users swiping right to hook up. Now they say 80% of their members are looking for a meaningful relationship. Read the mini bios on the profiles to see if you should swipe right or left to find someone fun to hang out with.

READ MORE: These Names Will Get You More Right Swipes on Tinder

4. Someone Who Wants Companionship: Many sites and apps will help you find friends. The Bumble app has a BFF feature, where you can switch from looking for a relationship, to looking for a friend to hang out with for a non-dating experience. They call it switching to the friend zone.  OkCupid also gives you a choice of searching for New Friends, Casual-Dating, Long-Term Dating, or Casual Sex. Happn is a great app, because it matches you based on who you’ve crossed paths with, as they are a geo-location app.

5. Someone Divorced or Widowed and a Bit Apprehensive of Online Dating: If you’re starting over and don’t want to be bombarded with cubs looking for cougars and might want to meet someone more serious, eHarmony, a name that’s been around since 2000 would be the way to go. They allow you to take your time in communicating with potential dates.

READ MORE: Bumble App Now Helps You Find Your BFF

6. Someone Sporty Who Wants to Avoid the Bar Scene: Avoiding the bar scene is high on a lot of singles’ lists. Any site or app that has a chat feature would be good to have a virtual drink date. You can both grab a glass of bubbly or your favorite spirit and chat. If you’re a workout fanatic,, try the new Sweatt app for fitness enthusiasts.

7. Gay or Bi-Curious: Grindr was the original app for gay men, but these days many sites allow you to search based on your sexual preferences. Check out OkCupid, where in the drop down menu of your profile you can state if you’re Straight, Gay, or Bi-sexual. Click the more button and you’ll find a wider selection including Asexual, Demisexual, Heteroflexible, Homosexual, Lesbian, Pansexual, Queer, Questioning, and Sapiosexual. That’s a pretty full menu. Tinder just added a new gender feature, which includes transgender relationships.

8. Someone Not Very Good with Technology: For those technically challenged, they won’t be happy with any site. I suggest they enlist the help of a dating coach with experience in this area. A recent PEW research study showed that 30% of women had someone write their profiles. If you really can’t stomach logging on and swiping right, find a professional who can do this. As one who’s been been coaching singles for over 20 years, I do the work for many busy CEOs, or technically challenged singles, to be their digital wing woman. It solves the goal of meeting someone, while not having to be attached to the push notifications on your cell phones.

READ MORE: Find out How Irresistible Profiles Will Help You Find Your Dream Date

About Julie:

Julie Spira is the world’s top online and mobile dating expert. As an early adopter of the Internet, Julie has been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years. She’s the CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and ranks as the most influential person in social media in the categories of “dating” and “online dating.” Julie’s the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is the go-to person in the media, having appeared in over 1000 stories on the intersection of dating and technology. She was the winner of the 2017 iDate Awards for Best Dating Coach.  She’s also listed as one of the top 10 columnists to follow on Twitter.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

Julie Spira Talks Online Dating With Charles Tendell

Ask the Cyber-Dating ExpertIf you missed our radio interview on “Hacked” on the Charles Tendell show on Denver’s Talk Radio 1690 KDMT in Denver, here’s the replay for your listening pleasure.

In this one hour segment I provided tips for online dating profiles, safety, how to spot a “catfish” and how to create an irresistible online dating profile to find your dream date.

Listen Here

You’ll hear how I told Charles the story of how I became the pioneer of online dating, even before the days of Match and eHarmony. I also provided listeners with tips to be successful with Internet dating with the enormous amount of members flocking to dating sites and mobile apps.

Since many singles are looking for a different type relationship, whether it’s a long-term relationship, or casual dating, we discussed which sites are the best for you. Is Tinder just for hookups? Hear my explanation.

For the best online dating advice, I do recommend truth-in-advertising, as these days daters are hopping over to Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram, and other social networking sites to see if your photos and profiles match up.

Read the full transcript here:

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Tinder, eHarmony and Zoosk Win iDate Awards

eHarmony Zoosk iDate

Grant Langston and Kelly Steckelberg

Every year in January, the online dating industry gathers to talk about the latest trends in online dating and mobile dating.

Held in Miami Beach this year, Internet Dating Conference organizer Marc Lesnick curated a list of dating experts, matchmakers, online security experts, dating sites, and mobile dating apps for the 43rd Internet Dating Conference.

One of the highlights of the conference is the iDate Awards, which were held at the Deauville hotel in Miami Beach.

For the second year in a row, Tinder walked away with the “Best Mobile Dating App” of the year, while Zoosk won Best Dating Site of the year.  eHarmony scored with two iDate Awards, one for “Best Marketing Campaign” and another for “Most Innovative Company.”

Tinder iDate Award Julie Spira

Tinder Receives Best Mobile Dating App Award

Grant Langston from eHarmony accepted their two awards and Kelly Steckelberg, CEO of Zoosk accepted the award on behalf of Zoosk.

Other awards went to Happn, who was featured in our Mobile Apps to Use in 2016, for “Best Up & Coming Dating Site” and the “Best New Technology” award went to Dating Factory.

Some of the conference highlights included an opening Keynote from Steckelberg, where she informed the crowd that online dating is now a 2.2 billion dollar industry. “When the first dating sites came online, there were only 14% of adults on the Internet,” said Steckelberg. Today, 90% of adults are on the Internet. Most users are on multiple sites and dating apps, sometimes up to five at a time.

Mark Brooks, an industry consultant presented his 2015 Year in Review, which is always one of my favorite sessions. Brooks cited an eHarmony survey, where they found that meeting online lead to happier marriages. For those who met online, 45% met through Internet dating and 35% met through social networking and chat rooms.

Damona HoffmanTelevision was a big theme at this year’s conference, where producer’s of Carmelia Ray’s upcoming show, Mom vs. Matchmaker were highlighted in a panel. Another television panel included Damona Hoffman, who is a dating coach in Black Love on FYI, along with Devyn Simone, who is the co-host of Love at First Swipe on TLC. I held a session on Managing the Headlines: How to Get Press, filled with tips on how to respond to stories in the news about online and mobile dating.

There was a lively talk with Mark Brooks and Michael Egan, CEO of JDate to discuss Spark Networks.

All in all it was a love fest for those in attendance.

Follow @JulieSpira on Twitter

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. For dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and find out how Irresistible Profiles will help you find your dream date.

Now on Kindle and Audible, our 2nd edition of our bestselling book has been released for Valentine’s Day. Read or listen to the end to find out about our magical epilogue with a digital twist.

 

Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps of 2015

Mobile DatingI’m Julie Spira, founder of Cyber-Dating Expert and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp. Every year my team and I curate a list of the best mobile dating apps our single daters are using.

It’s time to grab your Smartphones, as we’re proud to announce the annual Cyber Dating Expert “Top 10 Mobile Dating Apps” list for 2015 for your viewing and downloading pleasure.

Ready, Set Swipe! 10 Best Mobile Dating Apps

Tinder1. TinderAndroid and iOs

We featured Tinder back in 2013, before swiping right became a household term. Tinder is the fastest growing location-based mobile dating app and Tinder-like apps are being launched every day. No longer the new kid on the block and not just for hookups (I know what you’re saying, you can’t say you met on Tinder, right?), singles are swiping left and right to the tune of 16 million swipes a day.

Related: Matt and Allee – They Met on Tinder

This year, Tinder announced Verified profiles since so many celebrities had joined the Tinder bandwagon. From Hilary Duff to your next door neighbor, everyone seems to be swiping. While Tinder is free, they launched a premium service, Tinder Plus, which costs between $9.99 and $19.99/month. Singles can now “Super Like” a potential match, giving them a digital heads up that they’re more than just a swipe away. Other premium features include “Passport,” which allows you to search in another city to help you fill your date card, before you hop on a plane or travel elsewhere. Swipe regret? Premium members can also get back that last left swipe, just in case you swiped in error.

How it works. Users download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones and connect through Facebook to create a profile. You can set your distance and age range in the “Discovery Settings.” Users anonymously swipe through potential matches nearby. If you’re interested, you swipe right. If you’re note, you swipe left. If it’s a mutual match,  you can start chatting in text message style directly through their app. Once you swipe left, that profile will never appear again. You can also decide to unmatch yourself from someone if the conversation has a lull or if you had a date that wasn’t worth repeating.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use, free, let’s you see your Facebook friends in common, and is the fastest growing mobile dating app. It’s also a fun way to make new friends, as not everyone is single. You can view a variety of potential dates in a digital moment and anonymously decide whether you’re interested in them or not. Tinder boasts 9 billion matches to date with over 10 million active users.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Hinge App2. Hinge – Android and iOs

Hinge is a mobile dating app that will only match you with friends-of-friends on Facebook and you can see where they work, as it pulls your data from Facebook. This is appealing to daters. Singles believe this app has less of a hookup tendency than others. Coming on the scene as the more serious version of Tinder (or anti-Tinder), Hinge gives you a limit of 5 -15 matches a day and this limit creates value and appreciation for each potential match. There’s also a new feature to give you a sense of urgency, as the match will disappear if you don’t message them within 24 hours. Their new handy countdown clock will let you know how much time you have left to message your mutual match. Once you send a message through the app, you’re notified that you have 14 days left to communicate. Basically, you’ll need to exchange digits within their time limitations or the match will disappear.

How it works: Singles download the app and log in using Facebook. Once you confirm your location, you’ll start receiving matches. You can see who you are connected through on Facebook and can even ask your mutual friend what he or she thinks about your potential date.  You can set your age preferences and check off some of your passions from their curated list. Once you start receiving matches, click on the heart or swipe right if you’d like to make it a mutual match or click the X or swipe left if you want to decline. When you become a mutual match, you can start communicating through the app.  Once you hit your match limit, you’ll be notified to check back and are encouraged to invite a friend to join Hinge. If you recommend a friend, they’ll send you more matches.

Why we like it: Their profiles include the first and last name of the potential date. It gives you a feeling of confidence knowing the person is genuine and authentic. Women love the app because it makes them feel safer while dating. Plus: There’s a 50/50 ratio of men to women.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Bumble3. Bumble – Android and iOs

Bumble is the mobile dating app which gives the ladies all of the control. It’s like the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Similar to Tinder, it’s free to join and users sign up from Facebook and can then set their photos, distance, and age requirements in the app.

How it works: Women view profiles of potential dates and they make the first move to select who to “like” by swiping right or who to “dislike” by swiping left. A popup will appear when you swipe left just in case you want to give a second look to a potential date. Mutual likes have 24 hours to strike up a convo in the chat bubble on the top right of the app, otherwise your match will disappear. Your chats will appear in the “Conversations” section of the app until you decide to delete them.

Why we like it: The ladies are enjoying being the one in control and let’s face it, the guys are competitive. They want to get selected.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

Match Mobile4. Match – Android, iOs, and Amazon

Match.com has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. Their mobile dating apps are free to download. Users can create a profile, view profiles to see what shared interests they have in common, send winks, upload photos from their camera roll, snap a picture, or select photos from their Facebook photos.

How it works: Match allows you to search within your criteria or select from those they have matched for you in their “Daily Matches.” Daters can click the check mark button on the right to show their interest or the X button on the left if they’re not interested. Premium members are encouraged to write to their daily matches to have a greater chance of connecting. This year, Match began allowing singles to edit their usernames so they can post their real names to give more confidence and credibility to the daters. Singles can search with their “Discover” feature in the stream, or switch to “mixer” mode where the profiles appear to be more Tinder-like where you can swipe right to match or swipe left to take a pass.  For an extra fee on top of your membership fee, you can now purchase premium features such as the “Top Spot” to help you receive 3x more views ranging from $2.00 to $2.99 or the new “Match IQ” for $1.99 for a 24-hour period, to help you decide when the best time is to reach out to a particular match you might find interesting. 

Why we like it: Online dating is a numbers game and Match has millions of members to select from. You can be the one in control writing to singles you’re interested in, or allow their algorithms to do the work for you. Plus you can turn on text alerts and receive a text to your mobile phone when you receive an email from a potential date.

Download Match Mobile on Google Play or iOs

 

Plenty of Fish5. POF – Android and iOs

POF has become one of the largest free dating apps in the world. POF reports that over 80 percent of people who access POF do so from a mobile device. Their profiles are simple and they’re now in 70 countries around the world, in case you’d like to put a stamp in your Passport.

How it works: Users sign up for free and can search for singles from their mobile dating app using new filters such as education, height, body type, by user name, newest users or the last ones to log on.  Their “Ultra Match” feature allows you to refine your matches by selecting who you are interested in and allowing their algorithms to find the best matches for you. As complicated as it sounds, it’s really quite simple. The “Top Prospects” feature is a favorite. They provide a list of singles you’ve been in contact with and believe that 50% of the time your future partner is in their Top 10 list. Add to it they believe that 17% of the time they will pick the exact person you will end up dating. With promises like that, it’s worth checking out. Premium or upgraded members can post up to 16 images and show up first on “Meet Me,” a Tinder-like swiping feature where you swipe right to vote yes or swipe left to vote no.

Why we like it: It’s free and there really is some digital magic going on with the “Top 10 Prospects” list.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

 

Grindr6. GrindriOs, Android

Grindr has made it to our “Top 10 Favorite Mobile Dating Apps” list every year. Let’s just say, they paved the way for mobile dating since their launch in 2009. Grindr is the world’s largest gay social networking app with over 2 million daily users in 196  countries.

How it Works: Grindr’s free service allows you to view up to 100 guys and match or block your matches.  Grindr Xtra, their premium paid service, is ad-free and allows you to view up to 300 guys. It also comes with push notifications and extra search capabilities, even when the app is closed.

Why we like it: They paved the way for all of the other fun dating apps. Kudos to them.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

OkCupid Mobile7. OkCupid – iOs and Android

OkCupid is free and makes it easy to access the web version of their site on your mobile phone, as well as providing a mobile-only app that is location-based and simple to use.

How it Works: Users can sign in from Facebook or directly on the mobile app to find singles in their area or by search criteria.  If you’re intrigued by someone’s photo, you can double tap on it to “like” it as a favorite and a star will appear.  They also let you know who’s online now with a bright green dot in case you want to start chatting.  The “Quickmatch” feature on the mobile app allows you to view profiles in a Tinder-like style where you can see who has liked you and turn it into a mutual match by clicking the star icon or swiping right. Not interested? Swipe left or click the X icon to take a pass. If it’s a match, you can visit their profile or send a message.

Their paid “A List” service gives you anonymous browsing and allows you to change your username. If you haven’t splurged on “A List” you can pay for their “Incognito” feature, where your profile is only visible to people you like or message. This feature also allows you to revoke a person’s access to your profile by “unliking” or hiding them. Another premium feature is “Rush Hour,” where during peak traffic times, you can boost your visibility for 15 minutes from $1.69 to $1.99 per boost. If you want to get automatically boosted once a day during peak hours, you can do so from $9.99/month to $19.99/month.

Why we like it: Having the match percentage listed on a profile photo makes it easy for those who are intrigued by the computer algorithms and makes you curious to find out why.  Plus, those provocative questions you were asked to answer to determine match compatibility can be viewed on the mobile app.

Download Google Play

Download iOs

coffee meets bagel8. Coffee Meets Bagel – iOs

CMB has won the hearts of many singles looking for love online, especially the women. Featured on Shark Tank, the creators, the Kang sisters turned down a $30 million offer from Mark Cuban to buy the company.

How it Works: Users sign up through Facebook to create their free profile. Every day at noon, you’ll receive one match (a bagel) from a friend-of-a friend. You then have 24 hours to “Like” or “Pass” on the daily bagel, or even give the match to a friend.  If you miss one of your bagel dates, you can request to be rematched. Users can visit the CMB bean shop to buy coffee beans to pay for upgraded services at the cost of $1.99 to $24.99, but can also easily win free beans by recommending a bagel to a friend and liking their social media pages. Once matched,  you can then start texting with your match in a private chat, but remember to act quickly, as the chat is only active for 8 days.

Why we like it: Users look forward to receiving their daily “bagel” at lunch time. CMB believes your dating life, including your name, birthday and email should be private. They also claim that your friends are the best conduits for your dates, and that meeting quality people doesn’t have to be so awkward or complicated. It also feels like you’re playing a fun game, as you receive coffee beans when you respond to a match.

Download on Google Play

Download on iOs

eHarmony Logo

9. eHarmony – Android, iOs and Windows

eHarmony is responsible for over 438 people getting married every day. Their free mobile app provides similar features to the desktop version, including signing up for free, getting matches, and filling out the questionnaire. eHarmony reports that users tend to access their mobile apps 5+ times throughout the day, as compared to twice a day on the laptop or desktop computer.

How it works: Singles download the app and then create their profile. You can upload photos from Facebook, receive daily matches, and use guided communication for free.  Premium paid members have the same functionality as the subscriber’s web version, where you can view photos, read and write emails, go through guided communication,  and see when a match last logged in.

Why we like it: It’s simple to use and the added “What If” feature lets you consider someone outside of your preferences. After all, what we say we want on digital paper isn’t always what we need.

Download Google Play

Download iOS

Download Windows Store

 

Happn10. Happn – Android, iOs, Windows Phone

Remember Craig’s List Missed Connections? Happn is a more modern day approach to matching with someone you’ve already crossed paths with, but never really connected. Every time you pass by a spot with another member IRL, you’ll get an instant push notification that another member is nearby and boom, you can meet instantly.  Some may find it very efficient. Others may not want to meet after a sweaty yoga class, but then again, they wouldn’t be on this app if that were the case. If you think you might miss out on a digital crush who hangs in the same h0od as you, but are on the shy side, this app is for you. Note: The app was created in France and is available in 25 cities around the world.  They are starting to expand in the U.S. and may not have rolled out in your city yet.

How it works: Download the app and log in to Facebook, where yo can edit which information in your Facebook profile that you want to appear in your bio. You must enable your location services for the app to work. Every time you cross paths with another member, it will appear on your timeline feed. You can like someone’s profile by tapping on the heart button. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll be notified and you’ll be considered in the crush stage. You can also view how many times your paths have crossed. If you want to take it a step further, men can pay to to send a charm. There is no cost to women at this point.  Charms are similar to Tinder’s “Super Like” feature, except you buy them in a package. Each charm is equal to using one credit.

Why we like it: You won’t have to wonder about the one who got away. You can also now sync with Instagram to see your potential date’s feeds and interests.

Download Android

Download iOs

Download Windows Phone

TastebudsHonorable Mention – Tastebuds – iOs

There was a great Shakespeare quote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” Now you can celebrate #MusicMonday every day of the week with a potential date who has the same musical interests as you do.  Concert dates can be a lot of fun and sharing music is passion that many have on their list as a must-have. With this in mind, although Tastebuds is a social networking app, we feel it belongs in the dating category as you can share playlists and more with your potential date.

How it works: Users can sign up easily through Facebook or via email. You can send a message bomb for free to eight of your matches. Your music library can be added or you can add your favorite artists and bands manually. Searches can be fun as you can search by the name of the band that you’re a fan of and within a certain age criteria. Within seconds you can be matched with someone who also loves Pink Floyd and the Beatles.

Why we like it? Perhaps I’m biased as a former music radio DJ, but music is a shared experience. Who would want to go to a concert with someone who didn’t know who David Bowie was?

Download on iOs

Do you have a favorite mobile dating app that you’d like to share?

Julie Spira is an online dating coach and mobile dating expert. She was an early adopter of Internet dating and has been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Julie is the creator and host of Mobile Dating BootCamp and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. For dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram. Sign up for the Free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Find out how Swiping Right can help you find your dream date.

Read more mobile dating advice.

Cyber Love Story – Courtney and Jeremy

Courtney and JeremyMeet Courtney and Jeremy our featured Cyber Love Story couple who found love on eHarmony.  They recently got married in a fairytale wedding, followed by a romantic honeymoon in the Caribbean. It was Courtney’s goal to find someone special to marry and I promised her, she’d find the love of her life. I couldn’t be happier with her romantic journey.

Here are Courtney’s words.

I met Jeremy three months into my 6-month subscription on eHarmony. He recently told me that we had been matched with each other months before we went out and that he was this close to deleting all his current matches when he saw my picture. We had only emailed a few times about dates to meet up for a drink so I didn’t know much about him. I actually couldn’t remember if his name was Jeremy or Jason so I did a panicked email search before he arrived. Thankfully I got his name just before he came through the door at the downtown bar/restaurant I picked.

We ended up talking for a good two hours and he walked with me while we looked for a taxi. It was a great first date- the best first date I had been on in a long time, probably ever. I was cautiously optimistic because he was hard to read. The next day while telling two close friends how funny and good looking he was, I went to check my email and there was a funny message from him! I was thrilled. I might have done a little happy dance.

We met for dinner and then drinks the next week and I went home to LA for a week-long visit the next day. He emailed me mid-week and we immediately made plans to see each other when I returned. From that point on we started dating regularly and finally months later, we started introducing each other to our friends.

It was slow and steady and looking back it was perfect. I’m very emotional and dramatic while Jeremy is more quiet and analytical. He brings out my more practical side and I am constantly laughing at his dry humor. I think we are a perfect match.

Last month we got married after a six-month engagement. The engagement was the only part of our relationship that went quickly! Now we are getting ready to spend our first holiday season together. For the last two years I’ve gone to LA and he’s gone to his parents’ home in New Jersey. Next week we will celebrate our first Thanksgiving together with his family (our puggle Wallis is coming with us to New Jersey) and then we’re spending Christmas week in New York with my parents, brother and sister in-law, and their new baby girl- our first niece!

Thank you Julie for your wisdom and advice. I would not be marrying this wonderful guy if I didn’t follow your Playbook!

Send us your story and we might feature YOU in our Cyber Love Story series.

Do you have an online dating story to share?

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Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years. Find out how Irresistible Coaching can help you find your dream date.  Follow @JulieSpira for dating advice and sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Top 9 Ways to Get your eMail Noticed

Online Dating TipsSo you’ve made it this far. You like what you’ve read in his online dating profile and everything is checking out. Now, there’s only one thing left to do; get the conversation started. Don’t worry, it’s a lot easier than it seems. After all, you don’t have to be spontaneous or quick on your delivery. You can take all the time you might need to write a gripping email that will engage him.

Here are Nine tips for snagging him with email

1)   Write a clever subject line. On many local dating sites your subject line is your first impression, so you need to make it pop! The key is to somehow relate to him using various approaches. Perhaps he’s a foodie as well. If so, consider writing, “from a fellow foodie” or if you know he’s into art try something like, “art event on a first date?” Pick something that really stood out to you and use it to your advantage to capture his attention.

2)   Personalize it. Once again, select specific elements from his profile and incorporate them. For example, if he says that he’s optimistic and has a sense of humor then mention that those things are important to you. Perhaps you like his smile – mention that as well and even add a smiley face emoticon.

3)   Don’t write a novel. That’s not to say keep it short. Though he might be interested in your life story, chances are he doesn’t want to hear it all at once. Leave the longer conversation for the first date. The goal in writing this email should be to pique his interest and leave some mystery so he responds. Writing too much in an initial email could mean more effort for him to reply and he might put your message on the backburner as a result. Keep it simple and don’t over think it. Try to focus on a couple of things that are important and let the conversation grow from there.

4)   Ask a question. He will be more likely to respond if you ask him a question – this could be anything. Make it lighthearted or serious to get the conversation started.

5)   Show your personality. Everyone loves someone with personality. This makes dating more fun. Show him a slice of who you are in your tone and delivery. If you’re soft spoken and shy, there’s nothing wrong with mentioning that. If you have a sense of humor, crack a few jokes. Perhaps you have a type-A personality. If so, there’s nothing wrong with sharing a story about your personality type. Just make sure to be you and be honest and authentic. He will appreciate it a lot more than receiving a generic message.

6)   Don’t sound desperate. No one wants to date someone who is needy, so try to keep your email casual. Try not to come on too strong, otherwise he might label you as needy or desperate. The first email is just an introduction and exploration to see if you two are even on the same page. And remember, you are just as much the chooser as he is the picker.

7)   Be clear in your message. The last thing you want to do is confuse him. You have all the time in the world to string together thoughts and ideas of why you’re writing to him. Take your time, relax and have fun with it. Just make sure that your email flows and it’s relevant to something that he can relate to.  Communicating a strong, clear, and concise message says a lot about someone and he will notice the effort you’ve taken in contacting him.

8)   Use bold text. Not everywhere. Just the main points you’re trying to get across. For example, if you really want him to know that you love dogs, write I really love dogs too and he’ll know just how much dogs mean to you. Do this for anything you might be passionate about.

9)   Reference date ideas – Mention a few local activities that you are into, see what kind of responses you get. Positive reactions to these outings could be good indications for where you might end up going on a first date.

We hope these tips will lead to more clicks that lead to better conversations. Good luck!

Just remember that love is always the answer, so the question becomes, how do you find it if you’re dating over 50? We’re offering an opportunity to win a free eHarmony 3 or 6 month membership. eHarmony gives singles a clear advantage, matching you with only deeply compatible singles! Lots of people are beating the odds by betting on love. And if you register now at Cyber Dating Expert you could win a FREE eHarmony account. Sounds like a win-win while looking for love online.

Contest runs from November 13, 2014 – December, 13 2014

Contest Rules

For more online dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt.

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