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The Post-Valentine’s Breakup

Peril of the Week - The Valentine's Break UpIf you’re feeling a little down after Valentine’s Day, you’re not alone.

Relationships go through peaks and valleys, or seasons and years.

Most couples love new beginnings and take the time to fall in love with each other all over again, whether from traveling to new places, or going down memory lane to where they once met. The other option is calling it quits because someone thinks the grass could be greener, which usually isn’t the case, and they often find it’s temporary.

When your expectations for Valentine’s Day, or any major holiday for that matter are high, it can cause a bump on the road or a full on collision.

RELATED: Gone Fishing or Is it Over?

The famous Facebook breakup chart shows a little bump the day before and the day after Valentine’s Day, as breaking up on Valentine’s Day would be a cruel thing to do with someone you’ve been dating for a long time.

Facebook Breakup Chart

As you can see, the time from Valentine’s to Spring Break are peak times for couples to call it quits, so hold on to your helmets. This phase happens twice a year and it’s going on right now. If you can make it past Spring Break, chances are you’re relationship will last for at least another eight months.

RELATED: Peril of the Week: The Valentine’s Breakup

Whether your relationship was sliding downward for a while, or the ending came as a complete shock, you’re bound to be feeling sad or down right now if you find yourself in this situation. 

There’s a reason why “Spring Fever” sounds like an illness and why April Fool’s Day is on par with a Valentine’s breakup. I you can relate to this, I urge you to communicate with your partner before jumping to wrong conclusions and losing what you’ve built, forever.

If you’re single, had a disappointing Valentine’s Day, or are in the middle of a breakup or divorce, you might be suffering from post-Valentine’s blues.  You may wake up sad in the morning, feel hopeless, and never get the closure you need to move on in a healthy way.

RELATED: 7 Dating Tips for Spring Fever

On the Wellness Universe blog,  Bernadette Smith listed 7 things to do if you’re feeling down after Valentine’s Day. She included sending yourself a “sweetheart card” and mailing it to yourself as something you’d like to receive from someone who loves you, as well as asking someone to hold your box of chocolates in the line at the supermarket, then leave, thus giving them a chocolate gift from the heart. Do things that make you and others feel good. I found her tips empowering and heartwarming.

The main takeaway from the post is the importance of gratitude.

Every night before I go to sleep, I say out loud, the five people I am grateful for. This helps me sleep better at night with a smile on my face. I also have a wish pillow, where I have a handwritten note in it, describing the type of love I want in my life. I have manifested love and the so-called perfect guy, by visualizing how he looked and he magically appeared. On the road map to love, I’ve been though most of the phases, which helps me be a better dating coach to you and to singles starting over, or who are looking for love online and finding it difficult in the crowded digital playground.

We are at a time where love is being replaced by fear and we don’t have to accept that. I encourage and challenge all of you to bring back love to the top of your list, starting with that lipstick on the mirror that says, “I love you.”

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

If you need a little hand-holding, find out how our Irresistible Profiles will help you find love. We have helped so many singles through our coaching programs and want to give you hope and the tools to start over again.  Your next great relationship just might be a click or swipe away.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and is an award-wining dating coach. She’s been helping singles find love online for over 20 years.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram.

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Julie Spira on KTLA With New Mobile App Features

Many thanks to KTLA’s Rich DeMuro, who interviewed me for this fun segment on mobile dating on Tech Report.

We talked about new features on mobile dating apps to speed up your search to find a Valentine’s date. Watch this video to learn about the latest tips to better your odds on Match, Bumble, and Tinder apps.

Mobile dating apps are all the rage. There are new niche dating apps to help you find a Valentine.  Are you making the most of these popular and apps?

READ MORE: KTLA: Original Post: Matchmaking Apps Add New Features To Help You Find a Date Fast

MATCH – The world’s largest dating site has been rolling out new features for their members.

  • Top Spot – For $2.99, your profile will appear at the top of a search for 60 minutes. Match says you’ll get three times more views with this feature.  You’ll also appear the in top 6 search results when members are searching for someone like you. You can view the countdown of the time remaining during your Top Spot session.  They actually show you the photos of who has viewed you in your search. You’ll also receive an activity summary via email once your session has expired.
  • Missed Connections – This free mobile only feature helps you fill your date card faster after you’ve crossed paths with them. You’ll be matched with others who could have been in the same restaurant, supermarket, etc.  You’ll have to opt-in to use this feature on your mobile app when it appears. Match says this will be less creepy that the old Craig’s List “Missed Connections” (we hope so). It’s similar to Happn’s location-based app, which is solely based on matching you with people you’ve crossed paths with. The trend of meeting IRL is important to dating apps and sites, to avoid ghosting, breadcrumbing, or just endless chats.

READ MORE: Match Adds New Missed Connections Feature

BUMBLE – This bumble bee hive apps let’s women make the first move. I call it the “Sadie Hawkins” of digital dating. Users set their distance and age parameters and start viewing matches. A simple swipe to the right says you’re interested. A swipe to the left says you’re not. If both parties swipe right, you’ll appear in the match queue, where the woman needs to strike up a chat within 24 hours. Once the match gets notified, they have to reply in 24 hours to get the chat going. If you swipe left in error, don’t worry. You get three free “backtracks” a day,  where you shake your phone to see the photo you swiped left to.

READ MORE: KTLA: Original Post: Matchmaking Apps Add New Features To Help You Find a Date Fast

Bumble Boost, their paid service, has a variety of pricing levels of one, three, or six months, or one year. 

Bumble Boost has some fun premium features including:

  • Beeline: You’ll see people who’ve liked you when you open up the app, instead of waiting to swipe right through profiles.
  • Rematch: You can get matched again with someone you didn’t have time to start a convo with. Those profiles will have a grey circle around them.
  • Extended Rematches: If you’re a busy bee, you can have unlimited extensions on your match. But then again, if you have time to open the app and extend, why not just say hello?

READ MORE: Bumble Makes Men Reply or Match Disappears

BumbleVid is their newest feature.  You can post 10-second videos to your profile that will be deleted in 24 hours.  I call it dating in a snapchat world.

TINDER – Tinder is losing the perception of only being a hook up app.  Tinder reports that 80 % of their users are looking for something more meaningful. Plus they’re seeing 1.4 billion swipes a day!

  • Smart Photos: This new feature will select your best photo and make it your primary profile shot. So if that selfie in the mirror doesn’t cut it, it will be moved to a secondary photo. It’s great because your best face will appear in a search.

READ MORE: Tinder Love Story: Adriana and Dave

Tinder Plus: This premium service costs about $9.99/month.  You’ll get unlimited swipes, as compared to the free service. You’ll can also get back your last left swipe with their rewind feature, as often as you like.

  • Passport: Planning a trip and looking to fill your date card before you arrive? Passport allows you to add other locations to search for and to appear in a search. Remember, dating apps are location-based, so your searches will show where you’re hanging out now. Just add a new city in a search and it will be on your Passport in your settings.

At the end of the digital day, there are an enormous amount of mobile dating apps. The average person using dating apps has downloaded 3.5 apps.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam. xo

Need a little help with your dating life? Find out how our Irresistible Coaching will help you find your dream date.

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Cyber Love Story – Raquel and David

Cyber Love Story - Davd and RaquelWhen David’s dad requested that I critique his son’s profile on OkCupid, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. David did not have an Irresistible Profile, not even close.

As a single dad with a heart of gold, his profile didn’t reflect what a great guy he was. As a matter of fact, the pictures weren’t inviting and throughout the profile he said, “Don’t contact me if…. and don’t contact me if…” He also included a warning label at the end.

There was such a huge list of reasons why a woman shouldn’t contact him. As a result, he had a pretty empty inbox.

Fortunately, he was a great student and his profile tune up resulted in David meeting the love of his life, Raquel and they’ve been going strong for almost four years.

RELATED: Moving from Best Friends to In a Relationship

David says he felt a familiar connection when he first gazed into Raquel’s eyes in her online dating photo. He recalls his initial comment being about one of their shared interests and that her outfit, in her profile photo, reminded him of a Viking princess.

Raquel responded and they had their first phone conversation where they discussed Robert Camp’s book, “Love Cards” and had fun discussing their connection, based on those principles. At the close of that phone call, they set a date to meet.

David very much appreciated their shared interests in self-help, spiritual, and mystery school topics and their attraction was mutual. Their first date led to a second and after their fifth, they became exclusive.  One of the first things they did together, after becoming an item, was doing a couple’s weekend at the University of Santa Monica (USM), of which Raquel is an alum, so they could start their relationship off on the right footing.

RELATED: OkCupid’s Flirting Year in Review

Most of the couples who attended had been married for many years and they were either doing what they can to re-ignite their passion or were at the end of their ropes and desperate to find a reason to stay together. Raquel and David consider themselves to be very lucky to have learned these tools and techniques, in the beginning of their relationship, which continue to be put into practice to this day, to protect and ensure that their coupling remain conscious and honored.

Since their time together, both of them have become Human Design Guides and also formed a company called, CoachEXP.com, a rating and review website for life coaches, business mentors, and spiritual leaders, which is quickly growing in popularity.  David and Raquel remain truly grateful for every precious moment they have and intend to continue to do great work together. They are partners in every sense of the word.

David says he is now in my debt, (yes men do hire dating coaches!), so I can call upon him at any time and he must comply with my wishes.

Congratulations to David and Raquel for finding love online, on OkCupid.

Do you have a Cyber Love Story to share?

FOLLOW Online Dating Expert and Best Dating Coach of the Year @JulieSpira on:

Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter for dating advice delivered to your inbox and find out how IRRESISTIBLE PROFILES will help you find your dream date.

 

 

 

And the Winner is…Julie Spira: Best Dating Coach

idate Winner Julie SpiraOne of the highlights of the year is attending the iDate Conference and Awards in Miami.

Every year in January, the dating industry gets together to discuss the latest trends in dating, mobile apps, and more.

This year, the 8th Annual iDate Awards were held at the Miami Botanical Gardens and it was an honor to be voted as a finalist for “Best Dating Coach of the Year.”

When it came time for celebrity Matchmaker Carmelia Ray to announce one of five finalists in this category, I actually felt nervous and closed my eyes, hoping I’d hear my name.

RELATED: Online Dating Expert Julie Spira Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

My wish came true, but not without the votes and support of the dating industry and all of the singles around the world who voted for me as Best Dating Coach of the Year.

Here’s a quick video of my acceptance speech at the iDate Awards.

The 13 iDate Award Winners Included:

  • Best Dating Site: Match
  • Best Dating Coach: Julie Spira (me!)
  • Beat Mobile Dating App: Bumble
  • Best Marketing Campaign: eHarmony
  • Best Up and Coming Dating Site: Lively
  • Best New Technology: Smart Match App
  • Best Matchmaker: Andrea Messent
  • Best Software and Saas: Dating Pro
  • Most Innovative Company: eHarmony
  • Best Payment System: CCBill
  • Best Niche Dating Site: Christian Filipina
  • Best Affiliate Program: Wamba and Mamba
  • Best Product Design: Dating Pro

Many thanks to Marc Lesnick from the Internet Dating Conference and Mark Brooks from Courtland Brooks for the great work putting together this event and for recognizing my 20+ years as a pioneer in the online dating industry.

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for dating advice and sign up for the FREE Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt newsletter.

Dating Expert JULIE SPIRA Named Best Dating Coach at iDate Awards

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SPIRA is Celebrated for her Excellence in Navigating Love

Miami, Florida –January 26, 2017—JULIE SPIRA, who ranks as the most influential person in dating and online dating, was named “Best Dating Coach,” at the iDate 2017 Awards. The iDate Awards represents the best dating and social networking has to offer the public. The awards include 13 categories and is the largest gathering of executives who specialize in online dating, matchmaking, mobile dating, and the growing niche dating industry.

Julie SpiraSpira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, was one of five finalists in her category and received a majority of the votes. Other winners of the iDate Awards included Match, eHarmony, and mobile app, Bumble. Spira who specializes in coaching singles who are looking for love online, is an accomplished dating coach and bestseller author who helps people looking for love in the digital age.

“Its great to be recognized for something that I’m truly passionate about,” said 2017 Best Dating Coach winner, Julie Spira. “When you love playing cupid, it’s a joy to help those who desire love to date smarter, with the goal of finding their soul mates.”

Held on location in Miami, at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden, the Internet Dating Conference is the largest trade show and business conference for the online dating, social networking, and matchmaking industries. Several business meetings are held each year covering the technology, management and marketing for the industry. The Miami conference is the largest. Held each January, it focuses on the multi-billion dollar global dating industry.

About Julie Spira

Julie Spira is a dating and relationship expert who has become the go-to person in the media for online dating and mobile dating advice. She’s been featured in over 1000 media stories and has been helping singles find love for over two decades by helping them find their perfect match.

  • America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker
  • Ranks as most influential person in dating and online dating
  • Named as one of the Top 10 Columnists to Follow on Twitter
  • Winner, Best Dating Coach for 2017

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

SIGN UP for the FREE Weekly Flirt Newsletter

PR Contact: Amy Prenner
310-709-1101

amy@theprennergroup.com

Contact: Julie Spira
310-433-7786
julie@juliespira.com

Match Adds New ‘Missed Connections’ Feature

Now you can mind more ways of meeting people around you on your mobile app.

As announced on the Match blog, their new location-based feature, “Missed Connections” will help the 55% of singles that feel technology has made it more difficult to connect with others in real life. Match wants to reverse this trend by harnessing technology to do what people want to do naturally—meet in real life.

Match, who won the Best Dating Site of the Year at the iDate awards, just announced their new feature, with the intent of beineg less creepy that the old Craig’s List “Missed Connections, and similar to Happn’s app, which is solely based on matching you with people you’ve crossed paths with.

This new feature on Match will help you fill your date card with singles, AFTER you’ve crossed paths at the same place.

The trend of meeting IRL is important to dating apps and sites, to avoid ghosting, breadcrumbing, or just chatting without meeting IRL.

RELATED: Happn Now Helps Users Meet Up With Match’s Faster

Match Missed Connections

How Missed Connections Works

  1. Match members will see a Missed Connections introduction page in the app, showing off the feature and asking you to opt-in.
  2. Once you’ve opted in, you’ll be able to browse through your recent feed of members you’ve crossed paths with, based on your current matching criteria and your location.
  3. The feature now makes geolocation THE priority in your search criteria, revealing the intersection points for your last crossed spot, within one block (such as Prince and Broadway) and the number of times a person has crossed paths with you.
  4. Missed Connections now makes it easy to start up a conversation, right within the feed, providing a natural alibi to connect with someone else.

Match’s CEO Mandy Ginsberg tells Mashable,

“While we all love to know as much as we can about potential mates, this isn’t just about giving you more information. The whole point is starting these relationships out in the real world.” 

RELATED: 5 Love Experts Predict Dating Apps for 2017, Because It’s Time to Get Offline Faster

Missed Connections helps you meet the person who hangs out at the same coffee shop or dog park; someone with similar interests.

With the trend of meeting IRL and taking the relationships offline in 2017, we have high hopes for this feature, but remember, just because you like the same place, doesn’t remove the safety element you should always adhere to when meeting someone from offline, online.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the recipient of the Best Dating Coach of 2017 and has been coaching singles with her Irresistible Dating Profiles programs for over two decades.

For dating advice, FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram, LIKE us on Facebook, and sign up for the FREE Weekly Flirt newsletter.

VOTE for Julie Spira for Best Dating Coach

Julie Spira iDate AwardsOf the many things I was thankful for during Thanksgiving week, one was the announcement of a male client who got engaged, the other was spending time with my family, and lastly, I found out that I’m a FINALIST for best dating coach in the 2017 iDate Awards to be held in Miami in January.

Voting is now open to the general public, so it would mean the world to me if you could cast your vote for Julie Spira – Cyber-Dating Expert for best dating coach.

VOTE HERE FOR BEST DATING COACH

While I was surprised to hear I was nominated, it warms my heart to know the industry realizes how passionate I am about helping singles find love.

In the Beginning

It was over 20 years ago (22 to be exact), that I first embraced online dating during its infancy. It was before Match.com and eHarmony were even launched. After helping myself and mastering the sites and chat rooms, I then started writing profiles for singles, while still keeping my day job as a technology executive. Cosmo named me the “Pioneer of Online Dating” and after my bestselling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online was released, my business expanded and I started writing dating advice for JDate, Match, eHarmony, Huffington Post, DatingAdvice.com, PlentyofFish, YourTango, and the list goes on.

Today

After two decades of helping singles find love online, I created Mobile Dating BootCamp, which was featured in the Washington Post,  appeared in the New York Times on the growth of Tinder in 2015 and 2016, have been responsible for many marriages and engagements, several online babies, have appeared in over 1000 media articles, and have some exciting TV and film projects in the works.

I credit those I met at the iDate conferences for helping me spread the news and have attended 16 iDate shows! The January 2017 iDate Awards will be my 17th time at iDate and the thought of accepting this award brings tears to my eyes and joy to my digital heart.

VOTE HERE FOR JULIE SPIRA FOR BEST DATING COACH

Thank you to those who have nominated me to be a finalist and to those who are voting now that voting is open to the general public.

Being a dating coach brings together two of my biggest passions; my love of technology and my strong belief in love. I couldn’t be happier.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my articles, watching me on TV, reading my books, and for your vote.

Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may swipe or roam.

xo

VOTE at iDateAwards.com from now through January 6th.

 

The Zoosk Singles Survival Guide to Holiday Dating

zooskholidays

Zoosk, the world’s largest social dating community, just released their Single’s Survival Guide to Holiday Dating.

The FREE Guide includes tips from myself along with two other relationship experts, gift giving ideas, online dating holiday trends, and more dating tips for the holiday season.

Their study showed that the majority of singles wanted to couple-up during the holidays and were looking for a long-term relationship.

Their survey found:

  • This holiday season, 63% of singles are looking for long-term true love, 33% of singles are just looking for a holiday party date and 4% feel it’s too stressful to date during the holidays.
  • Surprisingly, 19% of men say they would invite a woman to their office holiday party as a first date. Only 10% of women are this daring.
  • The most desired gift is a hug or a kiss.

Holiday Gift Giving
It’s hard enough to shop for gifts for friends and family, much less the perfect gift for someone you’re dating. Zoosk went straight to the source – singles on Zoosk – with a survey and asked what they would appreciate receiving as a gift this holiday. 

Overwhelmingly, singles agreed on the #1 gift they’d most like to receive this holiday: a hug or a kiss. The Guide includes additional gift ideas for new relationships.

Virtual Gift Giving
Earlier this year, Zoosk conducted a survey of its users and found that 76% said they would be more likely to respond to a potential match if they received a virtual gift from that person. A selection of Zoosk’s new holiday gifts are unveiled in the Guide.

The Data on Holiday Dating
Zoosk took a look at holiday dating activity in 2008 to see what trends and tips could be uncovered. A few of the interesting finds included:

  • The week before Christmas marks the year’s busiest week for online dating activity
  • The second most popular week of the year for online dating is the first week of January
  • In general, Mondays are the busiest day of the week for online dating activity

FOLLOW @JulieSpira on Twitter and Instagram for Dating Advice

Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert and Digital Matchmaker. She’s the CEO and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, and as an award-winning dating coach and  early adopter of Internet dating, she’s been coaching singles on finding love online for over 20 years.